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  • Question on schooling

    STBX and I are currently speperated since Dec 2012. We have 2 children, 3 and 5. We have had no court proceedings as of yet and are handling everything (or not handling) on our own. We have no offical agreements pertaining to anything in place. I have the children 4 nights a week, she has them 3 and during the day 6 days a week because she doesn't work and I do. She is very uncooperative on just about any issue, won't work with me on anything to move forward. My question is, I believe at some point she is going to get her own place (currently living with a family member). I do not believe she is going to consult with me on location in the city although I do believe it will be by her work that she goes back to eventually. My girl is in school 2 years now and boy starting in fall. I believe that she will just move and enroll them in a new school and carry on like there is no need for discussion with me on the matter.

    I plan on staying in the same area I am in now and would like to keep my daughter in her current school and also send her brother there. Being that we have nothing official in place and she probably will not consult with me on the matter of where my children will go to school, what are my options if she just moves forward and enrolls them in another school and tries to move on like I don't have a say? Is there anything I can do to pre-empt this?

    Thanks.

  • #2
    Onlybeginning....I moved out in November...however had by that time been trying to deal with a mediator....some basic ground rules were set specifically that neither parent would re-locate more than 30kms away. If I were to guess ...it would be that the separation is STILL very fresh and there is hurt and anger and resentment still in the forefront....so much so that she can't even think of discussing matters. Emails are a good way to communicate about things...to try to move forward. She may not respond because she may realize that it leaves you frustrated and twisting in the wind. Ask, suggest to meet with a mediator (a good one - mine wasn't - and a waste of 2k) to start moving. At least you will have a record of trying to establish some ground rules. Always good to have something hardcopy. Try to focus emails on the kids and what is in their best interests. A 'no-response' is still a response and shows her desire not to work together in the best interests of the kids...
    Just my thoughts.

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    • #3
      Without an agreement it can make it tough. How can she afford to move when she is not working?

      Most important thing is to resolve the issues and come to an agreement. Hire a lawyer use the site for support. Write up your agreement and present it to her. If she will not sign it offer mediation. If she declines to attend file a court order.

      It will be a lengthy process. Document everything and keep records. Only communicate through email. Try and seperate your emoitions and when she is angry and thows mud at you, don't put more gas on the fire.

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      • #4
        You have done very well if you are getting 4 evenings a week. I was in an almost identical situation last year: 3 and 5 year old daughters, non-working spouse. I have my daughters for 8 sleepovers a month, all on weekends, plus two 3 hour evening visits per week. My STBX leveraged the fact that she was not working to successfully reduce the number of overnghts I wanted. She is now trying to further reduce the time I have with our girls, and sadly it is going to court next week. If your ex is agreeable to your current parenting schedule which sounds close to a 50/50 arrangement, I would try to lock it down in a separation agreement now. A 50/50 arrangement should facilitate your ex getting back into the work force.The sep. agreement will also address the other issues you mention.

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