Stress relief

[murphyslaw]

If people *had* to have marriage/cohab agreements, the SA would be easy! I don't think there's a perfect SA. It really all comes down in the end to how mature and reasonable the adults are.

Ddol: as for Karma, they say it takes 3-5 years to come around. As screwed over as I was/am by my ex (and with his wife's help) - the time is fast approaching now, that all their little dirty tricks, thievery and schemes are coming back to bite them. In any situation, it's all just a matter of 'time.'

I honestly dont think Karma will ever come around for my ex-he gets away with everything.

[arabian]

I'm not dumb. My ex is running out of lawyers that will represent him because he doesn't pay them.

If I can get an agreement, post divorce, that enhances my divorce agreement, then I will break bread with the enemy, not a problem.

I am only too willing to negotiate LOL.

[firhill]

at the start of things i found the best way for me to feel better was to do things my ex wouldnt let me do when we were together.........like as many of her friends as possible

Hilarious post

[DowntroddenDad]

One of my biggest stressors was my ex meeting my GF. I was picking up the kids for an activity, one that the kids had invited my GF to join. I called the apartment by phone to say I was there waiting at the entrance, and normally the kids simply come down. This time the ex came with them. We had the windows rolled down, and my ex strolls up to my GF and asks to talk to her in private. They had never met before, even seen pictures. My GF cooly replied that she did not think it was appropriate. My ex decided to tell her anyway that she was upset with my son for some bad behaviour and that we would need to be careful in how we handle him. My son is 18, and was within earshot of all of this, and I'm sure felt totally humiliated. And I'm pretty sure that was the point.

I sent an email to my ex telling her this was totally inappropriate behaviour, and she said that as a "co-parent" my GF needed to know. At that point we had been going out for a few months. It ddi not sit well.

As to how I deal with the stresses, I participate in some community activities that kep me busy, spend as much time with the kids as they allow, exercise and so on.

Getting the SA was very very stressfull, and it contributed to the death of the relationship with the GF as well. She was of the opinion that my ex was walking all over me and that I should fight tooth and nail. This despite the legal advice I was getting. The fact I felt she didn't respect my choice to concede some things to get an agreement was a major issue for me. In her divorce, she dictated all the terms to her ex, so it isn't like she had experience fighting in court.

My lawyer, for what its worth, said I had done as well as negotiating as he could have. He did draft up one special section of the agreement for me. My accountant, who is also divorced, agreed that sometimes you give a little so that you can move forward in your life. I conceded thousands of dollars in equalization (my accoutant helped me figure it out) but that would have quickly been spent on legals fees if I had fought it. My accountant told me it was money well spent.

[caranna]

When you have an abusive stbx who, for over a year, has been slandering you to your family, friends and business associates with malicious lies and has a lawyer who appears only too willing to help him continue, it can be stressful. Pages could be written of his bitter and acrimonious behaviour. I haven't responded in kind. I couldn't lie about him, just not in my nature

Stress Relief:

Taking daily walks, eating lots of vegetables, fruit, drinking lots of water, next to no junk food, breathing deeply when anxious (and it doesn't have to be for long..a few deep breaths will do), still can't sleep well, but it's improving. Although there has been alienation from some family members, family ties have become much stronger generally.

Reflexology treatments with a fantastic lady who has become my good friend and confidante. Meeting new friends and, regretfully, letting go of some old ones.

Reflection on my "self"...learning, growing, having Faith...it all helps.