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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-10-2010, 01:30 AM
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rustedinnocence rustedinnocence is offline
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Default hard call.... what to do?

well he's gone and done it again!
i found more drugs in the house tonight.....big baggie of pot....
a large amount for one person actually.
and there were some little white pills and a vile of oil.
sooooooooooooooo
what to do???
last time i found some, i flushed it down the toilette... seems like the message never got across
BUT
if i call the cops, and it's in MY house (as we both still live there even though I'm never hardly ever there) can they charge me with possession?
I don't do drugs...never have.... could i let them take a blood test to show that? Would i have to wait to be proven not guilty (I'm leaving the country for a week shortly... could it effect that?)
ack...what a spot he puts me in.... i can't wait to be rid of this drama in life for good!!!
should i just flush it again?
anyone have experience with this"?
OMG i hope my lawyer hurries up with helping me get out of there....

Last edited by rustedinnocence; 11-10-2010 at 01:32 AM.
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Old 11-10-2010, 02:09 AM
Roni Roni is offline
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It would be good to have a Police report on file
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:18 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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when my ex husband was doing it I called the police to ask some questions. I did it from a pay phone and did not give any details that could id him or me. I was told that a person in that situation would be charged, even if I had nothing to do with it, also because it was happening under the same roof. I would have been charged because I had knowledge of it and did not stop it. Sort of damned if you do, damned if you doen't type of situation.

If you are hardly there then I would just let it be. By flushing it you could piss him off considering you said it is more then last time. The only thing I can suggest is talk to your lawyer and get them to talk to the police on your behalf.

Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 11-10-2010 at 06:53 AM.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:34 AM
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You're in one heck of a rock and hard place with that one. If you report him you will pay to because it's in your home. If you throw it out / flush it he could react badly to it and freak out, causing so many more issues for you and your family. There could be a couple possible routes to take though but they depend on your situation... mainly do you have children and if so then are they living with you?
If no children then I would turn a blind eye towards it until you leave as there is not much more you can do. Unfortunately you can't prove they are his and not yours.
If you have children in the home then I would toss the cr*p and handle whatever happens afterwards...
Just word of caution since again I don't know what your situation is like, have a bag packed in the back of a closet somewhere in your home that he isn't likely to ever notice/ find. I know it may sound a little dramatic but if you need to make a swift exit it's better to be prepared. Drugs can change someone and if he gets strung out while at home with you things could go bad or if you get rid of the stuff it could to. Just make sure you are prepared and safe as there is nothing else you can do.
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Old 11-10-2010, 10:09 AM
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Mama's advice is valid and very good. While you may not be in an abusive relationship, you need to remember that that level of drug use puts you in danger, since he is not going to be able to think rationally if he's high. Having a bag packed with your id (passport, birth certificate Sin card etc), some basic toiletries, change of clothes and important paperwork (marriage certificate, house deed etc) is basic safety planning. I highly recommend it, JIC. Even better if you can leave all this at a friends or in your car.

Knowing all that, I still question why you need to stay in the home. I would bring this important info to a lawyer and get advice. Some pictures of the drugs would be good too, just in case you want to apply for exclusive possession.
  #6  
Old 11-10-2010, 11:03 AM
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i phoned my lawyers office this morning... the receptionist put me on hold and found out from a criminal lawyer that YES I CAN BE CHARGED TOO....
She told me to take pictures.
I have a phone conference with my lawyer in a half hour....and I am going to be sure she knows that I NEED OUT OF THERE ....
Will update on what the lawyer says I should do.....
It is terrible that HE chooses this stuff and I can get in trouble for it.... he makes me so angry!
Thank you for the great advice... I have clothes at friends already and a bag in the trunk... all my important docs have been removed and are at work...
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Old 11-10-2010, 05:23 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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i feel for you. I did not do drugs either and to find out that I could be charged was a kick in the head. I would have paid a price for what he was doing wrong meanwhile I could not stop him by turning him in. Tell me where is the justice in that??
  #8  
Old 11-10-2010, 06:09 PM
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i am really believing the legal system is not justice....arg.....
my lawyer - keeping up with seems to be the norm, never manage to have a phone consult with me... another 'emergency' she had to tend to....
but the receptionist booked me in for monday.... when i asked her what to do with the drugs again, she said take pictures... WELL THAT ISN'T GOING TO SECURE MY WELL BEING AND INNOCENCE... ohhhhh i'd like to rip something off of my ex and whack my lawyer over the head with it!!!
....now on monday she wants me to let her know what i am willing to settle for and send another offer and if i need any suggestions i am to ask for them to be sent.... WHAT THE HELL.... if i knew what i was doing and what to ask for in an offer then why do i need a lawyer??? Sorry,,, i know i'm b!tching but im really frustrated and fed up beyond belief.... what is the sense in being honest and real when you get sh!t on for it.... ug

Last edited by rustedinnocence; 11-10-2010 at 06:26 PM.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:10 PM
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Indeed, definite dramatic situation.
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