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  • Wife, self proclaimed Goddess with a Master, Please Help.

    Hello and thanks for your help!
    We got married about 8 years ago. I was an admitted washed up, flat broke Artist on a WCB disability pension and a long history of well documented anxiety disorder OCD. She accepted that came over from Germany and we lived in poverty for a couple years. She argued me into quitting my night time cleaning job.
    When her family met me, they said they have never seen her so happy. Her Dear Mother who I love as my own Mother gifted us into our joint account enough money to open a store and other repairs in our home.
    My wife has been gone for over a week and has no intention of ever living here again. She says she would like to recoup her investment.
    The store was put in my son's myself and her name equally, and he lives above it in his apartment, In this village it only cost 140,000 and is payed for. The house is also needed for office etc. and is in my name equity approx 60,000 value 100.00.
    I realize I owe her 30.000 for that plus half of contents.
    My proposal, that she was very happy with, is that 1/3ed profits from store and house that will also become a store downstairs as it use to be would would be sent to her forever.
    I have always trusted her and she was devoted to me.
    I found out about 5 months ago that she was cheating.
    I do understand the no fault divorce system and mention the following for reasons that will be clear.
    She is with a married man that she sees infrequently. He seems to get a kick out of cheating on his older educated, hard working wife. He claims it's not lying but keeping a secret.
    My wife went heavy into BDSM and calls him master. They were always texting and going on line whenever the Master could hide from his wife.
    I actually tried to convince myself that I must become as she is to keep her and built a bedroom dungeon/playroom for us.
    I went to the secret meetings and a dungeon party. I tried to brainwash myself to be one of them. I also went to poly amorous meetings to get me to understand that it's OK for her to have me as husband and also be head over heals in love with her master. She encouraged me to cheat with the wives of friends and customers saying that cheating is no big deal and society is wrong.
    I had enough because these are values that I will never except and I wish I had never looked into the dungeon door.
    Although no fault divorce, I can not trust this Master because he has some control of her mind. Therefor I am not sure what is coming next. He is terrified of me of exposing him but is her Master and may influence her. I want her to have an easy life and not have to work to hard and always keep my word. She calls her self a Goddess and I fear for her mental health. She is 40 and I do know about midlife crises.
    Questions:
    1-Can she force sale of the house?
    2-Is this really a case of recouping her investment since it was given to us because her Mother that finally thought that she will not change men every 5 years as always and the money was to give us a store and income?
    3-Am I being fair with my offer?
    4-Can she take the store that my son and I need desperately to survive and is his home?
    5-Who has the leverage here me or her?

    I can run a store but am pretty well unemployable at mid 50's, with my long history of mental illness.
    She left the store and went to collage to become an RMT over a year ago and should make good money in a year. While at school her Mom pays for everything including housing but is very upset and disrespects all my wife has done regarding this situation.
    My wife seems to be worried about alimony and I have told her it's absurd and that I would never ever ask nor can I because she is a student.
    I don't think she will try anything but since she has a master that ties her up and spanks her, I have less trust than ever. I Also believe
    that she has lost her moral compass since her master/boyfriend doesn't seem to even understand what truth is. My son and I are obsessed with truth and consider lying repugnant.
    Thank you very much for any advice.



  • #2
    Although I understand you wanted to provide some background, I suggest you leave the BDSM stuff out and you should put it out of your mind. If you tell this story to a lawyer you will be wasting an hour of billing time. No judge will consider it relevent.

    We all have exes that are unreasonable, who expect the world, who will cheat us, etc. The reasons for it don't mean anything. It comes down to protecting yourself and trying to make the best of the situation.

    Your former mother-in-law gifted the money to your joint account. The money was shared between you both, it was not her money. You need copies of bank statements showing it was a JOINT account. Get to the bank and work on this ASAP, you MUST have all statements available and organised. This is YOUR job, you have to do it. If you already have, good. Keep it in a file all organised and have multiple copies available.

    The house, store, fixtures, stock etc. are physical assets. The buisiness itself may have value as an income stream that goes beyond those assets. This isn't something we can answer, you will need to have the business appraised. The more accurate, professional, verified information you have in your hands, the better protected you are from wild claims.

    Your ex wife gets 1/3 share of the business assets since your son is also a partner. She gets 1/2 the EQUITY of the matrimonial home and equalization of any personal assets and savings built up during the marriage.

    You need a lawyer for this and an accountant. Don't pay your lawyer to listen to your BDSM tales, you can get a theripist for a fraction of the price.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you Mess, much appreciated

      My wife and I want to keep it simple with no lawyers or accountants.
      Just sign a paper with a notary.


      We both trust each other at this time when it comes to Money.

      ie: Half of house equity and contents 40,000 1/3 store value & stock 70,000
      I owe her 110.000 that is payed slowly as a third of profit. Can this be done?

      If she does change her mind before we do this.

      Can she force me out of the house by forcing a sale of it?
      Can she force a sale or store/apartment. She gifted my son 1/3ed and he lives there?

      Thank you

      Comment


      • #4
        she can force the sale, just like you could. She has every right to expect her money right away, just like you would.

        Comment


        • #5
          Can she force sale of the building my son is in? It takes ten years to sell in this village.

          Comment


          • #6
            What she can force is for you to pay her share of the assets immediately. If you can find the cash, get a loan or take out a mortgage then you should be fine.

            The building is tied intimately to the business, forcing sale of the building would shut down the business.

            She can make whatever arguments she wants in court, but your counter would be that it would destroy your income and asset in the business.

            Don't just sit back and do nothing, but don't panic either. You have a strong defence available.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you
              Her and I have decided to stay in business together and make the house into a business as well. I will pay her 1/3 of all profit and then leave the house to her (she is younger) when I die and she gives her share of the store to my son then.
              We want to just write up an agreement and take it to a notary without any fight. Good idea?

              Comment


              • #8
                i would be very careful with that. If the agreement isnt done legally and enforceable, if she survives you she may decide not to give it to your son. She may find someone new and want to leave it to him.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Is it possable to just draw up an aggreement and get it notorized?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Sammy3 View Post
                    Is it possable to just draw up an aggreement and get it notorized?
                    Is the business incorporated? How old is your son?

                    If you are not incorporated do you have a partnership agreement?

                    What does your will say regarding your assets? Do they go to your son upon your death etc?

                    Things you will have to consider:

                    If incorporated:

                    1. who are the shareholders and what is the percentage of holdings?

                    2. do you have a unanimous shareholders agreement among the shareholders?

                    3. do you have a will dealing with your corporate holdings (you can have a separate will dealing for specific matters such as this)?

                    4. How are you bringing the house into "the business"? Are you rolling over as an asset and receiving shares? Has the house been valued to properly do this to avoid unnecessary tax complications. Know that transfering the house to the business may still require you to pay land transfer tax.

                    How is the house held currently? Because right now, she is entitled to 1/2 of its value. Will she be willing to take the reduced amount of 1/3?

                    How is the partnership interest going to be dealt with? Are you each going to gift to your son enough to give him a 1/3rd interest? Has anyone consider what, if any, tax consequences may be involved by doing so?

                    IMO, if you are looking to go this route, get a GOOD lawyer and speak to your accountant and maybe even a tax accountant before making these sorts of moves. While the ideas may look good now, you could:

                    a) be setting your estate up for future issues if your don't get this done right and your ex is left entitled to more then you wanted or allowing her to challenge the distribution;

                    b) be setting youself, your son and/or your estate up for adverse tax consequences; and

                    c) not realizing all of the mechanisms and costs that may also have to be done to get this done right (ie. transferring the property to the business and the tax consequences and costs of that).

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thank you Hammer Dad
                      Not incorporated
                      She likes the idea of a third profit split from both locations
                      The house is partial business already
                      Son is my son 30 years old and very smart, I raised as a single dad from a previous marriage
                      This is a small village easy to survive in and wife and I do not use lawyers even to buy property and never will. (No offense to lawyers)

                      Comment

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