Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Termination of Parental Rights.

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Termination of Parental Rights.

    I have had primary residence of my daughter (7) for two years now. Joint custody with BM who lives in another city. She never kept up on her visits and would either cancel or make my wife go pick up our daughter early because she had other things to do. There is a long history of abuse and neglect that resulted in my daughter moving in with me and my wife.

    This past summer my daughter was having an allergic reaction to a needle she got the day before going to her mom's. Mom would not take her to the hospital and instead my wife and I drove 2.5 hours in the middle of the night to take her. Her mom had her bags packed and told us she didn't wish to continue her two week summer visit (It had only been 4 days). When we got home my daughter disclosed that she had been sexually abused by her step dad during the visit and other times before that. All proper action were taken with police and CAS. While the SF was being investigated her mom gave up all access on her own through CAS. It was stated after the criminal investigation was closed that her mom could regain her access if she chooses.

    She never did. She never contacted CAS and never attempted to contact myself or our daughter. It has been 8 months since she has seen our daughter and 7.5 since she had a telephone call with her.

    I am in the process of joining the military. I will have to leave for basic training soon and CF has talked about relocating us to another city.

    I am looking into terminating me ex's rights. besides the reasons stated already my wife has been the caregiver for the past two years. My daughter has some mental health problems from the abuse and has very extensive appointments with regards to this. A lot of it needs parental consent before being able to be done. This includes medical and educational choices.

    With my being gone and my ex having no contact on her own terms it makes it hard for us to provide the care needed for our daughter. I am looking into step parent adoption of my daughter so that while I am gone training my wife is able to continue the care m daughter receives and be able to agree to further treatment.

    My ex and her husband are also on welfare with a few children under the age of 4 and I have it in writing that she has no plans to get a job.

    So my questions are, is it possible to terminate parental rights under these terms and if so what are the best ways to go about it.

    Any advice is welcome.

  • #2
    After what you described I'm surprised your ex has any parental rights at all. I'm not an expert on this but if you have sole custody do you not have all decision making authority (medical included) for your daughter? Perhaps you should contact the attorney that handled your case. No one on here is privy to your case, unless you care to reveal your CanLII decision, so I don't know what advice you expect to glean from this forum. You are asking what rights the mother has or are you asking for peoples opinion on a decision that apparently was already rendered in the court?

    For a starter. please define "primary residence" as you understand it to be.

    Comment


    • #3
      Primary Residence means our daughter lives with me majority of the time. The order was that her mom would have her every other weekend. Rest of the time she lived with me in my city.
      I do not have sole custody, I have joint custody as stated in first sentence of this post.
      But since the summer and the criminal investigation my ex has had no contact and made no effort in regaining her contact with neither our daughter nor I.
      What I am asking is how do I go about terminating my ex's parental rights and having my wife adopt our daughter so that when I am away with the military she is able to consent to medical and educational decisions.

      Comment


      • #4
        In order for your wife to adopt your daughter, your ex and yourself will have to consent. That will simplify the process.

        If she choose to ignore your request, you can also proceed with the adoption as long you can demonstrate that she was contacted or did everything possible to contact her for her consent.

        You and your wife will have to write an affidavid on your involvement and your ex involvment or absence from the child life. Witness letters letters supporting the role of your wife in the child life to support your request.

        Once this presented to court and your ex did not bother to respond or show up to court, the adoption will be finalyse.

        I sugest you contact a lawyer to guide you through the process and it seems to me that in your situation it will be straight forward as it does not look like your ex will even bother to contest it.

        If she does, then you will not be able to do it. Your other option is to go for sole custody.

        Comment


        • #5
          I know she wont consent. But I can't say for 100% that she wont contest it. She is on welfare and already used legal aid for the previous case. She also doesn't drive, her husband does but he refuses to help her in anyway when it comes to our daughter. So it is very unlikely that she would show up for court in my city.
          If she does contest why is it that the adoption can't take place? If we can prove it is in the best interest of the child and if the child agrees to it is there nothing we can do?
          With sole custody I will be able to make all decisions in our daughter's life but what would happen when I leave and my wife is faced with decision she isn't legally allowed to make?
          Besides step parent adoption is it possible in Ontario to terminate parental rights?

          Sorry for all the questions but I need a game plan so as to continue in the military for the benefit of my family.

          Comment


          • #6
            I do not beleive that you can terminate parenetal rights even in your situation unless she consent to it. Face it, it would be a lot easier to adopt children in Canada if it was the case.

            The way the adoption works, you will be also giving up your own child for adoption but both you and your wife adopting the child.

            If I was you, I would go instead for sole custody with the rights to delegate care to the custodial guardianship to your wife in your absence.

            Adoption has a lot of meaning and I would not recommend to do it if your ex does not consent it, no matters what the situation is. Remember that even your situation with your wife can change one day and that adoption may just complicate things. i am sure you do not see this now but you never know what the future holds for you.

            I beleive that sole custody with delagated custodial guardianship in your absence would be the best solution.

            Comment


            • #7
              I understand the complications the a future divorce could bring. It's a fact of life.
              If I was to file for a motion to change a final order would I be able to change the visitation as well. I have proven concerns over my daughters safety while in the care of my ex.
              What sort of access would I ask for seeing as I most likely will not reside in the same prov. and all other visits in the past has been cut short on my ex's order and I had to go pick up our daughter for various reasons.
              There is also a mobility clause in place as my ex was attempting to flee to Alberta when she was hiding from me. So I would have to have that changed as well in order to be able to relocate with the military right?

              Comment


              • #8
                If the CF wants you... can't they provide any resources to help you straighten out this situation? Your D must be the priority. Do not go forward with enrolling in the military until your daughter's safe and stable home is guaranteed.

                If what you described is accurate... OMG... that's awful. There must be some way to ensure that the system really does look out for the child's best interests.

                Sometimes I wonder about this... so much concern about being fair to both parents, parental rights, supposedly staying connected to an unhealthy parent is somehow best for a child in the long run.

                Good luck. Fight for your kid first.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Terminating parental rights will be tough. Even in the most straight forward of proceedings it can take a long time, and all it takes is your EX showing up once and saying no and your back to square one.

                  IMO you'd best bet is filing for sole custody, and from what you describe there should be little debate that that is what is in the child's best interest. With sole custody I'm sure there would be a way for your wife to act in proxy while you are away on basic training.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    sjandme - CF wont help with prior custody things. It is in the best interest of my daughter for me to continue with the enrollment. They have given me 2 years if needed to sort this out before reloacting my family. If I drop out then I must continue with my low paying job. My wife is unable to work because my daughter requires 24/7 supervision due to her mental health problems.

                    SingingDad - Do you think it's worth contacting ex through e-mail (to have proof of contact) and ask for concent to adopt. Or should I just go forward with sole custody?
                    Also if going for sole custody what should I do in terms of ex's access. I have letter's from CAS showing she gave up her access on her own terms and have counsellors saying that to return and visit mom would put my daughter way back in her progess. I highly doubt my ex wants anything but what should I request?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      they give convicted murder's access to their kids. Terminating parental rights is virtually impossible.

                      You are best off filing a motion for sole custody, sole decision making, supervised access with Mom, permission to move for employment due to being in the military, and a no harrassment/contact order re: the stepdad.

                      Having the ex consent to adoption would be easier by far.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        So is it best to just forget the termination and just start the process of sole custody or should I attempt to contact her via e-mail and ask about the adoption?
                        Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                        they give convicted murder's access to their kids. Terminating parental rights is virtually impossible.

                        You are best off filing a motion for sole custody, sole decision making, supervised access with Mom, permission to move for employment due to being in the military, and a no harrassment/contact order re: the stepdad.

                        Having the ex consent to adoption would be easier by far.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Personally, I would wait it out and see what actually happens down the road.

                          Why rock the boat right now for a lot of what-ifs? You may or may not get assigned to some distant location. Yes, it is likely and you can cross the bridge as it comes.

                          Right now the ex isn't active in the kids life. So why light a candle under her butt by suggesting moving or adoption etc? Build up status quo of their uninvolvement and when the time comes and you are assigned to Timbuktu, you can write the ex asking for their permission to relocate. If they refuse, you file a motion in court for permission to move. If she is as uninvolved as you say, and hasn't saw the kid in 8 months already (possibly 1.5+ years by the time you know if you are being relocated), you have a really good case to be allowed to move as the ex wasn't exercising their parenting time to begin with.

                          Terminating parental rights is about as easy as getting a judge to order your right arm be chopped off. It just doesn't happen. If someone volunteers to give up their rights and there is another willing to take up the slack, then you do it outside of court via adoption.

                          But for now, let the ex continue to dig their own grave by not exercising their parenting time. So that when the time comes are you are to relocate, you'll have a history of status quo on your side to rely upon.

                          Tipping your hand now can only cause her to react accordingly and start to exercise her parenting time. While, IMO, having both parents actively involved in the kids life is best, it obviously isn't what you want. And while I don't agree with it, the advice given is what I feel is best to the question at hand.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If your wife adopting your daughter is something you two truly want (and not just as a means to end) I would still float the idea to your EX. Realize the easiest way for this to happen is for her to consent to it, if she doesn't the court process isn't fun or short. I would otherwise generally agree with what HammerDad says.

                            Either way I would talk to a lawyer even if it's just to get an opinion on how to proceed.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You could request full adoption, and if Mom isn't agreeable you could have your wife named as a legal guardian. You still need Mom's permission/approval to do that. She may be more receptive to that than full adoption. That would take care of any medical and other decisions while you are away.

                              Is there a current order for Mom to pay CS? Does she pay?

                              My husband adopted my son when he was 3 years old. He was Dad to him from 6 months old. The main reason we did it was if anything happened to me, I still wanted my husband to raise him. It was an easy process for us. Bio-dad was completely agreeable.

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X