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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-20-2010, 10:12 PM
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Default recommendations or changes in final orders

I know I read somewhere on this forum what are some of the good/bad orders that people had made in their final agreement/orders. I can't find it and just spent too much time looking, so Im hoping some will recommend or not recommend some of the orders they have.
What are some good key points in considering in regards to a toddler less than 2 years old.
Access, pick up/drop offs, cancelled access, sick time, holidays, vacations, school, march break, summer holidays etc etc etc
Key is that I feel most of this might have to be spelled out in the order/final agreement as there are communication problems between me and ex

Last edited by tugofwar; 05-20-2010 at 10:14 PM.
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Old 05-21-2010, 10:40 AM
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If your ex is anything like mine, you want to break out the crayons. Make is 100% absolutely crystal clear. Then have someone NOT involved with the situation read it and see if they can find anything that's ambigous.

Specify what is considered a "holiday" (ie. Just Christmas/new year? what about Easter, March Break, Summer, Birthdays, Canada Day, etc)

Lay out who gets the child and when, and at what time. ie. instead of saying "they will trade off years" lay it out.... For Example:

Holidays are hereby agreed to include the following: Christmas, New Years, Easter, March Break, Mini-Tug's Birthday, & Canada Day. Holidays are understood to be given priority over the normal custody/access arrangements that have been defined above and will supercede those arrangements for the duration of the agreed to holiday*.

"Tug gets the child on Christmas for even numbered years, ex to get the child on Christmas for odd numbered years. Christmas is understood to be defined as 9am Dec 23 until 9am on Dec 26."

Repeat as necessary for EVERY holiday.

* This means that even if it runs into EITHER of your scheduled time and the other person is due to get the child on that holiday, the holiday access trumps normal access. Works both ways and has the potential to affect you both.

SUMMER

Each party is allowed to choose two (2) non consecutive, week long (Sun-Sat) periods during the summer for vacation access. Summer is hereby agreed to Start on June 30 and end on Aug 30 of each year.

Tug to choose her weeks first on odd numbered years, ex to choose his weeks first on even numbered years. Choice of summer week access to be provided no later than the first weekend in June of each year. Summer Vacation access is hereby understood and agreed to supercede normal custody/access arrangements as per Holiday arrangements.

TRAVEL

The parties agree to allow each other to travel with the child within Canada for the purpose of vacation without requiring prior written consent of the other.

The parties agree to allow each other to travel with the child outside of Canada as long as at least 45 days written notice is provided. Each party agrees they will provide a travel itinerary, including addresses and phone numbers where they may be reached in the event of an emergency upon request of the other. The parties further agree that if required, a consent to travel document will be completed and provided to the other.

The parties agree that any fees, costs, etc associated with documentation required for holiday/vacation travel will be the sole responsibility of the person requesting the documentation.

Also I would recommend you lay out who is responsible for transportation for access, when, where and account for no shows/needing alternate times.

ie. EX to pick child up to begin his access at X time at Y location, Tug to pick child up at X time at Y location to end access. If EX does not arrive by X+30 mins, then he will be considered a no show and Tug may make alternate arrangements.

For ALL access times, if either party requires alternate pick up/drop off times, then they must provide notice to the other party, IN WRITING (ie. via email) at least 48 hours in advance.
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Old 05-21-2010, 11:16 AM
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GREAT post!
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Old 05-21-2010, 11:33 AM
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Thanks....not hard to tell what MY separation agreement is eventually going to look like eh?

I have more, much more...I've been drafting and redrafting a settlement doc for what feels like forever. Damn thing is going to be huge, but if I don't draw it with crayon, then my ex takes advantage.
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Old 05-21-2010, 11:55 AM
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THANKS NB! That's really helpful. Now, I have to sit down and figure some of this stuff out.
It's just tough, if we are making final orders soon, things change once the child will be in school etc.
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Old 05-21-2010, 03:54 PM
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Account for school. Account for pretty well everything NOW. (Yes, even post secondary which is YEARS in the future).

It'll make things a LOT easier in the long run if you do this NOW.

(Otherwise guess what you get to do in a couple years when the kiddo starts? Yep, run RIGHT back to court and renegotiate all over again)
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Old 05-21-2010, 04:00 PM
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That's what I want to avoid but I want to be cautious too of setting some things in this agreement that I might not want in the future. I don't want to keep running and getting things changed etc. I want it over and done with and try to start going on with my life.
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Old 05-21-2010, 04:03 PM
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Couple more for you:

The parties shall share information with respect to health and education by e-mail except in the case of an emergency.

The parties agree that they will advise the other of any change of address/contact information within 2 business days of said change occurring.

That both parties as well as immediate and extended family may attend the children's special events (eg, concerts, competitions, recitals, etc.) without restriction and without regard to whose care the child is in at the time of the event.
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Old 05-21-2010, 04:13 PM
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What about things if child is sick/ parent can't forgo access for some reason/ makeup access /
Man, this can go forever.......................
How about not handing the bulk of access to having others taking care of child
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Old 05-21-2010, 04:16 PM
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Quote:
What about things if child is sick/ parent can't forgo access for some reason/ makeup access /
How much access are you settling with? Every other weekend + one weekday for him? 60-40? 50-50? Week on week off?

If you are in a shared custody arrangement NOW, then there should be any reason for make up access. If you are going with sole custody for you and access for him, then yeah, you may want to write that in.

Quote:
How about not handing the bulk of access to having others taking care of child
Unfortunately you cannot make the other person spend time with the kid. If they kick it off onto their parents or whatnot, there is not a lot you can do about it. You have to trust he will try to keep her best interests in mind.
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