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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 01-30-2015, 10:40 PM
divorcing mama divorcing mama is offline
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Default Ways to prevent abusing child support

I am putting a general question out there,

For the moms and dads out there that are dealing with child supports, what is it a good system that you have found to preserve the child support strictly be used for the child- instead of paying your ex spouses' new purse/ saturday night dinner etc....

If the child is equally shared between two households and both parents have ways to support themselves and the child when with them, it doesn't make sense one still needs to pay for the other- either dad or mom. Especially in the situation when one parent decides not to work and therefore can get half of the parenting time, and collecting a cheque from the other parent--> isn't it too easy for the equal parenting time become a way to make money from the other parent?- both genders considered. Also in situation one wealthy parent ( eg: have a rich parents to support him or her) decides to stop work or become less "productive" in their job, he or she can pretty much sit back and relaxed and wait for the poor parent to support them?


I have heard some parents deposit child support into the child's bank account and save it for the child's education. This way the money is in neither parents hands and there will be no concern of how the money will be spent one day since by the child is 18, he will have a say in how to use the money. Do people out there actually do this?


Any comment?
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Old 01-30-2015, 10:52 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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Hahahahhaha
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Old 01-31-2015, 07:48 AM
Serene Serene is offline
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Oh dear....
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Old 01-31-2015, 09:30 AM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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For all intents and purposes CS recipients can do whatever they want with the money. As far as the payor is concerned it is money flushed down the toilet. The only time you might be able to complain if the children are malnourished or unclothed and even then they might blame you for not paying enough HAHAHA.. A lot of "single mother's" budgets are 50%+ made up of child support and government handouts

Last edited by Links17; 01-31-2015 at 10:02 AM.
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Old 01-31-2015, 09:53 AM
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mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
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I couldn't imagine going out on a Saturday night without one of my many Gucci bags.
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Old 01-31-2015, 10:19 AM
BitHunter BitHunter is offline
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f*ck yeah.....

I might be able to add a bit more constructive opinion when my ex magically will be mentally healthy enough to find and keep a basic, minimal wage job and she won't rely on the child support to feed herself.
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Old 01-31-2015, 11:40 AM
Beachnana Beachnana is offline
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The system advocates for the child. Or at least that is its intention. The system assumes that thenparents - both of them - want what is best for the child.

So CS is the inherit right of the child and is intended to be used for the childs needs.

So in a perfect world. 2 parents use that money to cloth, house, entertain and feed their child. Both parents would contribute to make sure the child has appropriate clothing etc etc.

Now the real world

No one likes giving money to someone they no longer love, like care for etc. Everyone wants to control things
Many CS payors are cashed strapped
Many CS receipents view the support received as their money

Etc etc etc.

In reality this is how the real world works!
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Old 01-31-2015, 06:34 PM
divorcing mama divorcing mama is offline
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That's why I am asking people who have deal with such issue- is there any good mechanism to avoid court but also work out a fair, hassle-less agreement, assuming that both parties have the good intention to keep the conflict low.


what about the idea of putting the money into the child's bank account?
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Old 01-31-2015, 06:44 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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You can do anything both agree on.

But the money is for ongoing support of the child as they grow. Not for the child when they are 18. So putting it in the bank is not in the child's best interests.

Can you see anyone actually agreeing to that? No. Then it is not a solution.

A big reason for divorce is that 2 people cannot agree how to spend money. So why should there be any control granted (over spending in the other household) after divorce?

Low conflict comes from both people being educated on what the courts will enforce, accepting it, and following it (because anything else is throwing away money on lawyers). Unfortunately people don't work that way.
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Old 02-01-2015, 12:20 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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There is no mechanism which allows the payor parent to monitor the recipients expenses or otherwise entitles them to a breakdown of expenses. The parents are divorced/separated or otherwise not together. I can see no good reason to allow one parent such an intrusion on the other parents life.

If the children are improperly clothed or malnourished, you call CAS to investigate and seek custody if they deem the other parent unfit.

But C/S is more than just for the needs of the child, it is supposed to also provide some sort of balance to household incomes. I don't agree with this, as it is a form of spousal support (especially considering I was never married to my ex). But it is what it is.

Could you imagine the outrage from women's groups if this were implemented? They would scream bloody murder about allowing abusers to continue to abuse their ex by extending this link through the children. They would, quite rightly, call it a one-sided invasion of privacy.

Would I like to see some sort of accounting from my ex? Not really. My child is well taken care of. Do I think I over pay based on what my child really needs? Yeah, I do. I don't see why my ex needs ~$750 for a 9y/o a month (plus s7 expenses). I feel I am paying a lot of her mortgage. But at the end of the day my kid is well taken care of and I understand what sort of an intrusion such an accounting would be. My ex would be furious if she constantly had to account her spending to me. It would have only dragged out acrimony longer than it already lasted.
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