Help ! Where to go from here...

[jlalex]

I'll try to give a quick rundown of where we stand now. My husbands ex no longer has a lawyer. A date for a settlement conference was supposed to be set by end of September, but ex's lawyer booked a trial management conference ( not sure why as we had only had a case conference up til that point), as soon as the judge saw that we haven't progressed far he told the ex that they had to have all documentation submitted to the court in three business days. They complied more or less.

So now she has no representation, still owes her ex-lawyer money, a settlement conference date hasn't been set yet. We sent intake forms to the OCL, ( twice, the first time she didn't bother, the second time the judge told her to have it in and the magistrate would send it), that was back in September and we haven't heard anything as of yet. I imagine the OCL will be a bit of a difficult thing to organize as we live 400 kms away from my husbads son.

In the meantime their son has missed 30 + days of school so far this school year. She gave a lame excuse that he didn't have winter boots so therefore he couldn't go yet she just got him an Xbox 360 with an online subscription. We haven't recieved his report card yet, though we are expecting it within the next week.

The ex is a very poorly managed diabetic who is receiving disability. She has been in and out of hospitals over the years. The judge ordered her to submit the last 3 years of her medical records, we've only received one so far, but even that was quite disturbing as her own doctor said he prognoisis was not good due to her non-compliance with treatment and daily management.

And while all of this is going on, their son who is 12 is saying he doesn't want to come live here, all the sudden he doesn't like me, doesn't like his step brothers and says he is afraid of his Dad, which he has no reason as his Dad has never laid a hand on him and the only time he's ever raised his voice is when the son did something to get in trouble.

We've spent 15,000 so far and this is as far as we have gotten. Plus we will have to shell out for another retainer as we need to retain a lawyer in the area where the son resides.

Is there anything we can do or are we at her mercy waiting for her to get around to it? Our lawyer says until we get the rest of the medical records and their sons school records she is reluctant to try for interim custody. Does this sound right to you?

It is so frustrating waiting for something to happen and it seems as if no one is willing to make a move. Isn't there something we can do to get this going in a forward direction???

My husband is about ready to give up, his son doesn't want to see him, rarely calls and never returns phone messages. We don't know how much of this is coming from him or the ex. On one hand we feel like we are doing the right thing, he needs guidance and structure and displine, yet on the other hand he is being manipulative and doesn't seem to give a damn about his Dad.

Please any thoughts or help will be greatly appreciated...we just don't know what to do anymore.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

I suggest that dad go directly to the school for the school records as this is his right given he has access and as such does not need the Ex's or anyone’s permission to do so.

As for the medical records, if you have an order or judges written recommendations for release I'd send a formal letter, include the order/written judges notes to the treating physician and request that the required information be released and clearly indicate what has been provided to date and what remains outstanding.

You can forge forward once this has been accomplished.
It is unfortunate that the ex has no legal representation however, if you feel this is indeed an urgent matter I'd bring it before the court as such and clearly outline the urgency. IE The child’s obvious failing grades and need for structure etc, despite his newly developed "hate" it does not relinquish a parent’s responsibility to care for and do what "is" in the best interests of a child. And although the courts will hear his statements, since he's 12, they still need to understand a child of 12 should not be permitted to decide such adult matters since they will have a profound affect on his future if he were allow to do so.

[logicalvelocity]

It appears you have a material change of circumstance on your hands. The court will definitely infer the other parent's conduct for not co-operating with the OCL and complete an intake considering such was ordered by the court. If it was me, I would secure and schedule a settlement conference and address the issues.

lv