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  • #16
    If he dies, who would get custody of the daughter? Biomom or his wife?

    Would wife have any standing if biomom wanted custody?

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    • #17
      My understanding is that if he dies, his new wife has zero rights. Bio-mom or other family members could take the child.

      A similar issue came up when talking to my lawyer about me taking care of my husband's daughter financially if anything were to happen to him. She said "why in the world would you do that?"

      If that scenario were to arise, I would still support her. If I chose not too, somehow I think her mother would find a way to fight it. (There was no life insurance clause in his divorce agreement).

      A little off topic, but my lawyer's stance was that after all these years, I had no legal rights or obligations.

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      • #18
        Ex is on welfare and has been for the last 8 years. There for she isn't ordered to pay any support unless her income changes.
        Ex will not agree to adoption nor pointing my wife as legal guardian.

        Originally posted by paris View Post
        You could request full adoption, and if Mom isn't agreeable you could have your wife named as a legal guardian. You still need Mom's permission/approval to do that. She may be more receptive to that than full adoption. That would take care of any medical and other decisions while you are away.

        Is there a current order for Mom to pay CS? Does she pay?

        My husband adopted my son when he was 3 years old. He was Dad to him from 6 months old. The main reason we did it was if anything happened to me, I still wanted my husband to raise him. It was an easy process for us. Bio-dad was completely agreeable.

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        • #19
          If I die tomorrow my ex would regain custody. At this moment my wife has no legal grounds to fall on except to fight it in court after the fact and even then it's not likely.
          That is another reason I want to do this. My ex has no interest in our daughter since her husband was accused of sexual abuse on our daughter. Ex doesn't have a large family but the ones she does have are all doing their own things and have no concern for our daughter.
          My wife wants to be the one to continue to raise my daughter should I die.

          Originally posted by Janus View Post
          If he dies, who would get custody of the daughter? Biomom or his wife?

          Would wife have any standing if biomom wanted custody?

          Comment


          • #20
            Prioritize:
            1. Your child needs medical treatment, including psychological treatment. You need to be in a situation where you do not need the other parent's consent. The history of abuse and neglect is clear and documented. You can and should apply for sole custody on these grounds.
            2. You need your current wife to be able to provide consent while you are absent. You have grounds for this. Seek to have her named one of the child's guardians.
            3. You may request the child's mother to consent to the adoption. From your description, it would seem that she has little interest in the child, and having the child away from her aids her in rationalizing and denying her role in the sexual abuse. However giving the child up completely is an ego blow for anyone. At best you can appeal to her self-interest and point out that she will no longer be in any way financially responsible for the child (True.) However if she is not on side with the idea, you may be provoking her into become more active in the child's life. You have to weigh the situation here.
            Points one and two will achieve your stated goals. Point three would give you a clearer situation with regard to what happens if you pass away. Only you can make the decision of what is the best.

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            • #21
              Thank you Mess.
              I am going to go for sole custody and have my wife labeled as my daughters guardian. So that I can get the basics dealt with. If a while after this my ex still has no interest to maintain a relationship with her child then I will look into the option of adoption so to make sure my daughter is covered in the event of my death.

              Do I just add that I want my wife to be a guardian in the regular court documents or is there a special form for this?

              HammerDad, I also think that for most cases the best interest for the child is to have involvement with both parents. That being said I could only wish that my ex was a good, involved parent. My daughter struggles with her mom being absent but if I have to choose between my daughter being physically/sexually and emotionally safe virus her having a relationship with her mom...I will make sure my daughter is safe and healthy 100 times over. This is not a case of one parent attempting to be greedy and steal the child from the other parent. This is a case of protecting the child from further harm.

              Originally posted by Mess View Post
              Prioritize:
              1. Your child needs medical treatment, including psychological treatment. You need to be in a situation where you do not need the other parent's consent. The history of abuse and neglect is clear and documented. You can and should apply for sole custody on these grounds.
              2. You need your current wife to be able to provide consent while you are absent. You have grounds for this. Seek to have her named one of the child's guardians.
              3. You may request the child's mother to consent to the adoption. From your description, it would seem that she has little interest in the child, and having the child away from her aids her in rationalizing and denying her role in the sexual abuse. However giving the child up completely is an ego blow for anyone. At best you can appeal to her self-interest and point out that she will no longer be in any way financially responsible for the child (True.) However if she is not on side with the idea, you may be provoking her into become more active in the child's life. You have to weigh the situation here.

              Points one and two will achieve your stated goals. Point three would give you a clearer situation with regard to what happens if you pass away. Only you can make the decision of what is the best.

              Comment

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