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  • Summer vacation request

    My ex has asked if he can take the kids a few extra days so that they can go away. He's planning to rent a trailer in a trailer park/resort here in Ontario for a week. I'm overrun with anxiety over the thought of him letting them run around the park unsupervised, potentially interacting with others. Based on past experience, there's a good chance he'll sit himself down by a fire with other folks while the kids go off and play. I'd normally be fine with this, but I'm sick with worry because of covid. They are 6 and 12.

    Can I make demands as in he'll need to supervise them at all times, ensure they are properly social distancing, etc? Or do I just have to cross my fingers and hope no one gets sick.

    I could always say no to his request for extra time, but that won't stop him from taking them just for the weekend. I don't trust his judgement and he's already made poor decisions during lockdown like taking them shopping at Walmart on a Saturday afternoon.

  • #2
    Are you planning to keep your children home from school in the fall? Do you keep them home 24/7 and away from others now? Are you in an area that has a high number of cases with community spread?

    You are being unreasonable. Let them go.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm undecided about school. It will depend on if there are multiple options presented by the government.

      I keep them socially distanced from others when we go out for our daily outdoor time. We do driveway visits with friends and family. If we are out for a walk, at the park, or head to the ice cream shop for a treat, they are supervised the entire time, are reminded to keep their distance. if necessary, we wear our masks and sanitize or wash our hands.

      We are in the GTA where cases are still reported daily.

      I'm more worried about the 6 year old. I also think the responsibility of supervising the 6 year old will unfairly be put in the 12 year old.

      I will give him the extra time.

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      • #4
        We share time 50/50. This is not an attempt to keep them away from their dad or not give him time. This is purely me being worried that they won't be properly supervised as it relates to covid. He took them last summer to the trailer - they ran around unsupervised, they loved it and I was happy they were able to be kids that enjoyed the outdoors rather than be glued to a screen. Again, this is strictly in the context of covid.

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        • #5
          Hi
          The thing with Covid is that the recommendations are always kind of changing and it’s serious but life seems to be moving forward. If you deny him and he takes them anyway it kind of defeats the purpose. Rather to be amicable I would just let him have the kids and explain your concerns to him in writing and have some kind of record. Then I would take a day or two and just go over the basic Covid safety protocols with your kids so they are cognizant of them and pack some extra sanitizer and wipes and electrolytes and stuff. Go over the importance of hand washing and social distancing and pack them their masks. Kids are very smart and if you give them the tools I’m sure they will be proactive to be safe and enjoy some summer. Covid has been hard but I firmly believe it’s been affecting the kids the most. Just my thoughts ,,,,

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          • #6
            Originally posted by seekinganswers79 View Post
            Can I make demands as in he'll need to supervise them at all times, ensure they are properly social distancing, etc? Or do I just have to cross my fingers and hope no one gets sick.
            Even if you made demands, you cannot possibly enforce them because you are unable to impose any consequences.

            The likely result is that the 12 year old would lie to you. The 6 year old would probably crack under a good inquisition, but then what?

            I don't trust his judgement and he's already made poor decisions during lockdown like taking them shopping at Walmart on a Saturday afternoon.
            Current understanding is that the virus does not affect children much at all. They likely had a higher risk of death from the car drive to Walmart than actually being in Walmart. If you live with elderly parents, and you are truly concerned, then perhaps let the children live with the father until the pandemic is over.

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            • #7
              As far as your Covid concern, I think any Ontario park would be safer than GTA. No?

              Comment


              • #8
                Janus beat me to my comment so I will echo it that what happens on dads time is his business. I would also add that the 12yo tell you what you want to hear.

                That said, you should not be interrogating your kids when they come home. Did you have fun? Yes. End of questions.

                Just because there are high cases in a region doesn’t mean they will get it. Should I not go to any city in Peel Region because they keep reporting high numbers? No.

                If you are that concerned, send them with a little bottle of hand sanitizer and recommend they use it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by seekinganswers79 View Post
                  ...

                  We are in the GTA where cases are still reported daily.
                  ...

                  The kids have a higher chance of catching COVID with you, in Toronto, than they do in a Provincial Park - and in either scenario, the chances are low.

                  Comment

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