Shared Custody

[luv2luv]

Quick question.

Right now there is no final paperwork but how we have our son is on a shared 50/50 joint custody arrangement. Ex signed paperwork (we did up our own draft and were working on a final agreement) this paperwork had said that we were to have shared (50/50) joint custody. Also it mentioned that neither parent were to move 30 km away from either parent.
I recently just bought a house with my gf and her kids and my kids in city just outside of the city my ex lives in (it was cheaper and convenient for both my gf and I and the child arrangements we have). The distance equals to 15km away from her house. I do all the driving as it is now. So the two days out of a week plus every other weekend i would have to drive him to his moms house.
Now that i finally bought this house and i am ready to move in she says she is seeing a lawyer now and her lawyer said that now that i moved to a different city i am not entitled to my 50/50 shared access anymore cause i am not in the same city as her. She is trying to say now that i cannot have my son the two overnight visits during the week anymore because i live in a different city and she is goign for full custody.
We have had this arrangement for 1 1/2 years now where i have had my son 1/2 the time. Is it possible to lose my rights to have shared custody since i moved 15 km to another city----plus she doesn't have to do any of the driving?\
I'm afraid she might be doing this because of the new CRA thing where each parent can claim 6 months each when you are in a shared parenting....and i really hope that this is not the case cause i could not imagine not having my child 1/2 the time jsut so she can claim a full year. In the past she has mentioned many times that she cannot live without the benefits from the govt and on top of it i already give her $950 a month for one child.
Can someone please help me out?

[NBDad]

That CRA thing has been around for a while now. It's NOT new. Sounds like your ex is just blowing smoke. 15km difference AND you do all the driving? Pretty sure she's blowing smoke out her rear.

6 days out of 14 puts you at 42%...file for the CCTB/UCCB YESTERDAY. You DO NOT need her signature to to it.

Also, with that amount of time you should be paying OFFSET table amounts of support, NOT full table.

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

15km and another city? Please.....SOme people live in areas they could walk a block and be in another city. Suggest a week about every other weekend shared holidays and you will drive the kid to school during your time. Child Support is an offset of incomes if you have 50/50 shared care meaning you take your income and table amount, as well as her income and table amount, the one with the higher income pays the difference.

[luv2luv]

Also, with that amount of time you should be paying OFFSET table amounts of support, NOT full table.[/quote]


Problem with this is is last year she claimed no income even though she babysat all year and this year she is taking care of kids and just recently started a job but she says that her lawyer said you can't offset amounts till next claim year when we exchange T4's. ANother issue i will have with all this is her tips she makes i know she won't claim all. SO right now i pay full support. Pretty much she wants it all. THis is another reason I think she may want to try for full custody.

Also i have my son Every Tuesday overnight and every Thursday overnight and every Friday till Monday....Pretty much comes to half time when you work out him going to school through the days.

[dadtotheend]

She's lame. Trying to hang her hat on "another city" when the distance is only 15km is NOT child centred.

I agree with the other posters. Pay offset CS and file the CCTB/UCCB yesterday.

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

Then she is imputing her income, and you can request full disclosure of her earnings.

[luv2luv]

So her saying this thing about moving to another city is going to affect me having my child half the time is pretty much bull?
I don't care if she gets the benefits (it sucks that she is money hungry) i just want my child the days i have always had him and now her saying that she has a lawyer now and she says that me moving away to a different city has made me lose my weeknight overnight visits with my son tears me to pieces.
I just want to see what my rights are and if this is something that could end up in court; her fighting for full custody because i made a decision thinking was a good one for everyone and then in the end she uses it against me.

[luv2luv]

and as for offset child support how do i work that out if she is doing everything pretty much under the table and i have no proof of her working. Just makes me sick seeing her get full support, get govt benefits work 2 jobs and i have my child the exact amount of time as she does.
In the past i tried to offset the amount and she wrote in the paperwork not till next income tax claim.

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

luv dont fret it, youll be fine, and if youre concerned about law...find out if you qualify for kegal aid, or even call upper law society see if you can hire a paralegal, they are cheaper. Above all hang in there and love your kid o matter what.

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

well if she is working under the table you can request a full finacial disclusur its called a fiancial statement 13 and 13A you can set out that she also has to disclose all her bank statements for set amount of time as well as do your homework find out who she is babysitting for and what she makes. Do you ever notice how divorce makes us into detectives, about stuff we really wouldnt even ordinarily care abotu except when fighting for our kids, its so creppy what we have to do to prove this or that.

[HammerDad]

and as for offset child support how do i work that out if she is doing everything pretty much under the table and i have no proof of her working. Just makes me sick seeing her get full support, get govt benefits work 2 jobs and i have my child the exact amount of time as she does.

She cannot have an income of zero. She has an obligation to provide financially for your child, just as you do.

Now that she is possibly opening up this can of worms, I would argue that 15km is not a material change in circumstance, as the distance being travelled is not unreasonable. And I would ask the court to impute her income to an amount equal to the median amount of someone with her skill set, or if she doesn't have any marketable skills, they impute her income equal full time minimum wage, thus allowing for the offset.

[NBDad]

Is she collecting income assistance?

File the CCTB/UCCB application so you get what the children are legally entitled to while under your care.

Send her an email indicating that 15kms does not amount to a material change in circumstances, and you expect the existing status quo will be followed until further mutual agreement or order of the court.

IF she tries to pull the denial of access card, you arrive as you normally would to pick them up, if they aren't there, you try calling (once) and leave a VM...wait 5 mins...go to a corner store and buy a pack of gum, get your receipt so it shows the date/time of the purchase...then go back to the pickup location and send an email indicating you are present as per the existing status quo, and will wait 15 more minutes, if she does not turn the children over that you will consider it a denial of access on her part.

If she still doesn't turn them over within 15 mins, you go home. Repeat while you kick your lawyer in the ass (repeatedly) to get you a court date for an interim custody order. If she forces that aspect, you ALSO push for her to be imputed an income at full time minimum wage at a minimum AND you ask for costs.

[Roni]

A lawyer told me that if you have the child 50/50, you don't pay child support. I was paying CS on top of 50/50 custody and the lawyer told me to stop paying. You are setting yourself up, in court this could be used against you

[ConcernenedStepMom78]

Roni that is absolutely not true I do not know what lawyer you spoke to. Lets say Parent A makes $60,000 a year and Parent B makes $30,000 a year. when they were married their incomes were combined therfore the kids lived a lifestyle of $80,000 a year, now Parent A andParent B Seperate and or Divorce and amicably agree to 50/50 The Federal Guidelines state that in these circumstances it is an offset SO lets say Parent A and Parent B have 2 Children Parent A Looks at Table amount and his/her income and the Table amount, and Parent B looks at his her income and the table amount and they subtract the parent with the higher income pays the difference. There can be variables to this such as the parents agree to an offset amount of lets say $600 or they look at the extra s.7 expenses and lower the table amount because they take those expenses into consideration. etc....

[billm]

A lawyer told me that if you have the child 50/50, you don't pay child support. I was paying CS on top of 50/50 custody and the lawyer told me to stop paying. You are setting yourself up, in court this could be used against you

Hard to believe a lawyer said this. They sure like to say (BS) things their clients want to hear to perpetuate the billing.

It's simple - you both raise the kids in proportion to your incomes for all child related expenses. The offset method is used to calculate CS in 50/50 custody.