DIY Divorce

[KMF]

Hi there

I've spent a fortune on legal fees this past two years, so I thought I'd give myself a bit of relief, by doing the divorce on my own.

At our last settlement conference, we signed a consent order to sever the divorce from corollary issues, so the divorce could proceed.

Has anyone done this before? I know I skip form 8a and the serving my ex, so do I just bring in the affidavit for divorce, the divorce order form, my marriage certificate and my court fees? Do I have start a continuing record if this is all that's needed? I just don't want to show up at the courthouse only to be told that I haven't brought the right things in.

Thanks.

[cbarker78]

I'm doing the DIY version as well.... while I don't have experience with your other issues.... I think what you have listed there is about right... Don't forget the two self address stamped envelopes (one for you and one for ex)... Given that you seem to have a "few" other issues going on, it wouldn't hurt to go down and speak to a clerk at the Courthouse... In my town, the clerks have been very helpful and kind in answering my questions and providing information on next steps...

Best of luck!

[KMF]

Thank you! Good luck to you as well!

[mglee]

Can someone give me some advice, possibly a link to a seperation Agreement? Just starting the initial process and would like to keep lawyers out of it.
I would have posted a new thread, I know I read somewhere how to do it, but was unable to find the info again.
I'm planning to meet my x this weekend for an initial talk on how to deal with the financial. I am hoping it will be straightforward, but you never know. This meeting is to sort of feel him out.

[cbarker78]

Can someone give me some advice, possibly a link to a seperation Agreement? Just starting the initial process and would like to keep lawyers out of it.
I would have posted a new thread, I know I read somewhere how to do it, but was unable to find the info again.
I'm planning to meet my x this weekend for an initial talk on how to deal with the financial. I am hoping it will be straightforward, but you never know. This meeting is to sort of feel him out.

First off, take inventory - physical possessions, financially.... Do you have kids? How long were you married? What kind of post-divorce life do you hope to lead? Next, separate the emotional response from the business like, practical response..... Deal with the emotions with friends and or counsellor; dealing with the soon to be ex should be totally practical and business like...

There are many examples of SA both here and across the web - just google it...

In my case, my goal for the end of the process was to be able to maintain a civil, respectful relationship with the ex for the benefit of our children. Keeping that goal in mind has helped me in cutting through any other BS in the nitty gritty details..... For me, it was not worth fighting over possessions or material goods when this would not help us move forward with our lives.

I made it damn clear to him what I expected, and then left the ball in his court - he had to also decide if he could "man up" and be civil and respectable...

So far.... it's working, and the children are easing through the process quite well. A couple hiccups along the way, but nothing major...... and even better, no lawyers!!

Best wishes!

[DN in NB]

My experience was good doing the divorce myself..I went to court house asked for the divorce kit and any info to start....its spelled out in a book very well(at least for N.B.),initially my ex and I were still on good terms,we filled out all papers together to avoid any confusion etc at a later date.I had to fill out forms have them duplicated and mailed to the courthouse ,then they mailed them back to her to confirm address etc..I had a family friend of ours do the serving petition divorce to her,lots of forms I got a co workers wife(legal secertary)to make up other forms not avaible in kit,a small fee for this and the original kit,a couple small money orders for s.a.s.e`s etc..From start to finish it took about 6months with lots of open communication..total cost to me was about $270.

[mglee]

Thanks for your replies. I am not looking for divorce info at this time, just seperation agreement info. From what I can tell as long as we agree, it's as simple as laying out on paper all the pertinent facts and having it witnessed by someone.
I am currently trying list all the assets. I do have a questions about CPP. I stayed home for 12 years with the kids, am I entitled to a portion of his CPP? I don't think I will actually ask for it, but want to be fully informed in case I need to use it as a negoting tool.
Thanks

[DN in NB]

If it helps any theres a section in the papers(kit)where you list childrens ages ,amounts you`ve agreed to on support,attach last three years of both of your income tax returns,and marriage certificate..essentially in the child support section a judge will look it over and make a recommendation on your amounts.I had to pay slightly more than my ex and I agreed to .This covers the seperation agreement.no lawyers fees etc.Important that you and your ex can communicate well throughtout this part.Again this is in NewBrunswick..

[DN in NB]

as far as pension I think cpp isn`t something you can go after,now a seperate type(ex: goverment pension) is a different story

[standing on the sidelines]

as far as pension I think cpp isn`t something you can go after,now a seperate type(ex: goverment pension) is a different story

yes you can get a portion of CPP but it goes both ways.

[mglee]

Custody is not an issue, however we will have to work out something with child support.

This is the situation; married 24 years-3 children
2 children away at university for the year, but they, so far, have come home in the summer. They support themselves with RESP 's and OSAP. We dont regularly contribute, but do always cover their trips home, ususally we just drive to go get them.
1 child 17 that we share custody 50/50.

He has stayed in the family home. So far, this is our first summer post seperation, the two older children are staying mostly with him.

He makes 2/3 more than I do. That should entitle me to Child Support for the younger one, but realistically I just want him to cover his share (so 2/3) of the expenses. By that I mean purchases, like clothes, etc.

As far as the older 2, since they are residing with him during the summer months, would he be considered to have full custody? So therefore I would need to pay him support for their expenses over the summer?

I'm starting to realize how complicated and convoluted this could get. lol I'm just trying to be fair and make sure I think of all the scenarios, before I sign an agreement.

[standing on the sidelines]

i am thinking that you may have to pay him CS for the two older ones if they are with him and you get offset amount for the youngest. Looks like you may be owing him.