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  • #31
    Originally posted by court View Post
    You seem to be dealing with a totally irresponsible ex who has, until now, shown very little interest in his baby. You tried to work with him and finally you did what you felt was in your childs best interest because you need to settle somewhere and plant some healthy roots without allowing someone like him to dictate how you live your life. You have just gone about it the completely wrong way. I would take NB Dad's advice and try to back peddle a bit and fix what you have done by making some sort of deal.

    Best of luck.
    Court, the other parent is not "dictating" how the OP should be living their life. When two people have a child it is BOTH parents responsibility to conduct themselves with regards to their child's "best interests".

    Parents have to put the needs of the child before that of their own. It is something parents have to do all the time. The OP has given insight into some very concerning patterns of behavior in which it appears that they appear to feel that the child in question is their sole property. This is what differentiates a rational parent from a highly conflicted parent.

    The OP is the decider. She believes she is entitled to unilateral control over the child. She may see the child as her property and we are all expected to believe her story.

    Even if the court awards the OP sole custody making regarding schooling and medical issues, the OP appears to be the kind of parent who will typically do her best to withhold information and cut you out of all major and minor decision-making. The OP is the "sole custodial parent" and the other parent is apparently and unemployed alcoholic.

    Ultimately, the majority of posters responding appear to be at a cross-purposes with the OP on advice. If you are a sole custodial parent you are expected to advocate for the children’s best interests, she will be argue and push for the opposite. Why? To show everyone who is in control. And if the children get hurt as a result, she will blame the other parent and the people responding who apparently don't "read" what she is writing.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Tayken View Post
      Court, the other parent is not "dictating" how the OP should be living their life. When two people have a child it is BOTH parents responsibility to conduct themselves with regards to their child's "best interests".

      Parents have to put the needs of the child before that of their own. It is something parents have to do all the time. The OP has given insight into some very concerning patterns of behavior in which it appears that they appear to feel that the child in question is their sole property. This is what differentiates a rational parent from a highly conflicted parent.

      The OP is the decider. She believes she is entitled to unilateral control over the child. She may see the child as her property and we are all expected to believe her story.

      Even if the court awards the OP sole custody making regarding schooling and medical issues, the OP appears to be the kind of parent who will typically do her best to withhold information and cut you out of all major and minor decision-making. The OP is the "sole custodial parent" and the other parent is apparently and unemployed alcoholic.

      Ultimately, the majority of posters responding appear to be at a cross-purposes with the OP on advice. If you are a sole custodial parent you are expected to advocate for the children’s best interests, she will be argue and push for the opposite. Why? To show everyone who is in control. And if the children get hurt as a result, she will blame the other parent and the people responding who apparently don't "read" what she is writing.
      Cool story bro.

      Oh I never said that they were an alcoholic. I said that I moved to NWO ontario after they entered into rehab, turning their life around. You're a real gem I tell ya.

      seriously, take a hike. You're twisting me into someone awful and you've never even met me. You must really have a boring life to the point where you have to sit online and pick apart who awful other people are. I've read other posts you've written and you do nothing but judge negatively.

      Comment


      • #33
        It's definitely my fault for coming to a forum for advice. Nothing but a bunch of scorned trolls still bitter about their trials and tribulations, taking out their anger on anyone with a similar case to theirs...
        Well, in your first post, you did specifically ask those that had similar stories to give you insight.

        I don't have a similar case to yours...and I'm not bitter...nor have I been scorned....however, I am a mother.

        Imagine this whole situation in reverse. If you ex came up with a thousand reasons that you're not that great of a mother and took your kid to another province. How would that make you feel? More importantly...how do you think that your absence from your kid's life might affect him long term?

        Consider that that is maybe how his father feels on some level.

        I'm not sure why you're so openly hostile. People are trying to explain to you that you are in the wrong...that your ex has a good case to have the child returned...and that it would behoove you to eat a little crow and try to work out a deal with your ex.

        In my opinion, it would be a mistake to ignore the advice you've been given. Part of this whole process is figuring out that its not about you being right, or you winning...its about what's really best for your child. What the posters here are trying to tell you is that regardless of how YOU personally feel about your kid's father....its in your child's best interest to have his dad in his life.

        The court will see it that way too.

        Comment


        • #34
          Its better to move back, than risk that child gets taken away from you and father gets temporary sole custody.Instead of being angry that the advice isn't telling you want to hear ,you really should be getting your butt in gear to get damage control going.You screwed up,you got stupid advice don't let this get worse.If father is as half a*&ed as you say he is..shouldn't you MAKE SURE that custody stays the same???You did a remarkably bad thing thing for no real good reason ,if someone here points it out ;they are doing you a favour.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by calgarymom57 View Post
            Cool story bro.

            Oh I never said that they were an alcoholic. I said that I moved to NWO ontario after they entered into rehab, turning their life around. You're a real gem I tell ya.

            seriously, take a hike. You're twisting me into someone awful and you've never even met me. You must really have a boring life to the point where you have to sit online and pick apart who awful other people are. I've read other posts you've written and you do nothing but judge negatively.
            Tayken may or may not have made an accurate anaylysis of what you wrote, but when you are in court, your story will be picked apart in almost exactly the same way and the same things will be pointed out.

            You should be thankful that you are getting a heads up about the parts of your story that will be put under a microscope.

            If you are being misunderstood, you have to take some responsibility for the message you are sending out.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by calgarymom57 View Post
              Cool story bro.

              Oh I never said that they were an alcoholic. I said that I moved to NWO ontario after they entered into rehab, turning their life around. You're a real gem I tell ya.

              seriously, take a hike. You're twisting me into someone awful and you've never even met me. You must really have a boring life to the point where you have to sit online and pick apart who awful other people are. I've read other posts you've written and you do nothing but judge negatively.
              'Cool story bro'? What are you, 13?

              Seriously, you need to start taking some of this advice and looking at your situation from others' persepectives, which is exactly what people are giving you. You seem to think you're going to go to court, the judge is going to take your word as law, ignore anything else but your perspective and you will be vindicated. With your attitude, you WILL get picked apart in court and the judge will NOT be impressed.

              Then you'll be back here whining about how the courts are biased because you lost.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by calgarymom57 View Post
                Cool story bro.

                Oh I never said that they were an alcoholic. I said that I moved to NWO ontario after they entered into rehab, turning their life around. You're a real gem I tell ya.

                seriously, take a hike. You're twisting me into someone awful and you've never even met me. You must really have a boring life to the point where you have to sit online and pick apart who awful other people are. I've read other posts you've written and you do nothing but judge negatively.
                Thank-you for your personal opinions and pure statements of belief which appear to be mostly driven by "emotional reasoning" and not clear, cogent and relevant facts that you can back up.

                I rely upon the three subsequent messages from respected and senior posters to this site, one being a moderator as counter evidence to your unsubstantiated, emotional and personal attack against me.

                The fact that three other posters have already identified the challenges you face and numerous others, it behoves me as to why you are coming to a public web forum to "prove" anything to random internet people.

                PH already demonstrated the dysfunction of your reason and ration for which you haven't bothered to even address.

                You can attempt to make me an enemy but, the reality is your story is all too common and represented in case law. Enough case law has been provided counter to your claims.

                You provide little insight other than emotional statements of belief as to why you should have all power and control over the other parent.

                Again, as recommended by other posters, I highly recommend you seek legal counsel in this matter to truly understand the impacts of your conduct before the court.

                Update: Now 4 responders.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                  Court, the other parent is not "dictating" how the OP should be living their life. When two people have a child it is BOTH parents responsibility to conduct themselves with regards to their child's "best interests".

                  Parents have to put the needs of the child before that of their own. It is something parents have to do all the time. The OP has given insight into some very concerning patterns of behavior in which it appears that they appear to feel that the child in question is their sole property. This is what differentiates a rational parent from a highly conflicted parent.

                  The OP is the decider. She believes she is entitled to unilateral control over the child. She may see the child as her property and we are all expected to believe her story.

                  Even if the court awards the OP sole custody making regarding schooling and medical issues, the OP appears to be the kind of parent who will typically do her best to withhold information and cut you out of all major and minor decision-making. The OP is the "sole custodial parent" and the other parent is apparently and unemployed alcoholic.

                  Ultimately, the majority of posters responding appear to be at a cross-purposes with the OP on advice. If you are a sole custodial parent you are expected to advocate for the children’s best interests, she will be argue and push for the opposite. Why? To show everyone who is in control. And if the children get hurt as a result, she will blame the other parent and the people responding who apparently don't "read" what she is writing.

                  I am not justifying her behaviour, but she has moved all over the place trying to be accomodating to him it seems. Is that in the childs best interest? Not having a stable environment with family who loves him? The OP may not be dictating, perhaps that was the wrong word choice. But seriously, how long is she supposed to try and facilitate a relationship with a person who doesn't reciprocate? Eitherway, I thinking moving across the country was a horrible mistake and she needs to fix it.

                  Originally posted by calgarymom57 View Post

                  seriously, take a hike. You're twisting me into someone awful and you've never even met me. You must really have a boring life to the point where you have to sit online and pick apart who awful other people are. I've read other posts you've written and you do nothing but judge negatively.
                  You are dead wrong. Perhaps you need to go read more threads he has responded on. My posts for example. You are bringing emotions into this, something you will learn doesn't get you very far on this site.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by court View Post
                    You are dead wrong. Perhaps you need to go read more threads he has responded on. My posts for example. You are bringing emotions into this, something you will learn doesn't get you very far on this site.
                    A very wise observation by Court and as well, as stated by Court and to leverage Court's own words with some modification
                    You are bringing emotions into this, something you will learn doesn't get you very far on this site and more importantly will not get you very far in a court room.

                    Good Luck!
                    Tayken

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by court View Post
                      I am not justifying her behaviour, but she has moved all over the place trying to be accomodating to him it seems.
                      From what I read, the opposite happened.

                      They moved out west together (for whatever reason). She decided it wasn't for her and moved back to north western Ontario. Her ex some time later moves back to NWO as well. She then decides to go back out west with the child.....

                      That doesn't seem like her trying to accomodate much IMO.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        She followed him to two provinces. Unless I read something incorrectly, that is what I have come to understand. It seems like she tried and then gave up, she just went about it the wrong way.

                        Comment

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