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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 01-13-2022, 05:36 PM
dealingWithEvil dealingWithEvil is offline
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Default Asking a kid who they will live with.

My ex is asking our 14 year old child who they want to live with full-time and telling them not to tell me they asked. This is stressing the kid out when they see them and they don't want to go to counselling.
I am certain we will be in front of a judge for something else but this questioning is in preparation for that.
If I try to talk about this with the hostile ex then the child will consider it a betrayal and may not tell me other things.

Right now they see them a couple of days during the week but no weekends.

Anyone have learned ideas on how to handle this?
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Old 01-13-2022, 11:44 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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You advise kid to tell the other parent they dont want to discuss it and please stop asking. When they continue to ask kid tells them to stop.

Your kid is old enough to tell the other parent to stop. You can also let them know to let it go.
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Old 01-14-2022, 09:55 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Agree with Rockscan here. At 14 years old, they can (and should) easily stand up for themselves and tell other parent to bugger off on the subject and to stop asking.
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Old 01-16-2022, 03:44 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Disagree, it is hard for a 14 year old to stand up to a parent, especially a strong-willed parent.

That said, I don't think there is anything productive that the parent can do here, it is a tough spot. You cannot protect your kid when they are with the ex, you just have to provide as much support as possible when they are with you. Make them feel safe at your home, and eventually they might be able to do something about the other home.

It's not easy though, 14 years old is still pretty young to be standing up to a parent.
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