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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 11-23-2014, 12:22 AM
momofonegreatboy momofonegreatboy is offline
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Default He only wants to communicate through my lawyer as he doesn't have one

Hi

I feel he (ex) is sinking me in legal costs. Due to his irrational and tormenting emails, I asked him not to communicate with me via email anymore. I indicated that I would communicate parenting issues with his fianc and/or via a communication log book that would travel with child week on/week off.

Communication log book never returned to our home in the first week.

Ex wrote to my lawyer indicating that I am not to communicate through his current partner (my issues are with him and not with her) or a log book and to also, not contact him via email. He only wants to communicate via my lawyer (with this he attached a long list of items he wants replies on i.e Xmas holidays, tutoring, ect.

I've found this to be unfair and part of his tactics to fork up the costs on my end for the legal bill as my lawyer says she has to legally respond on each matter. It's that or I don't retain her so I can answer these myself.

I should also note that ex has refused mediation on several accounts. I'm at a lost and don't know where to turn.
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Old 11-23-2014, 02:10 AM
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He's pretty much got you there. You can't order someone else to respond on his behalf simply because you don't want to communicate directly with him. Leave his new partner out of it and either communicate with him directly or through your lawyer. You are the one who decided you didn't want to communicate with him, it's not his new partner's problem.
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Old 11-23-2014, 05:29 AM
Beachnana Beachnana is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momofonegreatboy View Post
Hi

I feel he (ex) is sinking me in legal costs. Due to his irrational and tormenting emails, I asked him not to communicate with me via email anymore. I indicated that I would communicate parenting issues with his fianc and/or via a communication log book that would travel with child week on/week off.

Communication log book never returned to our home in the first week.

Ex wrote to my lawyer indicating that I am not to communicate through his current partner (my issues are with him and not with her) or a log book and to also, not contact him via email. He only wants to communicate via my lawyer (with this he attached a long list of items he wants replies on i.e Xmas holidays, tutoring, ect.

I've found this to be unfair and part of his tactics to fork up the costs on my end for the legal bill as my lawyer says she has to legally respond on each matter. It's that or I don't retain her so I can answer these myself.

I should also note that ex has refused mediation on several accounts. I'm at a lost and don't know where to turn.
My daughter instructed her lawyer not to accept emails or any correspondence from her ex. Her lawyer then sent a letter to her ex informing him that he was not able to communiate with and respond to any communications unless he had been told by her to do. So communication just stopped. Your lawyer works for you and should only be responding to what you tell her to respond to.
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Old 11-23-2014, 08:53 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Seems like this backfired on you. You demanded no email communication and instead wanted to dictate the terms of communication (through his new partner which is never a good idea or communication book which the children could read depending on age). He in turn shot those ideas down. Many people communicate through lawyers. If he chooses to self rep that is his right.

If you have now decided that you don't want him communicating directly with your lawyer, I suggest you have your lawyer write him stating that he must communicate via email with you and if you feel the lawyer needs to get involved you will involve them. However, not all lawyers will allow this so best to speak to your lawyer.
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Old 11-23-2014, 10:15 AM
momofonegreatboy momofonegreatboy is offline
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Thanks. Is there a website out there that allows parties to communicate without having to utilize a communication log book that travels with the child?


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Old 11-23-2014, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momofonegreatboy View Post
Thanks. Is there a website out there that allows parties to communicate without having to utilize a communication log book that travels with the child?


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Tools to simplify shared child custody. - Our Family Wizard - child custody, parenting time
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  #7  
Old 11-23-2014, 02:26 PM
Serene Serene is offline
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Beachnana I'm going to disagree with what the lawyer did in your post. All lawyers are bound by a code of conduct. In ontario, rule 6 states that lawyers must respond to correspondence which requires a response in a reasonable amount of time. While the lawyer "works for you" they are still bound by their profession's code of conduct.

In any event, to the OP - you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. And it came back to bite you. I also get the impression that you're stirring the pot by insisting that you deal with his new partner. And whether this is true or not, it sure gives that perception.

You're request was rather unreasonable. What's the harm with email? You could look at the emails whenever you wanted. And respond at your leisure.
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Old 11-23-2014, 02:42 PM
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You should open an email just for him so he doesn't flood your regular mail plus you can read it whenever you feel like it. In email you get track of everything and its the best source of communication. So ask him that you wanna contact via email only and stick to it. If he refuses make it clear that he will pay lawyer's fees. His excuse cannot be that you refused email first.
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  #9  
Old 11-23-2014, 03:47 PM
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During the early stages of my separation I had a terrible time with ex's g/f who would incessantly email and pretend to be my ex (she still does this from time to time).

My ex went through a period where he changed lawyers and even one year he was self-represented.

In order to not have to deal with the g/f and be assured communication was actually from my ex I insisted on ex faxing me hand-written communication. This worked well and I received higher quality communication.

My lawyer certainly did not respond to each and every letter my ex (g/f) sent lawyer during the period of self-representation. In fact he rarely responded unless it was to put forward a court date or to send information such as tax return or a filed Order.
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  #10  
Old 11-23-2014, 05:39 PM
momofonegreatboy momofonegreatboy is offline
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Just to be clear, it's not the fact that I have asked that he no longer emails me, it's the fact that he wrote to my lawyer asking that I no longer communicate with him. My lawyer now feels she has a legal obligation ( i.e him asking her to recommend a list of mediators ect.) My lawyer is now in a position to charge me for a long list of his requests or I communicate with him directly (which got us nowhere) and not use her services anymore.


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