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  • Ex refuses to sign sons passport and consent letter

    We are in need of help in the worst way.

    Bit of a back ground, we have sole custody with the ex having every other weekend and mid-week Wednesday, when she actually took those days. Anyhow, March 2009, they (Son & Bio-mom) were to have their Court appointed time being half of the March-break starting the Wed evening until Sunday evening 7 pm. We thought all was going well, until the drop off on Sunday evening and the moment his son walked through the threshold of our front door, he literally broke down. He was a heaving blithering mess. It took us nearly two or more hours trying to get him to calm down to try and figure out what was going on. The short story is that when she went to work on the Friday she left him with some guy and his son (new boyfriend). Has far as he knew, mom was living with this other guy and his two kids, she then throws this surprise on him with no warning, so he gets upset because he doesn’t know these people and doesn’t want to spend the day with them. There is a clause in the order, in which the Children’s Lawyer shared directly with our son, because ex does this type of stuff often. The clause is that “If the bio-mom has to work during any holiday access, the dad should be offered the first right of refusal in providing child care for hunter during this time.” Well when our son brought this up and that he wanted to call his dad to pick him up, she freaked out on him, pulled him into a back room where she shook him by the arm and told that she dared him to make that phone call, and if he did, she would make sure he would never see her or her family ever again. He was so freaked out about her actions that he just let the day gone on at this “new guys” house and waited to let his feelings go when he got home. If you only new this kid, his very happy go-lucky and for the most part nothing bothers him...except his mother. Don’t get me wrong I know that there are some kids who will make up things to just see the conflict, you could totally tell in his eyes that this was not the case...he was afraid of her! Never the less, the very next day we contacted the family doctor who hooked us up with some counselling for him to attend right away. My husband then went down to the FLIC office to see what he should do, he was advised to withhold the visitation and access at this point, that he was well within his rights to do so due to the safety and wellbeing of his son and this would allow time for a psychologist assessment to be done. At which time can than make the decision to either go back to court and make changes in the visitation and access, or request that they be supervised.
    <O</O
    Well, we didn’t even get that far, because during our sons assessments, she up and moved her residency yet again. As per Court Order she is to give my husband 24 hours written notice of any move, the complete address. The Court Order also states that “the respondent (Husband)to be permitted to visit the Applicant’s(Bio-mom) home this week with 48 hours notice, the Applicant’s mother to be in attendance for this visit. This provision will also engage if the Applicant changes her residence. The Applicant is also to provide the Respondent with the relevant information regarding any and all parties residing in her respective homes, including names and SIN’s. The Applicant also has the right to speak directly with the future residential partners.
    <O</O
    The long and the short of this, she gave us half an address and refuses to give the rest, or to follow the court order at all, because in her words “It’s just a guideline, we don’t have to follow everything”. So now she has not seen her son since March 2009. We have been back and forth to the FLIC office many times to make sure that we are well within our rights and we are. She actually served us with papers (sadly the day my father passed away with a long battle of cancer), the papers were a Motion to Change Child Support due to undue hardship. Big Laugh there, her hard ship she is claiming is that her credit cards are too high and she can’t make those payments, with having to pay the child support payments. Not once during this whole matter in June 2010 did she ask about her visitation and/or access with her son, or even how her son was doing.
    <O</O
    Now of course we need something from her and she is completely refusing. We need her to sign the passport application and the Consent letter to take him to a wedding to the Mayan Riviera. She is making extreme requests, like wanting me to involve my cousin and her fiancé, wanting a notarized letter from them stating that our son is part of their wedding party. She wants copies of the tickets, but we don’t get those until the day of departure at the terminal. And she also said that our son’s grades were not good enough for him to take a week off of school, but unfortunately the kid has always struggled with his grades, I don’t believe a week of fun is going to make much of a difference. Then she said in her email, if Hunter wanted to hear her reasoning from her he could give her a call. Well that would be fine if they speak. He has not spoken to her since before Christmas, and she wants to tell him why she won’t sign the papers...let me guess it’s your fathers fault!!!
    <O</O
    Anyhow, any ideas on what Court Forms, Rules from the FLA and/or Sections of the Children’s Law & Reform Act. I have gotten pretty good in filing out these documents, it would be better if I could get my hands on case law and/or precedents, in which we could add to our affidavit as an exhibit. Any ideas or suggestion would be greatly appreciated.

  • #2
    one thing that disturbs me is that you said she doesn't want him to go because of his grades. Your attitude is he is doing shitty in school anyways so it doesn't matter. You and your partner have a duty to put his schooling and grades before anything else. You know there are issues so why are you not focusing on that? You are giving him the impression that school really doesn't matter. How old is the child?

    She is not being a great role model for the child either and she should have never left the child with strangers until she had a chance to introduce them and observe them together.

    Why do you need the SIN of anyone living with her?? To me that is over the top. Same for the right to talk directly to future partners and to inspect her home with 48hours notice. To me that is way to controlling. Does she have the same rights? If she does is it also written in the court order?

    Comment


    • #3
      I am sorry, I should have been more clear. Our son's granmother who is an ex-teacher and the bio-mom, comes every wednesday and ever other saturday to work with Hunter and he studies. He is showing great improvement this year. We have already spoken to his teachers and they agree that this 1 wk trip would not affect his studies.

      Furthermore, the Order is very distictive about her houseing issues because of her history. She oes not stay in one place for long, nor does she sta with one man. Even before the split she was bringing her son along to meet new men and having sexual interactions with these men while her son was watching TV. She would then have the guy drop them back off at home and threaten her son not say anything to dad...or else. It was a very sick situation.

      With all of thi being said, when we went to court and got the childrens lawyer invovled, she was not impressed with bi-mom at all. But as she said it is not in their nature to take away all visitation. The wanted to see if they gave her small amounts of visitation and very dirct things to follow on te order that she might straighten her life up. Well never the lest, it hasn't. She up and moved and refuses to tell us where she lives. We have half an address and how can any parent send their child for a visit and no know where thy are sending, epecially with a histoy like hers.

      Thank you very much for yor unbiased opinion, however, we really need to know anything about having the court make her sign the Passport and Consent letter, or is it possible to get a Moton to Dispence with her Signature. I need the know te FLA Rules we would be governed under, or if there is a section under the CRA. Does Anyone know of any actual Case Law or precendents e could use, those are always helpful.

      I hope this straightens the isue a little, thanks again.

      Comment


      • #4
        So, is there any way to avoid having to have them sign for a passport or a consent form? Especially if travel is less than 48 hours?
        Can you make it part of the agreement?

        Comment


        • #5
          You said right at the beginning that "we have sole custody... ". I assume that means the Bio Dad has Sole Custody.

          So fill in the Passport Application and take the custody agreement/court order (whatever official documents you have stating that Dad has Sole Custody) to the Passport Office. I don't think that you need Mom's signature if he has Sole Custody.

          I also don't think that you need a Consent for Travel if Dad has Sole Custody. Just make sure that you have the official original documents with you to prove it.

          Comment


          • #6
            Sole custody does not matter in a passport application. Both parents are required to sign.

            Comment


            • #7
              The NCP's signature is not required if
              - NCP is not named on the birth certificate as a parent and there is no court order (or current court actions) regarding access/custody, or
              - if NCP's access is described on the court order as only 'reasonable access' (as opposed to a specific access schedule).

              Call Passport Canada and ask them what your options are. But I think that you would need a court order that contains a clause indicating that NCP agrees with all passport applications (or a notarized agreement stating the same).

              Again, you could get a court order to dispense with the need for consent letter (or to get a notarized blanket 'for all travel' consent letter).

              Either parent, regardless of custody, can get asked to show a consent letter by border guards. If a custodial parent takes their child out of country without other parent's consent, it IS abduction.

              Comment


              • #8
                The signature of a ncp parent IS required on a passport application if the agreement/court order specifies access. If you have tangible proof from the ncp that s/he is refusing to sign the passport application you can take that to the passport office with all the other required documents, photos fees etc. and the granting of a passport is up to the discretion of the manager of that passport office.
                Every citizen of Canada is entitled to a passport.
                Even happily married parents need a travel letter when they travel solo with their children. I supplied my ex with a detailed itinerary and copies of all our passports when I travelled with our kids outside of Canada when I gave him a travel letter to sign. I expect the same from him if he travels outside of Canada with our kids.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by ATMYWITSEND View Post
                  I am sorry, I should have been more clear. Our son's granmother who is an ex-teacher and the bio-mom, comes every wednesday and ever other saturday to work with Hunter and he studies. He is showing great improvement this year. We have already spoken to his teachers and they agree that this 1 wk trip would not affect his studies.

                  Furthermore, the Order is very distictive about her houseing issues because of her history. She oes not stay in one place for long, nor does she sta with one man. Even before the split she was bringing her son along to meet new men and having sexual interactions with these men while her son was watching TV. She would then have the guy drop them back off at home and threaten her son not say anything to dad...or else. It was a very sick situation.

                  With all of thi being said, when we went to court and got the childrens lawyer invovled, she was not impressed with bi-mom at all. But as she said it is not in their nature to take away all visitation. The wanted to see if they gave her small amounts of visitation and very dirct things to follow on te order that she might straighten her life up. Well never the lest, it hasn't. She up and moved and refuses to tell us where she lives. We have half an address and how can any parent send their child for a visit and no know where thy are sending, epecially with a histoy like hers.

                  Thank you very much for yor unbiased opinion, however, we really need to know anything about having the court make her sign the Passport and Consent letter, or is it possible to get a Moton to Dispence with her Signature. I need the know te FLA Rules we would be governed under, or if there is a section under the CRA. Does Anyone know of any actual Case Law or precendents e could use, those are always helpful.

                  I hope this straightens the isue a little, thanks again.
                  yep that clears it up. ty

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I would not waste any time trying to deal with the mother. Just make an application to the court to dispense with her rights to the passport issue. Since she has not seen the child in over a year, you should not have much difficulty getting a judge to agree.

                    Comment

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