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What to do - Do I call my D18 as witness to defend myself ?

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  • What to do - Do I call my D18 as witness to defend myself ?

    Hi community,

    BACKGROUND:

    As some of you know I have battled for and won my children back. All four.

    Now the hard part. There was an incident of DV during the marriage in 2012 - I would ask you not to judge, suffice to say I have taken full responsibility. STBX was caught stealing money meant as security for a business loan. Regardless, I reacted poorly and have paid a heavy price. Despite that I now have my children, the OCL has sided with me and STBX pays support. I am the APPLICANT.

    WHATS HAPPENING NOW:
    In early 2017, STBX amends pleadings for a claim of tort, claiming whiplash during an entirely fictitious and egregious account of the incident of DV.

    STBX claims to have discovered her injuries 30 months after DV, and very significantly after a self inflected head injury.

    I am very confident that STBX's claims will fail the "but for" test. That said,

    My D18 witnessed the assault, to which she agrees that the DV as described by STBX is utterly untrue, secondly, D18 saw the intervening event in which STBX injured her head, which seems to be the basis of STBX's claim.

    The relationship between STBX and children is non existent. STBX has chosen to pursue $$$ and litigation instead of children.

    I am prepared to provide compensation, but STBX saught damages will bankrupt me. So I must fight.

    QUESTION:

    Should I call D18 as a witness to the stand ? D18 could clearly rebut the baloney.

    PND

  • #2
    Did your daughter make a statement (at the time of the alleged DV) to the police?

    getting one's kids involved in divorce stuff is generally distasteful to judges (along with videotaping them and trying to use that for evidence).

    I'd tread very carefully here.

    Comment


    • #3
      You just seriously asked this?

      No. You don't. Find another way. Cheesus I thought you were the good guy.
      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
        You just seriously asked this?

        No. You don't. Find another way. Cheesus I thought you were the good guy.

        I apologize for the distasteful thread, but I am only asking D18 to mainly confirm the intervening events and to rebut the falsehoods.

        I made a mistake. I owned up. I have never ever lied to the courts or my children.

        I am the only stable parent my children have. I am very close with all of them. I can't take care of them if I'm living in a cardboard box eating cat food.

        I appreciate and understand the criticism, but I am looking for legal help, based on legal principles. Sanctimonious statements, while understandable, are not helpful.

        Comment


        • #5
          To my knowledge you can call anyone as a witness but I could be way off base. I don’t know how credible a judge would think the child would be but I suppose that’s a conversation you need to have with your 18 year old and see how they feel about it


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
            To my knowledge you can call anyone as a witness but I could be way off base. I don’t know how credible a judge would think the child would be but I suppose that’s a conversation you need to have with your 18 year old and see how they feel about it


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
            D18 is of the age of majority. Not a child. D18 and I have talked. She is comfortable with telling the truth. Because D18 is not a minor, I thought there would be no credibility issues in that regard.

            Comment


            • #7
              Keep in mind that any witnesses you call can (and likely will) be examined by OC.

              I thought you had sold your house and were now working on imputing income for your ex. I'm having difficulty grasping the relevance of a DV allegation from several years ago.

              Sure you'll likely take some flack from the other side about this past situation but sometimes it is better to just suck it up, let them take their jabs, and then move on.

              A good lawyer knows exactly what their witness is going to attest to. Court is pressure cooker. Are you certain of what your adult child(ren) will say in that environment with their mother staring them down?

              Judge will most certainly be thinking that having one's children (adult or not) testify in court will not in any way aid in reunification of the family. This action could backfire on you.

              Think this through carefully.

              Comment


              • #8
                I came across this while doing a cursory search on CanLii (Ontario):

                https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...&resultIndex=1

                It may or may not be of interest to you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by arabian View Post
                  Keep in mind that any witnesses you call can (and likely will) be examined by OC.

                  I thought you had sold your house and were now working on imputing income for your ex. I'm having difficulty grasping the relevance of a DV allegation from several years ago.

                  Sure you'll likely take some flack from the other side about this past situation but sometimes it is better to just suck it up, let them take their jabs, and then move on.

                  A good lawyer knows exactly what their witness is going to attest to. Court is pressure cooker. Are you certain of what your adult child(ren) will say in that environment with their mother staring them down?

                  Judge will most certainly be thinking that having one's children (adult or not) testify in court will not in any way aid in reunification of the family. This action could backfire on you.

                  Think this through carefully.

                  It's not just flack. I'm being sued for an insanely large damages amount for alleged whiplash based on a false narrative and several intervening events. I have to defend myself. While Im confident that the medical records and expert witness testimony would suffice, would I not be a fool notto allow a willing witness?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Surely the whiplash is a matter handled outside of family court? I'd be checking into whether or not the matter belongs in family court and go from there.

                    Personal injury lawyers don't typically go after small potatoes (you) and instead look to be paid by insurance companies.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Do you not have competent legal counsel to advise you on this stuff?
                      If there is an ongoing matter before another court the family court judge will not offer opinion, or likely allow any testimony, that would affect that matter. Furthermore, allowing your adult children to testify in family court could be a disaster for you in the personal injury/litigation lawsuit.

                      You need competent legal counsel.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I think something that you have to realize is that you have a) family court which deals with division of assets, child and spousal support and then you have b) criminal court which would deal with charges your ex or Crown has laid against you for assault. There should be no grey area.

                        I have read on this forum (for many years) on how men are the victims of false accusations. You might find it interesting that I was a victim of false accusation. My ex's g/f attempted to charge me with threatening her and her son. I was understandably furious at the time but fortunately I had an excellent divorce lawyer who told me to hire a criminal lawyer. I did this. I didn't even bother to attend court. Instead I hired a pro to represent me. The matter was dropped. The important thing is that it could never be used against me in family court. Sure, I could have gone to court and flung mud against my ex but to what end? The matter was a non-issue. There existed no transcript of testimony of witnesses that could be used against me. Money very well spent IMO.

                        I don't pretend to understand your situation but I do know that there comes a time when one has to step back and let someone fight for you. If handled properly, your ex's criminal litigation may very well be the nail in the coffin for her. It shouldn't be too difficult to show that your ex was so incensed of losing custody that she started the "whip-lash" litigation. Her credibility would be crushed.

                        I suspect that your ex has access to some $$ and is merely tormenting you. You need someone in your corner who can objectively address matter so you can get on with your life.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          Did your daughter make a statement (at the time of the alleged DV) to the police?

                          getting one's kids involved in divorce stuff is generally distasteful to judges (along with videotaping them and trying to use that for evidence).

                          I'd tread very carefully here.
                          No she did not. Nor was she given the opportunity.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by arabian View Post
                            Keep in mind that any witnesses you call can (and likely will) be examined by OC.

                            I thought you had sold your house and were now working on imputing income for your ex. I'm having difficulty grasping the relevance of a DV allegation from several years ago.
                            This is correct. STBX is the one who amended pleadings for claim of tort to strengthen spousal support claim along with with damages.
                            Originally posted by arabian View Post
                            Sure you'll likely take some flack from the other side about this past situation but sometimes it is better to just suck it up, let them take their jabs, and then move on.
                            These are more than jabs, its a claim, for tort that would leave me without a home and working until i die.

                            A good lawyer knows exactly what their witness is going to attest to. Court is pressure cooker. Are you certain of what your adult child(ren) will say in that environment with their mother staring them down?
                            All I need is the truth.

                            Judge will most certainly be thinking that having one's children (adult or not) testify in court will not in any way aid in reunification of the family. This action could backfire on you.
                            I know, and I agree. Thing is that bridge has been blown up long ago by STBX.

                            Think this through carefully.
                            I am, and thats why I'm on ODF.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by arabian View Post
                              Surely the whiplash is a matter handled outside of family court? I'd be checking into whether or not the matter belongs in family court and go from there.

                              Personal injury lawyers don't typically go after small potatoes (you) and instead look to be paid by insurance companies.
                              Nope, tort from DV is fairly common, unfortunately. These aren't PI lawyers, they're family lawyers looking to maximize claims.

                              Comment

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