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Will the Court order a weekend change???

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  • Will the Court order a weekend change???

    Hi All, my husband and I are married with an 8 month old daugther, and my husband has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship. In our final court order regarding access with his 10 year old, it states that we have two weeks of summer vacation access, and that time periods greater than two weeks can be negotiated between the parents. We requested an extra week of summer vacation, since I am on mat leave all summer and the 10 year old loves being around her baby sister. Our request was immediately "denied". We were then told about 2 months later that on father's day weekend, which is our regularly scheduled weekend, that his ex is taking the 10 year old because her sister is getting married. We wrote back and explained that this is our weekend, and it's father's day weekend and we already have plans. We then offered that she can allow us an extra week in the summer, and we would try and change our plans.... she wrote back with a letter threatening that her lawyer will put a motion into the court so that she can have the 10 year old on that weekend. We are constantly asking for more time and access with my step daughter, and are always told that we need to follow the final court order exactly as it is written. But this weekend is OUR regularly court ordered weekend, and now that the final court order does not work to her benefit, she is trying to threaten going back to court and sticking us with all of the legal costs.

    Question: Will the court order that she can have the daughter on our weekend?
    Thanks!

  • #2
    Originally posted by monksamillion View Post
    Hi All, my husband and I are married with an 8 month old daugther, and my husband has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship. In our final court order regarding access with his 10 year old, it states that we have two weeks of summer vacation access, and that time periods greater than two weeks can be negotiated between the parents. We requested an extra week of summer vacation, since I am on mat leave all summer and the 10 year old loves being around her baby sister. Our request was immediately "denied". We were then told about 2 months later that on father's day weekend, which is our regularly scheduled weekend, that his ex is taking the 10 year old because her sister is getting married. We wrote back and explained that this is our weekend, and it's father's day weekend and we already have plans. We then offered that she can allow us an extra week in the summer, and we would try and change our plans.... she wrote back with a letter threatening that her lawyer will put a motion into the court so that she can have the 10 year old on that weekend. We are constantly asking for more time and access with my step daughter, and are always told that we need to follow the final court order exactly as it is written. But this weekend is OUR regularly court ordered weekend, and now that the final court order does not work to her benefit, she is trying to threaten going back to court and sticking us with all of the legal costs.

    Question: Will the court order that she can have the daughter on our weekend?
    Thanks!
    If it was me, I would call the bluff. Before a motion, there would be a case conference. Additionally, I suspect that Father's Day would be long passed before they secured a motion date. In the alternative I would try to negotiate.

    Comment


    • #3
      Does your current court order not have a stipulation for Father/Mother's day? That seems to be pretty standard.

      I agree with monkamillion, you should tell her no and don't explain or make excuses. That just opens the door to arguments, then see what happens.

      Personally, I can't see any Judge allowing her to take the girl on Father's day without the Father's permission. Not to mention that the ex would have to file a motion to change which would not be an over-night thing.
      Last edited by Pharah; 04-26-2010, 12:32 PM. Reason: adding motion info

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      • #4
        Unless it is the child's own parent getting married, then nobody can trump a father on father's day. call the bluff.

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        • #5
          they could get an emergency motion

          if it is for vacation. That is what my ex's ex (can't believe I'm typing that)
          did when he tried to screw up their plans by not handing over the passport.
          He was given 24 hours notice of the motion. He capitulated (which he should have)!
          But just to warn, if you "call their bluff" they might do that. They might not win, but they could serve you so be ready.

          Comment


          • #6
            Ok thank you so much for the advise. We were planning on calling the bluff, because we figured that there was no way that it would get to court by the time father's day weekend arrived. It is not her mother that is getting married, it is her mother's half sister who is getting married. It is not for vacation, it is for a wedding in town.

            If she does file for a motion, we would also like to file for a motion to ammend the current custody arrangement because my husband's daugther has stated many times to us that she wants to live one week at our house, and one week with her mother (especially now, because she has a baby sister at our house), but I think that at 10 years old, she's too young to have her own lawyer and make that decision, am I correct?

            Comment


            • #7
              You can request that the office of the children's lawyer get involved to represent her interests, if needed.

              Comment


              • #8
                Ok, so at 10 years old, a child can have their own lawyer, but does that mean that the court would listen to what she has to say, and make a decision regarding custody or access based on her wishes? Or will they simply say that she's too young to know what she wants?!
                I don't want to waste a whole bunch more money in court to be told that she's too young to know what she wants.....

                Thanks!

                Comment


                • #9
                  the OCL doesn't cost you anything, but the motion for custody will. I would leave that one for now until you have the Father's day thing worked out. That is the pressing issue.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Are you relatively close to each other? Is there anyway possible that you split the day?
                    I was asked to change mother's day to saturday to accommodate my ex having daughter on his sundays....

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by monksamillion View Post
                      Ok, so at 10 years old, a child can have their own lawyer, but does that mean that the court would listen to what she has to say, and make a decision regarding custody or access based on her wishes? Or will they simply say that she's too young to know what she wants?!
                      I don't want to waste a whole bunch more money in court to be told that she's too young to know what she wants.....

                      Thanks!
                      Are the orders final?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Yes, we have a final court order (dated a couple of years ago...), but we would like to motion for an ammendment based on changes in the circumstances (i.e. the birth of a sibling, and my step daughter stating many times that she wants to live one week with her mom, one week with us....)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by monksamillion View Post
                          Yes, we have a final court order (dated a couple of years ago...), but we would like to motion for an ammendment based on changes in the circumstances (i.e. the birth of a sibling, and my step daughter stating many times that she wants to live one week with her mom, one week with us....)
                          A good read on material change and 2 part threshold which the onus rests with you to demonstrate:

                          Supreme Court of Canada - Decisions - Gordon v. Goertz


                          before section 24 can be enumerated. See Section 29.

                          Children's Law Reform Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank you logicalvelocity, for your information and reading materials! I will review this some more...

                            The more I read, the more I feel that we should probably go for it now, because the mother is enrolled in University, and does not have time to care for my step daughter. My mother in law (the child's paternal grandmother) cares for her at least 2x per week, as does the maternal grandmother, not to mention that my step daughter has mentioned many times that she has had to make her own dinner at night because her mom is too busy doing essays and studying. My husband was laid off for an entire year, and wrote on numerous occassions in the "communicaton book" that he is available to care for his daughter at a moments notice, but his ex refuses to call him, using neighbours, friends and other relatives as a source of childcare... anyone but the father apparently!
                            I am so glad you have provided these links for us!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              a question regarding section 29... we had this with our original court order... we had an assessment done, and the assessment was in favour of sole custody to the mother, with reasonable access with us (although, the mother fought for less access with us, and she won because we had invested too much money to go to a trial for 3 more hours a week...)... HOWEVER, we found out after the final court order that a good friend of the mother's actually works in the office and is friends with the man who did our assessment... which makes sense, because we could tell that he was biased right from our first meeting with him. We had a meeting with our lawyer at the time, before our third and final visit with the social worker, and suggested that he seemed very biased, and we feared that he would side with the mother... anything that we said in our meetings he wrote in the report that the mother denied, and therefore was not true... our lawyer told us that we had to complete the assessment... we could not put our finger on why he was so hostile towards us from the word go... and like I mentioned above, it all makes sense now that we know that a good friend of my husband's ex works with him, in the same office. I feel like it was a conflict of interest... so since we have already had an assessment done, can we still motion the court to make changes??
                              Thanks so much!

                              Comment

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