I haven’t been around much in a few years, as my situation has been resolved and stable, at least as much as one can hope for. Unlike many here, we didn’t go to court, as we both behaved reasonably and we have been coparenting our joint custody in relative success. He’s manipulative, I’m easy-going. He’s one of those ‘easier to ask for forgiveness than permission’ people.
This has manifested in him deviating from the set schedule with little notice to suit his plans (mostly giving up his access time or taking an extra day), and expecting me to just go along with it. Usually I do, as my life is pretty flexible and I learned early on to keep it that way. As the kids have grown older, he now tells them to tell me when he’s deviating, instead of telling me himself. I have asked him not to do this, but he hasn't stopped.
Recently, one of the kids told me he was taking them on a three-week trip overseas over Christmas Break. He’s booked it all already, flights, hotels, etc.
I’m so flabbergasted by his audacity I can’t even come up with a good response. This goes well beyond my previous flexibility. Those other situations were all fine, but this is not. He’s unilaterally taking my entire Christmas time and taking kids who aren’t the strongest students (grade 9 and 12) out of school for a week, and has created a situation where it’s very hard for me to say no, and if I do, I’m the bad guy.
Our agreement has the usual boilerplate where we each have a week of the holiday break, and alternate who gets the first one and who gets the second one. We have always deviated from it, sticking to the usual schedule but with him taking them for a couple of extra days, with the exchange around mid-Christmas Day.
Anybody have any advice on what I can do about this situation, that doesn’t hurt the kids, but would put a stop to this manipulation? That hopefully doesn’t involve a lawyer because my ex has access to superior financial power.
This has manifested in him deviating from the set schedule with little notice to suit his plans (mostly giving up his access time or taking an extra day), and expecting me to just go along with it. Usually I do, as my life is pretty flexible and I learned early on to keep it that way. As the kids have grown older, he now tells them to tell me when he’s deviating, instead of telling me himself. I have asked him not to do this, but he hasn't stopped.
Recently, one of the kids told me he was taking them on a three-week trip overseas over Christmas Break. He’s booked it all already, flights, hotels, etc.
I’m so flabbergasted by his audacity I can’t even come up with a good response. This goes well beyond my previous flexibility. Those other situations were all fine, but this is not. He’s unilaterally taking my entire Christmas time and taking kids who aren’t the strongest students (grade 9 and 12) out of school for a week, and has created a situation where it’s very hard for me to say no, and if I do, I’m the bad guy.
Our agreement has the usual boilerplate where we each have a week of the holiday break, and alternate who gets the first one and who gets the second one. We have always deviated from it, sticking to the usual schedule but with him taking them for a couple of extra days, with the exchange around mid-Christmas Day.
Anybody have any advice on what I can do about this situation, that doesn’t hurt the kids, but would put a stop to this manipulation? That hopefully doesn’t involve a lawyer because my ex has access to superior financial power.
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