My Wife and I moved from the UK to Canada just over a year ago. We have two children, aged 6 and 8. Unfortunately our dream of a new life went terribly wrong and we separated in May of this year. My Wife has returned to the UK with our children and I made the hardest decision I have ever made. Right now I have chosen to stay in Canada. I have a year left of a college course and I wanted to try to keep the door open to my children one day being able to live in Canada, if they wish to.
My Wife didn’t take to Canada and returned to the UK very quickly after giving me the news that she wanted to go home and then, eventually, get a divorce. I knew we had a few problems but I never saw this coming.
I miss my children so much and I am struggling every day with the decision that I have made.
My mother had planned to visit us for 5 weeks in August. Because my Wife took the children so quickly from me, she agreed to let them return with my mum for a holiday in August. Promises were made and the tickets were booked and paid for. No cancellation insurance was taken out because everyone believed it was going to happen.
My Wife has now told me that, after seeking professional advice, she has decided it would not be good for the children’s mental well-being to come over in August. Saying goodbye to me twice in three months would be too hard on them. But I was allowed to visit them in the UK, if I wanted to ! This e-mail made no sense. If I went to visit them in the UK I would still have to say goodbye to them. The only difference would be they would lose out on a holiday and all the things we promised they could do – Camping, canoeing, swimming, days out etc.
I have e-mailed my Wife back and asked her to reconsider but she is avoiding me now.
I must point out that, although I am in hell right now, my children are ok. They are back at their old school surrounded by friends and family. They are happy and that is all that matters.
However, my worry is that if my Wife has broken the promises that she made to our boys then what other promises might she break.
Before she left Canada we both agreed that we would not think about selling the house for 2 years. This would give me a year to finish my college course and then a year to establish myself. We wrote this down and both signed it but no one witnessed it. It was just for our benefit really. I’m now worried that she might try to get me to sell our house early using the Partition Act.
We promised each other that our separation would be amicable, for the sake of the children. There was no anger between us. We have been married for 15 years and there was only sadness that this has happened. Unfortunately, she is now being influenced by her parents, who seem intent on causing trouble.
My understanding is that if she wanted me to sell the house she would need to use the services of an Ontario Lawyer. I have been told that a UK Lawyer would have limited (or no) power in Canada.
I would also need to employ a Canadian Lawyer. We would both spend a lot of money on Lawyers and forcing the sale of the house would take time anyway. This money would be better spent on the children. This would be even further complicated by the fact that we are living in different Countries. We should stick to the arrangement we both agreed upon. I don’t want to be in the middle of exams and get a letter out of the blue which causes problems.
I would appreciate any thoughts, comments or advice regarding my situation.
I apologise for such a lengthy post.
My Wife didn’t take to Canada and returned to the UK very quickly after giving me the news that she wanted to go home and then, eventually, get a divorce. I knew we had a few problems but I never saw this coming.
I miss my children so much and I am struggling every day with the decision that I have made.
My mother had planned to visit us for 5 weeks in August. Because my Wife took the children so quickly from me, she agreed to let them return with my mum for a holiday in August. Promises were made and the tickets were booked and paid for. No cancellation insurance was taken out because everyone believed it was going to happen.
My Wife has now told me that, after seeking professional advice, she has decided it would not be good for the children’s mental well-being to come over in August. Saying goodbye to me twice in three months would be too hard on them. But I was allowed to visit them in the UK, if I wanted to ! This e-mail made no sense. If I went to visit them in the UK I would still have to say goodbye to them. The only difference would be they would lose out on a holiday and all the things we promised they could do – Camping, canoeing, swimming, days out etc.
I have e-mailed my Wife back and asked her to reconsider but she is avoiding me now.
I must point out that, although I am in hell right now, my children are ok. They are back at their old school surrounded by friends and family. They are happy and that is all that matters.
However, my worry is that if my Wife has broken the promises that she made to our boys then what other promises might she break.
Before she left Canada we both agreed that we would not think about selling the house for 2 years. This would give me a year to finish my college course and then a year to establish myself. We wrote this down and both signed it but no one witnessed it. It was just for our benefit really. I’m now worried that she might try to get me to sell our house early using the Partition Act.
We promised each other that our separation would be amicable, for the sake of the children. There was no anger between us. We have been married for 15 years and there was only sadness that this has happened. Unfortunately, she is now being influenced by her parents, who seem intent on causing trouble.
My understanding is that if she wanted me to sell the house she would need to use the services of an Ontario Lawyer. I have been told that a UK Lawyer would have limited (or no) power in Canada.
I would also need to employ a Canadian Lawyer. We would both spend a lot of money on Lawyers and forcing the sale of the house would take time anyway. This money would be better spent on the children. This would be even further complicated by the fact that we are living in different Countries. We should stick to the arrangement we both agreed upon. I don’t want to be in the middle of exams and get a letter out of the blue which causes problems.
I would appreciate any thoughts, comments or advice regarding my situation.
I apologise for such a lengthy post.
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