Motion, cs, and ss? help

[rwatson]

brief history:

My husband was removed from our home jan of 2010 on domestic assault charges. We have a no contact order. imediately I hired a lawyer in order to secure he still financially support his family. Myself and his two step children. He makes 90,000 plus a year I have been a stay at home mom off and on for our entire relationship. It was a control issue with him. We are going to court tomorrow for a motion for interm support. He is pulling out all the punches. Saying he wasn't involved in the children's lives, basically he is saying he co-existed with us in the home, he had nothing to do with them, and the list goes on basically he's pulling all the punches out. He's had my son whom we've been estranged from for a year. and prior to that two years. It amuses me he would call on him for help concidering he hates him and never wanted anything to do with him.

To date he's given me some money but only at the direction of his lawyer never on his own accord. We've been married 2 years living together for over 11. I am working part time as its all I can find at the moment.

So that being said I am applying for an interm order for cs and ss. Who's got experience and what should I expect.

[billiechic]

is the child his child?

[rwatson]

both children at home are step children. he stepped in as dad from pretty much day one 11 years ago. they see their natural father probably twice a year. I have pictures, fathers day cards etc Im a bit of a saver. they've never sent their dad a b'day card, xmas card, fathers day card etc. My husband was present at school meetings, was instrumental for disapline, watching them while I was at work etc pretty much anything a father would do. He's claiming that he just basically co-existed in the home with us and the kids and never had anything fatherly to do with them. the kids refer to him as dad to their friends but by his first name one on one. however they do call him on occasion daddy 2. His first lawyer sent a fax to my lawyer innitially for a support payment of x amount of dollars a month but it wasn't even hitting the table amounts. his second lawyer (he fired his first lawyer due to the fact he didn't want to listen to her) put in an offer for settlement of x amount of dollars spousal support only. it was a joke of an offer based on his income. he's being forced by the courts at the moment to stay with his mother. He's totally lied on the financial statement. says he's paying me 1200/m support and he's not paying me a dime. just bits and pieces twice. he's lied on affidavits, he's involved two people who have essentially tried to ruin our lives etc. its actually getting messy for a support hearing

[NBDad]

Does the children's biological father currently pay child support? Do you have a support order from him?

Hate to tell you, but from what you describe your ex can certainly fight having to pay child support, and can drag things along regarding spousal for months if not years.

Bio dad should have been paying support all along. If you did not pursue support from Bio dad, your current ex has a valid defense against having to pay support, or at the very least to have his support reduced below table.

Total crap shoot, and your ex can drag that through for months if not years. You *MIGHT* get table, you might get nothing. The presence of BIO-DAD being involved in their lives, however limited it was...complicates things.

Expect to have it argued that you should have an income inputted to you if you are only working part time.

You were only married for 2 years, so you might NOT qualify for spousal. The 11 years as "common law" can be seen as a business relationship for the purpose of assets, but it typically doesn't come into play for spousal support.

By the letter of things, you qualify for spousal for 1-2 years, tops. You can argue this (and your lawyer WILL tell you that you'll be successful, even if they know your chances are slim to none...ALWAYS keep in mind the lawyer is in business to MAKE MONEY, the longer they string you along, the more $$$ they make)

However you have a full claim on equalization of assets...he DID marry you, and unless there is a pre-nup or co-habitation agreement you get 50% of the net household assets. Household Assets - Household debts = net assets / 2 = what you have claim to.

[Mess]

You were only married for 2 years, so you might NOT qualify for spousal. The 11 years as "common law" can be seen as a business relationship for the purpose of assets, but it typically doesn't come into play for spousal support.

Not true in Ontario. According to the Family Law Act, an unmarried couple are considered spouses for spousal support purposes after 3 years of cohabitation. They are considered spouses for support purposes after a shorter period if they are in a "relationship of some permanence" and raising a child together.

rwatson, to structure your argument to your best advantage, you want to date the relationship to the beginning of cohabitation, to emphasize that you were raising the children together from that time. You want to show him as a step-parent and not a room-mate or business partner, and you want to show it from day one (if this is true). If you ignore the years before you were legally married, then you are weakening your argument and strengthening his.

You would want to point to your mutual decision to legally marry, and state that this was a concious decision to acknowledge the existance of the family. Otherwise why the hell would you and he have married? This act itself speaks to him acknowledging the family.

The school meetings, father's day cards, etc are all relevant. For him, it's harder to prove a negative, and he wouldn't have any factual evidence that he wasn't acting as father, just denial. So you have a decent case, from what you describe it is as strong as any, but this is no guarentee. You can only put together the strongest case you can and work from there.

[rwatson]

as a matter of fact when we were going for custody of my children 5 years ago my husband signed an aff in the effect of
1. I make more than enough money to support the children
2. We do not require support from their bio dad
3. I welcome the chance to parent the children.

He has offered spousal in a offer but not child. We do not get child support from bio as it was written into our custody agreement.
His argument at the moment is that he cohabitated in the same house but had no parental roll pertaining to the children. as well as never had one on one time with the children even though yes I have worked and mostly evenings as we shared a vehical and it was easier than driving from one city to another. I stopped working two years ago when the bar I was working at closed down and had a hard time finding another job. Part time is the only thing I can find at the moment. My husband made it very difficult for me to keep a job, would bust a vein if I were late picking him up, complain that it took away from his time etc etc. very controlling relationship.
His argument is absurde to say the least. He has played a huge roll in the childrens lives, coached ball, went to swim meets, helped the children with their homework, was present at school functions including each childs graduation, was listed as a parent on school forms and was able to talk to the teachers about progress, sign notes, as well as pick the children up from school. Their bio dad was not listed. We didn't marry for a business arangement we married because we loved each other. Like most couples. Im worried about this motion for interm support tomorrow. he's grasping at straws.

[logicalvelocity]

So is tomorrow a first appearance or case conference etc?

[rwatson]

tomorrow is an emergency motion for interm support.

[logicalvelocity]

tomorrow is an emergency motion for interm support.

Are the financial documents in place?

[rwatson]

oh yes. however there are descrepancies on his. such as he's paying me 1200/month support. when in reality he throws me a bone at his lawyers request. he's put in an offer to settle for spousal but not for child.

[logicalvelocity]

Good luck tomorrow -- difficult to speculate what will happen...

[rwatson]

i know it is this is what worries me. there is so much evidence against him. the aff, the admission of spousal support, the admission of support on his financial statements etc. it seems him and his lawyer are just grasping at what they can. I just worry and wondered what I should expect

[enoughalready]

Have you pursued support from their biological father?

If not I'm more than certain you are dead in the water. I'll try to find the case I saw on Can law in this regard. The CP was in the same boat and went after the step father and never made an attempt to get support from the biological father and the judge didn't grant any support from the step parent.

[rwatson]

went for the motion today. he will have to pay child support and ss. not what we expected the order was very low based on his income. and my lawyer is really wanting to appeal the decision. however we go for a case conf in august I told her not to bother. they are basing me on imputing income however I am not underemployed for my area, I have exhausted my job search to include other towns as well as my own to no avail. they are also impuding income on the bio dad based on discrepencies in both our affidavits. I find it hard to believe a man who isn't paying a damn thing to live at his mothers, has no money so to speak of he couldn't even pay me the pittence the judge ordered.

[NotSoNiceEx]

I don't think you should have received anything considering the bio father does not pay child support. You were together for 9 years married in the last two and have no children together. You should be grateful that he supported you and your children throughout your time together over the past 11 years. You said you were a stay at home mom, and he took you and your children in, supported the 3 of you without assistance from the bio dad. If you were receiving support from the bio father i would say you might have a legitimate claim for spousal because you were married and that is it. I think if anyone deserves money it is him!. JMHO