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  • When Professionals start questioning Drug Use and Mental Illness

    Wow , well we went a week with pretty much no issues.

    Okay so how do we get an order or request "mom" to have a psych eval and or drug test?

    On several occasions now the question has been brought up, once by a sheriff, and more recently by aanother lawyer if she is on drugs and or mentally ill?

    If this is the case and she could be diagnosed and perhaps either in treatment for drug use and or on medication to regulate her mental ilness then it would be in the best interests of the children, and perhaps even some further stability.

    I already know to get this kind of order is difficult at best but there must be ways.

  • #2
    On presumption, How does their medical condition effect their ability to parent?

    Comment


    • #3
      I just want to say that you are not likely to get an Order for either UNLESS CAS or the OCL request them...

      My partners ex is clearly mentally ill and has 2 parents with psych disorders that are genetically passed...

      we also have had current photos of her standing in marijuana fields bagging drugs and smoking them AND STILL thrown out

      these accusations have become SO common in family court they are virtually ignored unless there is a professional that finds it necessary

      and with logicalvelocity unless this effects ability to parent going to be even more difficult

      Comment


      • #4
        yup, no one cares unless the child is abused and tells it

        in seeking out other men whom have a vareity of
        weird stories one had a picture of his son standing
        around a camp fire with other men with thier d1cks
        out and the mother holding a beer

        she still has the child ... there is no law in being
        crazy or bad parent unless the child is abused

        then again i live in the wild wild west ... no (not many) real cowboys
        here but the cowgirls run the (court) house

        ... really trying to hold my keyboard quiet here cause
        even if she abuses them she will get away with it ... it
        just takes a little while (longer)

        Comment


        • #5
          Frustration..

          My Childrens Mother is 35, she has been medicated since she was 15.
          She was sexually abused as a pre-teen, she has a documented mental history of severe depression, BPD, suicide attemtps, and threats of hurting the children.

          She has filed false police reports, false claims with Child Services... The Police have looked into her mental health and I was told by the local "Domestic Violence" officer that they understand she has a history of bizarre behaviour and mental health issues. I have never been investigated, but I have been contacted by both groups to talk about her claims.. The consensus is that she has mental health issues....back to this in a minute..

          My lawyer told me if I wanted to have her assessed I better save up $25,000 dollars to pay for the assessment, and submit to a full assessment myself... She told me most likely in my area I would end up with a "mother centric" assessor who would find a reason why the kids should not be with "daddy".

          Back to the previous point... When I asked the Police if they would initiate an evaluation/assessment they told me that is not their role, they only intervene to stop abuse... and since her claims are unfounded their is nothing they can do.. The DV Officer had a one hour conversation with me about how many women come into her office every week that are even more bizarre than my kids mom.

          So good luck finding someone who cares that works in a capacity that can request a Gov't funded assessment.. Let me know if you figure out a way to make this happen.

          Oh, and just I side note.. When the kids mom went into the police detachment two days before my daughters kinder grad to ask for a restraining order because "her former husband was plotting to get her".. She took our 4 year old and 2 year old in with her, the DV officer sat with my former spouse and two youngest children in the same room as the kids mom spewed vitriole about me in front of the kids for 45 minutes...And the officer did not realize it was a bad idea to have the kids in the room until I told her a few days later..

          The good news is... The DV officer thinks she is a nut.. And the Kinder Grad was awesome.. And par for the course, she felt the need to invite me to lunch with her and the kids after the grad ceremony.. despite being terrified of my plotting...

          The point of my story.. unless you have lots of money to pay for multiple assessments... just get used to the nutty fun that having a crazy person in your life brings..

          Comment


          • #6
            Mental illness is a serious condition and if left untreated/undertreated or ignored will destroy lives and those around them.
            It's not an easy thing to diagnose. Most walk around as if it's everyone else that has the problem and don't see themselves as the ones causing them.
            Have you ever tried to talk to her, help her get help? Other family, friends that would help? I know it's not your part or she in not your responsibility but you have a responsibility to make sure your children are not harmed in anyway by this and as you feel your options are limited in ways of the law etc, then see what it is that you could do to make things better.
            It's like that show, "interventions" too bad something like that was easier to or more accessible.
            Im sorry to hear your story

            Comment


            • #7
              I know and understand what all of you are saying. This is actually difficult and I have been trying to wrap my mind around the issues. "mom" texts dad requests a week about noe that she is back in town, dad agrees....next txt/email "mom" states that dad has not agreed to any schedule. "mom" texts dad to ask if "stepmom" will be around to drop off winter clothes for daughter, dad replies with yes immediately...next msg "mom" says dad did not answer her question...things have been going on like this for quite some time and progressively getting worse...."mom" keeps stating she has "medical" problems but is unwilling to disclose except to a Judge him or herself in closed quarters...the list of inconsistencies becomes endless from simle to complex...even Just today "dad agrees to attempt to try and negotiate things for a term of 3 days, and states if ther is no resolve within that 3 dyas things will proceed further to trial..."mom" says she is confused and does not understand his request to only have a response from her every third day....it's really nutty...insight would be helpful and appreciated

              Comment


              • #8
                Until she does something criminal...

                Sorry for my pessimism ConcernedStepMom,

                My own experiences have left me doubtfull that there is much that can be done. Even if your in a position to have an assessment performed, it is not an absolute that some magical psychologist will find the truth in a few home visits..

                The Elaine Campione conviction is a fine example of how well the Family Law Industry handles issues of mental illness in parents.

                The hardest time of my life was being married to the childrens mother.. When I woke up I was told I was the devil, be evening I was the best husband who ever lived.. the pattern of insanity is hard to describe because it was random... one good week, two bad days, followed by one good day and a month of irratic behaviour and depression..

                I know she loves the kids, but her erratic and often hatefull behaviour makes their little lives very confusing... But there is nothing I can do about it.. Except be the best parent I can be for four nights a week when they are with me.

                Comment


                • #9
                  More complaining about gender bias instead of actually doing something to further your cause.

                  We had a (free) OCL assessment done and sole custody was recommended for me, which became the basis of our settlement which included sole custody for Dad.

                  To hear all those people who just want to constantly remind us that gender bias is the worst thing in family law whilst doing nothing more than complain about it makes me want to puke.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    How do you get a free Assessment

                    dadtotheend,

                    Many people have been unable to get past the gender bias for many reasons. I personally complain about it as an outlet to my frustration. When the gender bias is corrected, people will stop complaining.

                    I am not sure how the Assessments work where you live, but I have been instructed by my lawyer that I will need to find a way to get $25,000 in order to have an assessment performed. She says this is because, while I have no disposable income left after my obligations are paid, I make too much money to qualify for a free assessment. (Then she usually laughs about how impossible some situations are HaHaHa).

                    So while it may make you want to puke, please share with me your secret to getting a (free) assessment done.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You can request OCL involvement if you are in Ontario.

                      OR you can request a parenting capacity assessment with psychological component. Total cost on that is approx. 3000-5000 each.

                      YOU would pay yours, she would pay for hers.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        In Ontario it's called the Office of the Children's Lawyer.

                        Ministry of the Attorney General - The Office of the Children's Lawyer

                        What province do you live in?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                          OR you can request a parenting capacity assessment with psychological component. Total cost on that is approx. 3000-5000 each.
                          That's a long way from $25K and a much more realistic number.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank-you

                            Thank-you I will definitely research this in Alberta...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              We had a court order for OCL previously that was declined


                              Okay a lil off topic what formula would the court/judge use to calculate child support in this circumstance... 1 child at 100% and 1 child at 50/50?

                              We have been calculating it at 1 child full time at her income full amount of CS and subtracting 1 child at 50/50 Her income from his income and adding the 2 amounts....Lawyer said could also be calculated by taking her income and CS amount for 2 children and subtracting the amount at her income for 1 child and subtracting his amount at his income for one child.

                              The second one sounds more complex but the lawyer stated the Judge may do this to give a lower amount for her to pay.

                              Any thoughts?

                              Comment

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