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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #51  
Old 02-05-2020, 04:35 PM
MjD MjD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Most agreements arenít sustainable as kids grow. Are you going to demand extra time when your kids get jobs? When they decide to go away with friends? Donít use unsustainable as an excuse at it wonít work.


She doesnt have to accommodate your work schedule. You work on your time, that is your choice.



Judge will tell you are petty and wasting court time.



The only thing you have a chance at is pa days.




Petty. See above.

You are working. You would let the kids sit with a sitter just to mess with your ex? Thatís really stupid.
Very costly to possibly just get P.A days. Doesn't judge even consider the fact that I only have my children 15% of the time? Can't really build a bond on 15% access time with your children? At what age can kids decide who they want to spend time with and can decide on my access weekend that they don't want to spend time with dad or vice versa?

If I decide to enroll my kids in extra-curricular activities in my city is it mandatory for my ex to drive the distance on her weekends to take them to these activities?

How do I deal with these issues without going back to court?
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  #52  
Old 02-05-2020, 04:49 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MjD View Post
Very costly to possibly just get P.A days. Doesn't judge even consider the fact that I only have my children 15% of the time? Can't really build a bond on 15% access time with your children? At what age can kids decide who they want to spend time with and can decide on my access weekend that they don't want to spend time with dad or vice versa?



How do I deal with these issues without going back to court?


You agreed to this schedule. This is an ongoing statement in this forumóalways start at 50/50, donít give away your job as a parent. That was your problem. You canít suddenly decide that hey you want more time so you can get it. When you are dealing with an unreasonable person you canít change it.

Your ex is following the agreement partially. As far as the activities are concerned, you are technically spending time with your kids while they participate in an activity. If you have a pd day off work you can ask but she doesnít have to agree.

Unfortunately this is the reality of family law for every other weekend parents. As your kids get older they may start wanting to spend more time with you and you can offer to pick them up for work etc. but for now you are at the mercy of your ex.

Best advice? Play nice. Donít fight with her. Offer additional support (not financial) to help with the kids but without being a pushover.
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  #53  
Old 02-05-2020, 05:12 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Sorry to say but Rockscan is right... you signed away your rights as an equal parent when you agreed to only 15% parenting time. My husband is in the same situation. Driving your kids to activities IS spending time with them, youíre supporting your children in something they enjoy, you get to talk in the car... why do you think this isnít spending time together?

My step daughter is 11... this past weekend she was to be with us... but she had a friends bday party she really wanted to go to... so guess what... she went to the party instead of coming to our place. It super sucks to not see her but itís also important she is able to participate in social activities with her friends.


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  #54  
Old 02-05-2020, 05:17 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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My husband chose to move several hours away from his kids. We have busted our butts figuring out times to see and spend time with them. His agreement said all the same thingsóother times as agreed upon, no one will prevent him from taking them on vacation etc. His ex whittled down the time and played the ďthey have livesĒ card and he fought tooth and nail. All the fighting did was upset the kids who didnít want to see him. It was a hard pill to swallow but he did.

We get it. Its a terrible situation but there is little you can do.
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