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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce. |
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#1
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Hi all,
-False domestic violence criminal charges have been stayed (withdrawn) after 2 years due to a technicality. We did go to trial but due to an unforeseen circumstance (not due to her credibility), it was dropped. Unfortunately, this may mean in Family court that I have not been proven innocent. -In the meantime, young kids (under 11) have had supervised access with me for 2 years for once a week as per court's order. I was heavily involved in their lives prior to the false charges. -We have a 8 day trial coming up ranging from parenting, custody, equalization, etc. Question: Is JOINT custody with every other weekend a reasonable request for me to make? She wants SOLE custody and has been making decisions for the children the past 2 years while I was busy dealing with the criminal courts. Thank you in advance |
#2
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Given your history and the established status quo you may have an uphill battle getting joint custody. Speak to a lawyer they can review your file and give you a realistic assessment of what is reasonable given your circumstances.
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#3
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My 2 cents reading your posts.
Fight for time with your kids. You'll spend time/money seeking decision making when what you probably need right now is access/more days. I would build the relationship with your kids as the first step and maybe seek it later. |
#4
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Historically, I was equally involved in my children's lives until my ex walked into the police station over 2 years ago. It just seems crazy I can lose my joint custody abilities even though I am not found guilty of anything given this new status quo that she has built for her self. |
#5
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Follow your lawyer's advice.
If it is as you say, then there's no reason why you wouldn't get shared custody at trial. Only way you'll get less is if you agree to it. Doesn't seem like you want that though, so I would offer a gradual start leading to eow, trading final say for the most access you want. |
#6
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If this is about who makes decisions then you need to decide if this is a hill to die on. She will have to ask you about activities that are a section 7 expense but do you really need to be consulted on minor medical decisions, education and religion? Or is this just a control thing? You could also word it as both parties will discuss but one party will have final say if there is an impasse.
If you know you aren’t going to get shared 50/50 right away, why not offer that the decision making moved to shared at steps. |
#7
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In my experience, my ex was bent out of shape in trying to get sole custody because she treated our kids as "her possessions". She viewed them as "hers" and not "ours" which became very apparent in court----and the judge ordered joint custody to ensure that kids see parents in equal light and that my relationship with our kids is preserved because it was apparent my ex wanted to cut me out. What counts most is parenting time in terms of having good quality relationships and memories with your kids. But careful when it comes to offering your ex decision-making. There are reasons why joint custody is important. If your ex has sole decision-making, they can come up with an excuse to put your kids in a new school that makes it unfeasible for you to exercise your parenting time properly. That is one example of how someone with sole custody can disrupt and potentially alter your parenting time. |
#8
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Judges can smell an artificially created status quo from a mile away, and your lawyer should argue that there was never a status quo as its been in dispute and your ex has taken matters into her own hands and been unilaterally acting like custody and/or access has been decided. |
#9
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I don't know how you got into this mess or why you lost decision making in the first place. In a few years the kids may be with you all the time. |
#10
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Hi all and thanks for response. This was my lawyer's response:
Joint decision making I think will be difficult to obtain at trial, but not impossible. One of the requirements for true joint decision making (that is where you both make major education, medical, and religion decisions for the boys) is that you're able to communicate with one another about those decisions. That may be problematic. Another option is that, for example, you have education and she has medical but that is not a certainty either. My understanding was that status quo is what it was BEFORE separation, and before separation is that we made decisions equally. So I'm surprised with this response. |
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
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