Hi, second post here. My ex and I split 2+ years ago and currently share a six year old daughter.
At the time of the split, I told my ex I wanted 50-50 custody and she said in no uncertain terms that our daugther will reside with her and if I decided to push for more than my current access (alternate weekends and one week night a week) that she would bleed me dry in the legal system. It was a real threat as her family has deep pockets and her brother is a lawyer.
I have asked repeatedly for a change to 50-50 access and she repeatedly says no. My daughter constantly tells me she wants to see me more, she frequently puts up a fuss and gets upset and cries when I drop her off at her mum's... clearly my daughter wants to spend more time with me. A byproduct of this want is my daughter demanding to sleep in my bed with me to maximize what little time she does have with me (which I have to tell her no, all the time).
I have spoken to my lawyer about changing the separation agreement to gain more access and he said in order to gain more access if the mother is unwilling to oblige, I'd have to take her to court, which would cost at least $15,000 (that I don't have) and I'd still likely lose because according to him, the judges in Ottawa have a reputation of siding with the mother regardless of how good/responsible/diligent the father is.
I know when my daughter gets to age 12 or so, she can decide legally where she wants to live, but it kills me to think I have six (at least) more years of not having my daughter as much as we would both like... I'm quite certain my ex is being obstinant because she likes the support payments too much, and going 50-50 would see a 90% drop in support as our salaries are quite close.
Thoughts?
At the time of the split, I told my ex I wanted 50-50 custody and she said in no uncertain terms that our daugther will reside with her and if I decided to push for more than my current access (alternate weekends and one week night a week) that she would bleed me dry in the legal system. It was a real threat as her family has deep pockets and her brother is a lawyer.
I have asked repeatedly for a change to 50-50 access and she repeatedly says no. My daughter constantly tells me she wants to see me more, she frequently puts up a fuss and gets upset and cries when I drop her off at her mum's... clearly my daughter wants to spend more time with me. A byproduct of this want is my daughter demanding to sleep in my bed with me to maximize what little time she does have with me (which I have to tell her no, all the time).
I have spoken to my lawyer about changing the separation agreement to gain more access and he said in order to gain more access if the mother is unwilling to oblige, I'd have to take her to court, which would cost at least $15,000 (that I don't have) and I'd still likely lose because according to him, the judges in Ottawa have a reputation of siding with the mother regardless of how good/responsible/diligent the father is.
I know when my daughter gets to age 12 or so, she can decide legally where she wants to live, but it kills me to think I have six (at least) more years of not having my daughter as much as we would both like... I'm quite certain my ex is being obstinant because she likes the support payments too much, and going 50-50 would see a 90% drop in support as our salaries are quite close.
Thoughts?
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