Exh is a bully. I made many concessions during marriage and since separation to keep the peace and avoid conflict with him. I'm tired of it.
In our separation agreement (SA) for xmas, parent 1 gets kids 12pm xmas eve to 12pm xmas day, and parent 2 gets them 12pm xmas day to 7pm box day. Then this alternates every year. However, because his family celebrates xmas eve, we verbally agreed that I'd let him have the kids on my years that I have them xmas eve. This year, is my year again as parent 1 with xmas eve. Usually he discusses with me first, but this year he did not ask me about xmas eve. He assumed he has them on my day. I asked to have them back from him earlier, at 7:30pm instead of 9pm, because of i have plans with them. He said maybe and doesn't care about my plans. When I was assertive and said, i'd like to firm up plans, he responded with no and he'd have them back at 9pm.
He said its his family tradition every year since the kids were born and doesn't want to cut it short for my plans. My family tradition since the kids were born is to celebrate every xmas day dinner but i'm abiding by the agreement and move my tradition to boxing day when its not my year. So, while he gets to celebrate his family tradition on Xmas eve every year, I only get to celebrate my family tradition (which was on Xmas day), every other year. And this year he gets them all xmas day (afternoon and overnight). He usually stays home and does nothing xmas day.
Tallying up the hours, he will get them 30 hours total, and I, 22 hours total over the 3 days. Plus, he gets almost an extra day because I agreed to let him have the kids overnight the Saturday before xmas, which is my weekend with the kids. He is having a Christmas party that he wants them there for.
I feel he is being unreasonable and unfair with me. His family tradition is just as important as mine.
Not sure what to do. Push for 7:30pm. The kids know about our plans and are fine with it. Or leave it this year and amend the agreement to something we can both abide by. But there's nothing that will make him abide by it.
I am sick of him manipulating and controlling me. This incident is only one of many and of many more to come. How do I deal with such a person?
In our separation agreement (SA) for xmas, parent 1 gets kids 12pm xmas eve to 12pm xmas day, and parent 2 gets them 12pm xmas day to 7pm box day. Then this alternates every year. However, because his family celebrates xmas eve, we verbally agreed that I'd let him have the kids on my years that I have them xmas eve. This year, is my year again as parent 1 with xmas eve. Usually he discusses with me first, but this year he did not ask me about xmas eve. He assumed he has them on my day. I asked to have them back from him earlier, at 7:30pm instead of 9pm, because of i have plans with them. He said maybe and doesn't care about my plans. When I was assertive and said, i'd like to firm up plans, he responded with no and he'd have them back at 9pm.
He said its his family tradition every year since the kids were born and doesn't want to cut it short for my plans. My family tradition since the kids were born is to celebrate every xmas day dinner but i'm abiding by the agreement and move my tradition to boxing day when its not my year. So, while he gets to celebrate his family tradition on Xmas eve every year, I only get to celebrate my family tradition (which was on Xmas day), every other year. And this year he gets them all xmas day (afternoon and overnight). He usually stays home and does nothing xmas day.
Tallying up the hours, he will get them 30 hours total, and I, 22 hours total over the 3 days. Plus, he gets almost an extra day because I agreed to let him have the kids overnight the Saturday before xmas, which is my weekend with the kids. He is having a Christmas party that he wants them there for.
I feel he is being unreasonable and unfair with me. His family tradition is just as important as mine.
Not sure what to do. Push for 7:30pm. The kids know about our plans and are fine with it. Or leave it this year and amend the agreement to something we can both abide by. But there's nothing that will make him abide by it.
I am sick of him manipulating and controlling me. This incident is only one of many and of many more to come. How do I deal with such a person?
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