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  • #16
    Dating is a crapshoot. As people who have already gone through at least one failed relationship, we can now take that experience and narrow down our choices - weeding out those we know won't be a good fit. The silver lining to each failed relationship is that each time we can narrow down what we are looking for further, increasing our chances of success (as long as you commit to not repeating the same mistakes over and over, as many do).

    In the end though, it's still a roll of the dice. That's why some people get lucky the first time out and others roll a few snake eyes before finding the right person. Ultimately it becomes a test of endurance: how long are you willing to play before you either win or walk away from the table?

    For me, as hard as it might be some days, I'll probably keep trying. The only other option is to simply accept that you'll never find someone, and I'm not quite that tired or bitter... yet

    And for rykersprincess, I don't think it's necessarily a reflection of your ability to choose. I mean, it might be a factor obviously, but ultimately I think a lot of relationships sour for other reasons. You might have picked the perfect guy for you ... but people change, or we find out more about them, or we learn they haven't been truthful about themselves. We try to make the best choices we can but none of us have enough information early in a relationship to be 100% certain.

    Just try to be as certain as you can be and roll the dice. There is only so much we can control in the process.

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    • #17
      Trust, yep that is a big one, not that I have much of that left. It's tough to learn to give that to someone after you've lost it so completely, but perhaps with time, it can be re-learned.

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      • #18
        I am hoping too that when I am ready I will be able to find someone. How? I am not sure. When? Who knows... the one person I trusted implicitly left me for someone he met online. I am reading a lot and trying to see not only his mistakes but mine as well. I am hoping that I will find someone and not come off like a psycho about trust and actually be able to have a good relationship. I loved having a best friend that I could depend on and share my life with. I hope that when the time comes I am able to gamble again, hopefully I will see a good thing when it is there. Good luck to everyone... If having a partner is something you want... all you can do is try.

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        • #19
          I'm beginning to use the rules a single friend of mine has for dating:

          1. She has to have a full-time job.
          2. She has to be responsible for her own finances.
          3. She has to have her own transportation, or have the wherewithal to get around with needing a chauffeur.
          4. She has to get along with her own family.

          There are negotiables and deal-breakers outside of that, but the 4 rules are solid.

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