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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 09-06-2016, 04:23 PM
Busch Busch is offline
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Default What would you do?

Court order states Ex is to have EOW access to our kids. (kids are 8&10) Pick up will be no later than 8PM on Friday at a court ordered location. If 8PM cannot be met, ex is to pick up at my home Saturday morning at an agreed upon time.

Ex has a "new job" and states that he can only pick up at 9:30pm on Friday. When he picks up the kids he then travels 3.5 hours to get home. I believe that 9:30 is too late for pick up given the timely drive following. Am I within my right to ask the Ex to follow the court order? Or should I accommodate his request even though I feel that it is completely inappropriate?

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  #2  
Old 09-06-2016, 06:10 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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You could insist on following the order. Or meet halfway to make the drive time earlier. Or consider why it's too late for a friday night when the children don't have to get up early for school the next day. It's only twice a month so may noy be as big a deal as it initially seems when given some thoughtful consideration.
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Old 09-06-2016, 06:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
You could insist on following the order. Or meet halfway to make the drive time earlier. Or consider why it's too late for a friday night when the children don't have to get up early for school the next day. It's only twice a month so may noy be as big a deal as it initially seems when given some thoughtful consideration.
I'd suggest meeting halfway (or part of the way). That way the kids get to bed earlier at Dad's house, and it's only twice a month so it's not a major imposition on you. I'm not sure what would be gained by sticking to the order, other than possibly three extra hours of sleep per month for the kids, which isn't much.
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Old 09-06-2016, 06:59 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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He has a new job? Does this mean he will actually pay child support?

Off topic but I had to ask!
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Old 09-06-2016, 07:16 PM
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accommodate his request.... splitting hairs in the grand scheme of things.
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Old 09-06-2016, 07:31 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I think the missing point here is hes also going across the border with them at that hour. So its three hours across the border. If theres traffic or an issue then theyre sitting there at 10 pm.

I wouldnt sway from the order with him because hes one of those give them an inch and he will take a mile.

But then again, he doesnt always use his time.
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Old 09-07-2016, 12:04 AM
trinton trinton is offline
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Irritates me when parents take jobs that lessens their time with their kids.

You have 4 options really:

You could offer to do part of the driving and meet him halfway, and hopefully it won't become too much of a problem.

You could offer Saturday morning pickups, meeting him part way at 8 or 9:00 AM (he will have to get up early and drive).

You could agree to keep it at 9:30 PM.

You could stick with the current agreement and expect him to leave work early on Fridays.
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Old 09-12-2016, 09:27 AM
Busch Busch is offline
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Hi All,

I agree with you all. Not much harm in letting them take the time in the car...just hard to accept that my ex can still dictate to me what he wants
and how he plans on getting it. Completely ignoring a court order and all.

Rock: I have been told that he has new employment. I don't know where it is or what he is making. Child support is not a priority for him, never has been....but he managed to tell our kids this weekend that he pays me money every month for things like back to school clothes. (forgetting to let them know that he is over 7K in arrears) I would love to know where he is working....but I'm not sure I am allowed to ask. In due time karma will get him......I just hate waiting.

Thanks again all for your input. I have decided to not split hairs on this. I don't have to like the time....but at least they do get a chance to spend with their father.
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Old 09-12-2016, 10:02 AM
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You absolutely are allowed to ask. You can request financial disclosure annually so this would include his complete tax returns, all T slips / documentation of income and a letter from his employer confirming income if this is a new position.
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Old 09-12-2016, 10:09 AM
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You can ask for a letter from his employer especially if you are with a maintenance agency. And if hes in arrears they have to be able to recover that money.

If youre concerned about him ignoring the order then just tell him to follow it. You could do both in one correspondence. Dear ex, please provide details of your employers name and income information to me or FRO. With respect to your request for added time, once I receive the details on your employment I will be able to make an informed decision. Until then I would prefer to leave the situation according to the order in place."

How is it he can dictate to you but you get nothing but grief?

He also shouldnt be sharing financial info with the kids. If they dont ask him then he shouldnt be volunteering it.
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