Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Ways to prevent abusing child support

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Ways to prevent abusing child support

    I am putting a general question out there,

    For the moms and dads out there that are dealing with child supports, what is it a good system that you have found to preserve the child support strictly be used for the child- instead of paying your ex spouses' new purse/ saturday night dinner etc....

    If the child is equally shared between two households and both parents have ways to support themselves and the child when with them, it doesn't make sense one still needs to pay for the other- either dad or mom. Especially in the situation when one parent decides not to work and therefore can get half of the parenting time, and collecting a cheque from the other parent--> isn't it too easy for the equal parenting time become a way to make money from the other parent?- both genders considered. Also in situation one wealthy parent ( eg: have a rich parents to support him or her) decides to stop work or become less "productive" in their job, he or she can pretty much sit back and relaxed and wait for the poor parent to support them?


    I have heard some parents deposit child support into the child's bank account and save it for the child's education. This way the money is in neither parents hands and there will be no concern of how the money will be spent one day since by the child is 18, he will have a say in how to use the money. Do people out there actually do this?


    Any comment?

  • #2
    Hahahahhaha

    Comment


    • #3
      Oh dear....

      Comment


      • #4
        For all intents and purposes CS recipients can do whatever they want with the money. As far as the payor is concerned it is money flushed down the toilet. The only time you might be able to complain if the children are malnourished or unclothed and even then they might blame you for not paying enough HAHAHA.. A lot of "single mother's" budgets are 50%+ made up of child support and government handouts
        Last edited by Links17; 01-31-2015, 11:02 AM.

        Comment


        • #5
          I couldn't imagine going out on a Saturday night without one of my many Gucci bags.
          Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

          Comment


          • #6
            f*ck yeah.....

            I might be able to add a bit more constructive opinion when my ex magically will be mentally healthy enough to find and keep a basic, minimal wage job and she won't rely on the child support to feed herself.

            Comment


            • #7
              The system advocates for the child. Or at least that is its intention. The system assumes that thenparents - both of them - want what is best for the child.

              So CS is the inherit right of the child and is intended to be used for the childs needs.

              So in a perfect world. 2 parents use that money to cloth, house, entertain and feed their child. Both parents would contribute to make sure the child has appropriate clothing etc etc.

              Now the real world

              No one likes giving money to someone they no longer love, like care for etc. Everyone wants to control things
              Many CS payors are cashed strapped
              Many CS receipents view the support received as their money

              Etc etc etc.

              In reality this is how the real world works!

              Comment


              • #8
                That's why I am asking people who have deal with such issue- is there any good mechanism to avoid court but also work out a fair, hassle-less agreement, assuming that both parties have the good intention to keep the conflict low.


                what about the idea of putting the money into the child's bank account?

                Comment


                • #9
                  You can do anything both agree on.

                  But the money is for ongoing support of the child as they grow. Not for the child when they are 18. So putting it in the bank is not in the child's best interests.

                  Can you see anyone actually agreeing to that? No. Then it is not a solution.

                  A big reason for divorce is that 2 people cannot agree how to spend money. So why should there be any control granted (over spending in the other household) after divorce?

                  Low conflict comes from both people being educated on what the courts will enforce, accepting it, and following it (because anything else is throwing away money on lawyers). Unfortunately people don't work that way.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    There is no mechanism which allows the payor parent to monitor the recipients expenses or otherwise entitles them to a breakdown of expenses. The parents are divorced/separated or otherwise not together. I can see no good reason to allow one parent such an intrusion on the other parents life.

                    If the children are improperly clothed or malnourished, you call CAS to investigate and seek custody if they deem the other parent unfit.

                    But C/S is more than just for the needs of the child, it is supposed to also provide some sort of balance to household incomes. I don't agree with this, as it is a form of spousal support (especially considering I was never married to my ex). But it is what it is.

                    Could you imagine the outrage from women's groups if this were implemented? They would scream bloody murder about allowing abusers to continue to abuse their ex by extending this link through the children. They would, quite rightly, call it a one-sided invasion of privacy.

                    Would I like to see some sort of accounting from my ex? Not really. My child is well taken care of. Do I think I over pay based on what my child really needs? Yeah, I do. I don't see why my ex needs ~$750 for a 9y/o a month (plus s7 expenses). I feel I am paying a lot of her mortgage. But at the end of the day my kid is well taken care of and I understand what sort of an intrusion such an accounting would be. My ex would be furious if she constantly had to account her spending to me. It would have only dragged out acrimony longer than it already lasted.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      There doesn't need to be constant accounting. It could be done once every 5 years for example. There could be an audit.... the government has an audit system for tax evasion.

                      If it WASN'T a form of spousal support there would be an audit which would uncover that in higher amounts of child support paid that the money wasn't going to the children and padding the mother's purse closet.

                      Ask yourself how they calculated "fair" child support amounts?

                      I really need to one day figure out how true this all is:
                      http://www.fact.on.ca/fin_supp/whatwerethey.pdf
                      Last edited by Links17; 02-01-2015, 06:14 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                        There doesn't need to be constant accounting. It could be done once every 5 years for example. There could be an audit.... the government has an audit system for tax evasion.

                        If it WASN'T a form of spousal support there would be an audit which would uncover that in higher amounts of child support paid that the money wasn't going to the children and padding the mother's purse closet.

                        Ask yourself how they calculated "fair" child support amounts?

                        I really need to one day figure out how true this all is:
                        http://www.fact.on.ca/fin_supp/whatwerethey.pdf
                        The FACT link is a touch old, one I read years ago. There was also another study done by more partial individuals who found as well that c/s included a form of wealth transfer or s/s.

                        Any audit, done at any time, would be deemed invasive. The last person I would want to have access to any of my financial information is my ex. And we are on good terms. There is a ton of stuff that is simply none of her business. We aren't together, my kid clothes, how she spends the extra that isn't otherwise needed for my child is irrelevant. I don't care. And I feel better about not having to care than I would if I did know.

                        And lets just say that there is an audit, and you did find out that your ex spent 80% of the money on purses and alcohol. Will that make you feel better? Or will that likely piss you off more? Do you think it will change anything and that you wouldn't have to continue to pay c/s the same way?

                        To me, not knowing is simpler. Our child is well taken care in both our homes. Knowing that I pay for 1/2 or a 1/3 or whatever of my ex's mortgage isn't going to make me feel better. In this case, ignorance is bliss.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The ex spouse doesn't do the audit, the government does it the same way they do tax audits.

                          The results of the audits (globally) could be used to reset the child support guidelines periodically.

                          This would be a logical course of action if it wasn't a wealth transfer/privatization of welfare.

                          I've always though your attitude is very resigned.... I agree on a personal level about not getting your panties in a twist but its important that the injustice is recognized at least as the ground work for a counter lobby to these things...

                          Something can be done about this, all these things are controlled by Money and I am sure there are enough very rich child support payors that don't like seeing their money being pissed down the drain by tramps they might have once been married to. Get a few of those big hitters to payroll a lobby and this could be resolved in about 5 years.
                          Last edited by Links17; 02-01-2015, 11:23 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Taxpayer intervention for a failed marriage (your proposed "audit" of CS)?

                            The only transfer payments that need to be scrutinized/reformed are provincial/federal transfer payments. An example would be the huge transfer payments made to the biggest welfare province in Canada - Quebec.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                              The ex spouse doesn't do the audit, the government does it the same way they do tax audits.

                              The results of the audits (globally) could be used to reset the child support guidelines periodically.

                              This would be a logical course of action if it wasn't a wealth transfer/privatization of welfare.

                              I've always though your attitude is very resigned.... I agree on a personal level about not getting your panties in a twist but its important that the injustice is recognized at least as the ground work for a counter lobby to these things...

                              Something can be done about this, all these things are controlled by Money and I am sure there are enough very rich child support payors that don't like seeing their money being pissed down the drain by tramps they might have once been married to. Get a few of those big hitters to payroll a lobby and this could be resolved in about 5 years.
                              So after these audits its found that the recepient actually spends more on the child than is covered by the CS.

                              Example. Parent A -payor and Parent B - recepient

                              A Pays $350 to B. So given B contributes $350 that is $700 per month

                              So now 15 year old boy
                              Clothes. $ 75 month. He is growing like crazy and wears out shoes fast
                              Food. $400 month he never stops eating
                              Phone. $50 month otherwise how does he contact you when he is late home
                              Entertainment $50 month. Movies, skiing etc
                              Portion of household expenses. $200. You need a home with a bedroom for him
                              School expense $40 month school trips supplies

                              And so on and so on.

                              So now Parent B actually spends more than CS. Does Parent A cough ip more money?

                              It is really impractical to suggest an audit of any kind.

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X