two years old

[Berner_Faith]

Whatever you do DON'T send her money! No matter what sob story she gives you. At this point you don't owe her CS because it was agreed upon that she is just visiting and will return on Oct 4th. Did she have a return ticket?

[FirstTimer]

In plus to everyone. She sounds like my ex....it's not an expectation it's a right that people help her.

I've been living with that type of personality for the past 5 years and as long as you help her she will see you as nothing but a bank machine and be outraged when you don't help her. She treats you like a car sales man his clients,
"You're only as good as her last sale."

And truth be told she guilts you with the child but realize this, the long term damage you do to your son is worse. Get your 50/50 or primary or whatever you need to do but do not let her dictate how this story will unfold. You have a child that I think without her, would be raised in a proper environment. Do it for your son.

Put your foot down.

[dad2bandm]

I talk to lawyer he just made appointment for Wednesday .

My common in law ask me to send her money she needs to pay power bill that she didn't pay when she was living there 3 years ago?!

She said she found apartment but first she has to pay outstanding bill.
I will see what lawyer will tell me

I am glad you are meeting with a lawyer. You will need a lawyer for this.
Make sure you and lawyer are on same page about this.
This should be treated as an emergency if you have texts and/or email from "mother" stating she is not returning. (I recommend trying to move communication with ex to email, as email is easier to capture and document)

Stress to lawyer that you want child returned to where he has lived all this time and you want this started now. You did not agree for your child to be abducted to another province.

Do not send any money to your ex. You, or your family members.

[young father]

two years old

Well I went in front of the judge with lawyer. she almost laugh at my face. she said child has to be with mother and she doesn't have anybody in here. WTF I don't have any right basically ???!!! This must be a nightmare.

So I don't know what else to do. Text messages she doesn't care, she doesn't want to accept Ontario as a jurisdiction until she heard her side??!!

But she accept to serve notice to negotiate???!! So October 24th is the date for me to come to court . I have no clue how and where my ex will go . And I have no idea what will happen. Need help, please.

[standing on the sidelines]

Well I went in front of the judge with lawyer. she almost laugh at my face. she said child has to be with mother and she doesn't have anybody in here. WTF I don't have any right basically ???!!! This must be a nightmare.

So I don't know what else to do. Text messages she doesn't care, she doesn't want to accept Ontario as a jurisdiction until she heard her side??!!

But she accept to serve notice to negotiate???!! So October 24th is the date for me to come to court . I have no clue how and where my ex will go . And I have no idea what will happen. Need help, please.

sounds like your lawyer dropped the ball on this.

[LovingFather32]

Deep breath. Emergency Motion's are VERY tough to get. You have to prove your child is in immediate, physical danger. (In my experience).

Have you filed an application for custody/access? Completed your 35.1 and financials?

Start prepping for a Case Conference date. Your lawyer should be all over this like flies on dirty chocolate.

BS that judge has to hear her side. She took off and sent you a text that she wasn't returning. No problems asking for $ though.

Buckle up .. you're n for a ride.

[young father]

two years old

thank you for answers, I am still lost what this means, I don't know anything I am out of my son life? Is she gonna decide when and how I am gonna see him? by this judge yes.
Lawyer said most cases start like this. it is difficult. I am gonna read more about that conference , don't know exactly what is that, but some of it I do. Should I go for a sole custody?

[LovingFather32]

thank you for answers, I am still lost what this means, I don't know anything I am out of my son life? Is she gonna decide when and how I am gonna see him? by this judge yes.
Lawyer said most cases start like this. it is difficult. I am gonna read more about that conference , don't know exactly what is that, but some of it I do. Should I go for a sole custody?

Case Conference.
How to Prepare for a Case Conference in the Superior Court of Justice | The Law Society of Upper Canada


How to Prepare for a Case Conference in the Superior Court of Justice | The Law Society of Upper Canada

http://www.yorklaw.ca/dat/content/Ca...%20Handout.pdf

You should have some reading material for a while.

The key is to know the system. You need to start NOW!

[standing on the sidelines]

thank you for answers, I am still lost what this means, I don't know anything I am out of my son life? Is she gonna decide when and how I am gonna see him? by this judge yes.
Lawyer said most cases start like this. it is difficult. I am gonna read more about that conference , don't know exactly what is that, but some of it I do. Should I go for a sole custody?

don't go for sole custody, its too much of a battle to try and prove that she is an unfit mother. Focus on having the child returned to at least your area and if not then to have CS reduced due to high access costs. When the child is younger its easier to have split custody..that all changes when he goes to school so you need to think of the future as well as the right now.

[LovingFather32]

don't go for sole custody, its too much of a battle to try and prove that she is an unfit mother. Focus on having the child returned to at least your area and if not then to have CS reduced due to high access costs. When the child is younger its easier to have split custody..that all changes when he goes to school so you need to think of the future as well as the right now.

Agreed. No sole. Could have alternative sole in case mom doesn't want to budge. But joint is your best bet. I wouldn't count "parallel parenting" out.

[young father]

two years old

How split custody works if she doesn't want to live close here? I was redy to help her pay rent and have kid like 4 days and help her anyways just to have my son back.
The place where she want to stay now there is nothing , it is a village , when time for school comes I don't know how to get my son to have opportunity to have access to the best school and everything.
Our family law and system don't care they want kid to live with mom.

Unfortunately I am beaten up by her and the system

[Links17]

Man, sit back and relax. This is going to be a long fight..... who knows how long it will be till you see your child again. Realize the system can be really slow.

The most important thing was to OFFICIALLY contest her move then it is no longer considered that you agreed to it.

You need to consider that she might ask the judge to let her move to location Y anyways because it would be better for the child. (i.e: family support, job, financial support etc....).

[young father]

two years old

Doesn't she have to prove that there's more opportunity there? it is a place where half of the population is on welfare and half seasonal work. I think she applied for welfare there, looking to rent some apartment.
her parents are renting too.
I know that judge doesn't care any of it. she can be living in a rat's hole she is mother, and father can offer the best , he is a sucker.

[LovingFather32]

Doesn't she have to prove that there's more opportunity there? it is a place where half of the population is on welfare and half seasonal work. I think she applied for welfare there, looking to rent some apartment.
her parents are renting too.
I know that judge doesn't care any of it. she can be living in a rat's hole she is mother, and father can offer the best , he is a sucker.

They will look to see if the material change in circumstance correlates well with the best interests of child test. Judge wont really care if its a village with seasonal work. Perhaps if its a terrible, crime-ridden neighborhood that doesn't play well but for the most part .. don't try and put down her Change in circumstance .. prove why your plan is better/equally as good.

[standing on the sidelines]

Doesn't she have to prove that there's more opportunity there? it is a place where half of the population is on welfare and half seasonal work. I think she applied for welfare there, looking to rent some apartment.
her parents are renting too.
I know that judge doesn't care any of it. she can be living in a rat's hole she is mother, and father can offer the best , he is a sucker.

first off you just started this process so stop feeling so defeated already.

Who cares if her parents rent??? Hate to break it to you but some people rent their whole lives as they either cannot afford or don't want a house. Doesn't make them bad people.

It isn't about who has the better house or the more money etc. I know people scraping by who are better people then some with money who I wouldn't trust with my pet cat.