Options please...

[Duped]

Earlier this year I signed my son up for a one week session at a summer camp, I did so prior to any knowledge of who's week in our alternating week schedule the summer camp week falls on. Now my ex has discovered that based on our summer schedule the session falls on one of her weeks of custody. She is refusing to let him attend the summer camp session claiming it would interfere with her plans. I should also note that our son has tried begging her to let him go, because he really wants to attend.

I have tried offering to switch weeks of custody, even giving extra weeks of custody to her in exchange for the week of the session, she is being unreasonable and refusing to allow our son to attend.

Is there any legal means that I can utilize to ensure that my child does not miss out on this opportunity?

Thanks

Duped

[logicalvelocity]

Duped,

you could bring forth a motion.

lv

[Divorcemanagement]

You could definitely bring forward a motion but get in line - this is one of the two busy periods at the courts and people are there for the same reasons you would be.

It's good that you made the offer, are there any other reasons why your former spouse opposes this? Is she going out of town for example?

[Duped]

always out of town.

My ex has no job and will be spending every week that she has custody at her parents house which is out of town.

What sort of motion would I ask for?

Should I ask for an exception to the current custody order granting that our son is to attend summer camp for the week he is registered for?

Thanks

Duped

[Decent Dad]

Yup. Unfortunately you will have to file a motion. They take at least 10 weeks. Your motion is fairly simple. If you were reasonable in offering alternate weeks, or extra time (you *may* have prove this) and unless your ex-wife is doing something that completely interferes with her plans, holdiays, travel arrangements, you should be successful.

Now... if I was your ex-wife I would be a little miffed. Why? I have to book vacation. And I also do things with my child that requires advanced planning and booking. So if my ex did that to me and then put the child in the middle, I would be a little ticked. But, like you said she is not working and you were generous in your offers.

May I suggest the following.

- get your schedules correct before doing ANY booking
- book only on your days (this is what I do... avoids nasty things like this)
- confirm any extra activities (since your ex may be paying her share)
- ask your ex to take him to camp... or is it a "Dad and me" camp?

Motions can be costly and time consuming (emtionally, etc). I have filed motions for:

- father's day
- christmas
- family functions
- travel
- enforce access
- etc, etc

They are a pain, but sometimes they are the cost of doing business. If you think you are right then go for it. Oh, btw that does not mean your ex has to follow the motion. You could potentially go to pick up your child for camp and your ex could have left for her parent's house. Very common and little you can do about it.

[Duped]

Very true...

I have considered all option, and it looks like a motion while being the right way to handle this is not effective in that the week of camp is mid august, it would take till october to complete it.

Another option that a friend suggested is that I simply not return him and send him to camp. I have documented info from her that the only reason she will not let him go is because she can use him to get back at me.

Seems stupid since I have done nothing to her and she has done everything to me, I will never figure her out.

What do you think might happen if I just send him to camp during her week?

Thanks

Duped

[logicalvelocity]

Duped,

What do you think might happen if I just send him to camp during her week?

I wouldn't. The idea of a joint custody regime is to cooperate with one another in the best interest of your child. If the other party is not willing to bend, bite your tongue, reschedule the event so when the child is with you.

You have to remember that there is nothing ever final in family law. Anything can be changed. Don't give them evidence to support a variance of the current regime.

You have to pick your battles

lv

[Duped]

Ahhhhhhh........

I would not be able to live with myself if I did that anyway, it is against everything that I stand for, although, considering that the program is only offered once per year and this is the last year he can attend, as in there is no rescheduling, it is still tempting to just say screw it, after all, if you know my story, then you also know she stole 4 months away from me at the same time last year, 4 months that I will never get back.

Still, I highly doubt that I could do that.

Thanks for the strait answer

Duped