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How to save a relationship with your child

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  • #16
    As long as your kids are in her home they will continue to avoid you as it prevents continued issues with their mother. You continuing to force jt makes it worse as they get a reprieve with you but then go back to it.

    Stop forcing it. Let them know you are there and let them come to you. By trying to make them do what you want you are pushing them away. This behaviour is to make YOU feel better not them. Your ex will continue to play this game as long as she knows it bothers you but all you are doing is hurting the kids. Take a break and let them figure it out. They aren’t hiding or avoiding anything. They are working in self preservation mode. To avoid the abuse from their mother they avoid you. They won’t stand up to her because they live with her and they have an emotional attachment. She makes them feel bad for caring about you and they want that to stop. Unfortunately that means hiding in their safe bubble and avoiding everything.

    I strongly encourage you to read “a familys heartbreak” by mike jeffries.

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    • #17
      rockscan - I understand where you're coming from and feel that you may be right. I will never give up on my girls, but cannot push a relationship that's not wanted. It been voiced and I need to respect her decision. She's not a 9 year old anymore and she must have thought about this long and hard. I will try and see her one last time tonight, but if the results are the same... I'm done for a while. I'm only hurting myself and that's not healthy. I've been suffering with this for a long time now and I need to let it go. Move forward and pray that one day she will come around. I thank you all for your kind words and advice. I will have to say goodbye to my little girl for a while and it breaks my heart. This has got to be one of the saddest days I've had in a long time. Thanks again!

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      • #18
        Read that book. It was eye opening for my husband.

        Plus you can continue to message her, call, text etc but just as a “hey thinking about you, know that I love you” kind of thing.

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