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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #1  
Old 03-03-2006, 05:55 PM
FPI FPI is offline
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Today my Lawyers secretary called me to set up an appointment with my Lawyer. She wants to discuss the disclosure process and organize my file. My ex’s lawyer wants to know about my father’s estate and a mortgage my dad registered on my half of the home. She’s claiming that the house was left to me. The Will clearly states that it was left to my mom, but they seem to think theirs another will. Greed has taken over. My dad is most likely turning in his grave at the moment. Anyway I’m supposed to be questioned by my ex’s Lawyer soon, My Lawyers secretary said they want to try to avoid it even though I agreed to it, she also said it’s better to delay the process as this is strategic planning. Is it better for me if more time goes by without settling any issues? It will be one year since my ex moved out this month. We have no separation agreement in place or for that matter settled on anything. I have been paying her child support, but no spousal support. She is claiming spousal support in the amount of $1000.00 per month. Her lawyer has made no motion for this as of yet. Should I pay her spousal or wait for the court order. This might be a long time away.
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Old 03-03-2006, 08:52 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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FPI,

These are their claims but have yet to file motions to get the case moving forward. The longer she waits on her spousal support claim the question does come to mind how much need is she really in.

To get a tax deduction from the paid spousal support it either has to be part of a separation agreement or a court order. This applies to periodic payments.

I would wait for either to occur. If you just pay it voluntarily, you will not get a tax deduction. You can always do a consent order at motion time.


They may be avoiding an examination as it does cost your ex money for this too occur. The results of the examination may be already known to them.

Continue paying the child support. This is the child's right and will look good on you in the eyes of the court. This shows you are child centered and co-operative.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:38 PM
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Thanks for your response. As for examination they are asking for it, not us. My Lawyer did write that we will be asking for costs if they get no new information.
As for the spousal support they have asked for it, but no motions have been made as of today. It's been one year since she left. She seved me 5 month's after she left the home.
I feel quilty that I have given her no equalization payment as of yet. My kids are living in subsized housing. This does not me me look good. I'm living in the home and she's barely making ends meet.
I will be asking my Lawyer if I should give her some type of equalization so that she at least as money to move on. However, this might also cause her to fight for a longer period. I'm not sure what to do.
Thanks again
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:59 PM
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Careful FBI, sometimes delay tactics can come back to bite you. Yes, it is a common tactic to delay matters in order for the other spouse to give in from emotional stress of financial hardship, i.e. can't afford legal fees. But if it ends up in court it could make you look bad in front of the judge. Remember Judges use to be lawyers, they know all the tricks.

Let me look at from the other side for you so see how this could end up for you in court. Ex will claim she could not bring forward a spousal support motion, because you have not disclosed everything they have ask for. If you do not do discoveries they will also use this against you. Failure to disclosure (including discoveries) is used to get court costs. This will also be used against you in seeking a retro order.

I agree with you that you should be asking your lawyer for some kind of equalization payment before heading to court. Your right, you living in the home with her and the kids on subsidized housing and welfare payments may not sit well with a Judge.
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Old 03-04-2006, 07:14 PM
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Grace if my lawyer delays it what can I do? As for my wife she is not collecting welfare, she simply gets my child support payments and child bonus. It does not leave her much to live. However, once she is awarded spousal support I also will not be able to make ends meet. It will be very difficult to support two households with one income.
I have made her several offers she just flat out refuses them all. I was trying to base my separation on December 5, 2003 yet she moved out March 5, 2005. They have complete disclosure for December 5, 2003. I now have agreed to supply them with my 2005 statements. My lawyer also agreed that I should go through integration. However, she will be trying to delay it. I feel terrible about how my kids are living but she is not working with me she simply wants to destroy me.
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Old 03-05-2006, 06:44 PM
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Remember FBI, you are the one instructing your lawyer. If you are not comfortable playing the "delay tactic" then you should make this clear to your lawyer or seek new counsel. It is difficult to live comfortably when a one income family splits up into two households. Add legal fees on top of this and it seems the only ones coming out ahead are the lawyers. Have you tried mediation yet?
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