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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-05-2019, 09:05 AM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Default Threats and blackmail (long)

My ex has now been gone for 2 months. We are no further ahead with the separation agreement and house than we were 2 months ago. After dozens of emails saying he knows he has no claim to the house and doesn't want it, he's refusing to sign the VERY BASIC separation agreement that says he won't take the house. Not because of the house, but because it says we're separated and has standard clauses about being separated. He said if I take out everything having do with being separated, he'll sign. The bank and real estate lawyer said that it has to be a separation agreement! I've told him a dozen times!

So after not having any contact with him for over a week, he emailed me on Sunday night asking why I haven't responded to him dropping the signed papers off onto my porch on Thursday. My son was home all day long and no one was here. My dogs would have gone nuts if someone had come onto the porch. He's clearly lying. When I told him I had received nothing, he turned it on me and told ME to stop lying. Yes, I've been asking for signed papers for two months, yet when I get them, I deny it.

So when I got pissed off and said I don't lie, I again stopped responding. An hour later, he invited me to go out to dinner with him and said if I did, he would sign on the spot. So, I resent the agreement via email and said that once he signs, to send it registered mail to the address I had originally provided, addressed to my lawyer. I said we do not need to meet in person in order for him to do this. He also sent texts to my kids and told my son that the separation agreement had "lots of surprises" and he couldn't sign, so blame his mother for this. My son got mad and texted him that until he signs, OSAP is withholding his money, based on two incomes. Keep in mind these are not his children. They are MY children. He has a 21 year old son, who has told him to never contact him again, so now he's harassing my kids and saying I'm turning them against him!

Then I got ANOTHER email where he says I take him for an idiot and he has options and I could have done it the easy way but now I'm making it difficult on myself. He went on to say that he's going to get in touch my kids' biological father (who abused them) and he's going to "set shit straight". Said it would be shame to have to pay back my spousal support that was court ordered.

He's nuts. The cocaine has fried his brain. His oldest brother told me he's always been a liar and that's why his two older brothers no longer speak to him. I assume this is why his son no longer speaks to him. He also told me information that my husband had lied about when we met. Information that had I known, I never would have even dated him, much less married him.

My ex told me he has no money to pay his rent or feed himself and to take pity on him because his landlord "ran out of patience" and is evicting him. Meanwhile, I find out he's been living with his youngest brother for free.

I've asked him to stop contacting me completely. I've told him to stop contacting my kids completely. We have no kids together, so there is no reason I have to allow him to call, email or text me. If I ask him to stop and he continues to create new email accounts to get past my blocking his email, can this be considered harassment? I actually ended up in the ER last week for several hours because of stress induced symptoms that were mimicking a heart attack. I can't take much more. Yesterday he emailed me six times.
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  #2  
Old 11-05-2019, 11:07 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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You need to put him on ignore and stop reading or answering him.

You also need to have your lawyer file the paperwork to move to divorce. Heís not going to sign voluntarily. Stop expecting him to do anything without grief. Get it moving and put it right in the paperwork that you want costs.

As long as you respond to him you will continue to get this response. Delete his emails, block everything, tell your kids to stop responding. When it is all done, speak to the police about a restraining order. He will move on to another victim.
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Old 11-05-2019, 02:51 PM
backinthesaddle backinthesaddle is offline
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Default Osap

OSAP doesnít need a separation agreement. I filled out the application and my son gets OSAP. Just fill it out as separated.
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Old 11-05-2019, 03:52 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by backinthesaddle View Post
OSAP doesnít need a separation agreement. I filled out the application and my son gets OSAP. Just fill it out as separated.
He had already filled it in back in April and when he told them the circumstances had changed, they said he needed a copy of the agreement or a letter from CRA, which I won't be able to get until he's been gone 90 days.

I have blocked him on everything but I worry he'll keep making up new emails. I have a divorce coach working with me pro bono, so I hope she can be of some help. He's insane.
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Old 11-05-2019, 04:14 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
You need to put him on ignore and stop reading or answering him.

You also need to have your lawyer file the paperwork to move to divorce. Heís not going to sign voluntarily. Stop expecting him to do anything without grief. Get it moving and put it right in the paperwork that you want costs.

As long as you respond to him you will continue to get this response. Delete his emails, block everything, tell your kids to stop responding. When it is all done, speak to the police about a restraining order. He will move on to another victim.
I don't think the police will help. When he was living here, I even showed them a text where he "jokingly" said he was plotting my murder. They said they couldn't help. I have said outright that I do not want him to communicate with any of us, so I'm hoping that would be grounds for harassment if he continues.

I have dozens of and dozens of his emails saying he will never try and take my house and how he has no right to it. I really hope it won't look good to a judge that he clearly is going after it out of spite because I wouldn't go out to dinner with him. The cocaine has clearly fried his rationality. He would just snort my money he got any of it. I'm also waiting for the police lab report from a tiny baggie of a powdered white substance that was mailed the house in MY name shortly after he left. I believe he was ordering it under my name in case it was discovered
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Old 11-05-2019, 04:18 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Unless he is a threat to your safety then ignore. As difficult as that seems, its not. You should know the people who normally contact you by email so dont open anything from anyone else. Or you can open a completely new email address and use that one going forward.

Like we have all said before, once he stops getting a reaction he will move on. Donít give him what he wants. I tell my husband this all the time. There is absolutely no need for you to think about him so donít. He doesnít want to sign the paperwork? File a motion. He wants to blast you with ďspamĒ? Ignore. Tell your kids to ignore and block.
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  #7  
Old 11-05-2019, 04:56 PM
backinthesaddle backinthesaddle is offline
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I was reading your post and thought I wrote it for a minute. We have the same ex. Iíve just spent 5k for nothing. He has a lawyer that is a paper front man only. So isnít being honest with him about the law. Ex wants an agreement but only under his terms. He gets everything. Lol. The OSAP issue is upsetting because is impacts your son. Email him and specifically say you do not want him to contact you in any way unless it is through lawyers. Once he begins to email you repeatedly it is criminal harassment. If you keep replying it isnít. Once you engage it is implied consent. If he threatens to cause you bodily harm or death and it is specific then this is threats. Anything else is not considered a criminal threat. A threat maybe perceived by you but not criminal. Just document everything. If it continues then go to police with your evidence.
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