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  • Custody/Access/Support/Medical/Dental/Schooling...

    Without getting into a detailed history, we (Bio Dad and Step-Mommy to a 6 Year Old Son and 3 Year Old Daughter) have been dealing with motions, hearings and orders for over a year now and over the past 6 months were awarded interim custody of 6YOS and 3YOD.

    Our next court date is to set out a final order for custody and residency (children currently reside with us, 6YOS attends school in our area, 3YOD is being enrolled for September and Bio Mom sees children every second weekend - no overnight stays with her, as we await medical records, as they pertain to past and present mental health issues - so we have a little over 95% custody at the moment - but no support orders in place) and also to set the agenda and date for all other matters (as we understand it, this is where we get into the financial aspects) to finally go to trial.

    For those of you who are currently (or have in the past, been) involved in such Family Law Matters, what orders and/or restrictions did you ask the court to endorse, as they pertain to Custody/Access/Support/Medical/Dental/Schooling/Extra Curricular Activities? I'm sure there are items we're overlooking and that is precisely why we are here!

    This site is a wealth of information and we feel very fortunate to have an opportunity to be members of this community. However, due to our time constraints, we couldn't possibly review all the relevant threads and so we thought we'd jump right in and query our fellow forum users!

    Please hit us up with any suggestions or experiences that might be relevant to our case!

    Thank you all in advance!

  • #2
    There is no way to say anything relevent to your case without understanding the issues of your case.

    You need to review the Family Law Act, the Child Support Guidelines and especially review Section 7 expenses within the guidelines and then ask specific questions about anything you don't understand.

    What can I say about Custody for example? You have custody, you must have a reason, if you want to keep that level you have to delineate reasons and factual evidence to support the reasons in your court argument. Without knowing the reasons I can't comment.

    Court ordered support is standard according to the Child Support Guidelines. Read them.

    Medical, dental, child care, sports and post secondary education are generally considered Section 7 expenses (read section 7 of the Child Support Guidelines) and should be self explanatory.

    If you want an exception to the Family Law Act or the Guidelines you have to show a reason. Same thing if your ex does. Without knowing the reasons, no one here can comment knowledgably.

    The level of access you describe is reasonable and not out of line with many families. If the other party seeks to change it, they are arguing with Status Quo, which carries a lot of weight. They have to show why, logical reasons with factual evididence to back up the reasons. This isn't easy.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks Mess!

      Okay, so scratch 'relevant to our case'. We simply meant relevant to the stage we are at in our case and not necessarily due to any particular circumstances of our case.

      Although we have already read through the Family Law Act, we will review, as per your suggestion. Thank you for the direction Mess!

      To clarify:
      We're wondering if anyone has been through/is going through custody trials, where orders were not standard? If you could amend an order, what would you do/have done differently?

      To elaborate, below are some examples of orders we have found through our research and reading, to be unusual, but thought provoking, nonetheless:

      1. Custodial party had the courts endorse an order, unto X party, restricting travel while having the children in his/her care. The order contained specifics as to a travel radius from X's residence, zero tolerance for cross border (Provincial) travel and a special inclusion that stated that the children were to spend overnights in their own beds, at X's home (when such access was granted). Again, restricting travel activities, during these access visitations. This order was placed on the party with the limited access, resulting of discussions that involved 'taking off' with the children.

      2. Custodial party had a clause entered into their agreement that stated, should X not be available to parent the children, for a period of 4 hours or more, custodial parent was to be contacted to make arrangements for their care (either to pick them up and take them unto their own care, or to place the children into the care of family/friends/daycare, whom the children were accustomed to spending time). This was in a situation where custodial parent was court ordered to allow X access visitations and although X demanded these visitations continue, X was not assuming their parenting role and rather than spending the limited time they had with their children, the children were being used as pawns and not benefiting from the access that had been arranged and so this clause was included, to protect the children and allow the custodial parent a right to intervene, also (IMO) encouraging X party to assume a more involved parenting role, or be met with a harsher consequence.

      These are the types of things that wouldn't normally be in an order (to my understanding) and which we are most interested in receiving your comments on.

      Comment


      • #4
        If you are requesting sole custody, then there's not much more to say about medical/dental/education/religion -- i.e. YOU have final say about these. Unless you want to open the door a bit to indicate you will request her input and keep her informed. Or perhaps there are some decisions that you already agree on and want to formalize, e.g. 'no religion'.

        It seems that your big issue is the access, because perhaps her current health issues may be treatable (or could worsen), and you would like to keep the door open to her having as much contact as possible ... keeping in mind the kids' best interests. So currently she has little contact, with some restrictions (though not supervised). Perhaps you could indicate that the access schedule will be reviewed in 6 and 12 months if there is a significant change in her capabilities.

        Child support can just be referred to the support guidelines - including extracurriculars/medical/dental/education. Perhaps a note indicating that the amount will be automatically updated each June according to the amount shown on the NOA for previous year.

        If you have concerns about your ex 'taking off' or not respecting dropoff times, then include a police enforcement order.

        Mobility-Residence
        - no point on limiting where your ex lives - if she moves away, then she's deciding not to be involved. Indicate that any increase in access costs will be borne by your ex if she decides to move away.
        - more touchy is how do YOU agree to be limited.

        Mobility-Travel
        - decide on what travel she will be permitted (out of city? out of province? out of country?), and how often (i.e. how many vacation periods - that's really part of the access schedule). There needs to be a pretty clear flight-risk in order to bar travel outright.
        - decide on protocol for requesting/delivering consent letters for travel, and passport applications/safekeeping
        - each parent to notify the other of location/phone# if child will be overnighting away from home

        Extracurriculars - just indicate that neither parent will make plans that affect the other parent's access time without prior agreement. Possibly a note that both parents may attend team practices/events, regardless of who has access at the time.
        Last edited by dinkyface; 02-04-2011, 07:28 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you for taking the time to explain in such detail! Greatly appreciated! Some good points to consider! This is just the type of reading we had hoped for, as it helps us to think outside of the box!

          Comment


          • #6
            tough condition to apply or enforce

            Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
            - each parent to notify the other of location/phone# if child will be overnighting away from home
            The courts have taken to NOT applying this in orders because of the additional court and enforcement time when parents use it against the other. Instead, they are more inclined to add a clause "providing the itinerary of the child when the parent is travelling with the child for a period of more than * days"

            I have seen parents attempt contempt charges for not getting a call about a slumber party or an overnight at Gramma's...nobody wants that.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thanks InterprovincialParents! Good to have your input on this, as well!

              Comment

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