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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:20 PM
Looking4Answers Looking4Answers is offline
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Default Family Law Statue - Best Interest of Children

Under the family law act you have support with respect to the fact you were abused. Hope this helps.

Order for exclusive possession: criteria
(3) In determining whether to make an order for exclusive possession, the court shall consider,
(a) the best interests of the children affected;
(b) any existing orders under Part I (Family Property) and any existing support orders;
(c) the financial position of both spouses;
(d) any written agreement between the parties;
(e) the availability of other suitable and affordable accommodation; and
(f) any violence committed by a spouse against the other spouse or the children. R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3, s. 24 (3).
  #12  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:22 PM
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Default Links for Statues

Here is the link as well. You can go into each section and go to edit and type in the words you are looking for and when they come up they lead you to the statues.

Family Law Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3
  #13  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:23 PM
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Don't allow him to treat you like a door mat!!!! He just doesn't know what to do with you if you start speaking up. Just stay focused on your child, schedule and routine, offer things around that routine and if he can't deal with it or is making it hard, tell your lawyer.
Children need routine and consistency. It's a proven fact. Keep that and state that to him and if he demands anything more talk to your lawyer.
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Old 03-29-2010, 10:32 PM
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Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Smooth move.


What a champ. Better than ever.

You liked that! What does he gain by doing so? He's trying to prove I make it impossible for him to gain access to his daughter.
  #15  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:40 PM
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Tugofwar - others have told me the same. Control, I feel controlled by him still and abused still. I am so sad, I dont believe that anything will come from his alligations of my "psychologicall wellbeing and my ability to parent - our baby", but part of me isn't sure!!! Sometimes I doubt myself, but then I know I am a great mom. I love her, I nurse her when she asks, I play with her, I hold her and hug her and kiss her. I take her for walks, and her apointments, I dont yell or anything like that at her, shes always clean and happy. Just reading what he says hurts!!! I keep trying to talk to myself, like, if he is so concerned about her, then why is he just asking for joint custody? I have a 13 year old, she is an excellent student - A's & B's, she is respectful, loving, honest, well manered teen. I rasied her myself, doesnt that say something? Isn't this kind of stuff he's doing ruining his own chances for joint custody? I say the same tugofwar - he is just interested in whats best for himself, not her. I hope the courts see it too. Stuff like this makes me want sole custody even more, he scares me! Am I wrong??

Also, anyone know what would be considered "all treating medical professionals"? his lawyer wants all of my "medical clinical notes and records" from them. Obviously family doctor, who else? My midwife? cousellors? therapists?

I'm tired... hard to stay strong...
  #16  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:43 PM
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dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
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Originally Posted by tugofwar View Post
You liked that! What does he gain by doing so? He's trying to prove I make it impossible for him to gain access to his daughter.
He's being a d**k.
  #17  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:52 PM
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Originally Posted by tugofwar View Post
Don't allow him to treat you like a door mat!!!! He just doesn't know what to do with you if you start speaking up. Just stay focused on your child, schedule and routine, offer things around that routine and if he can't deal with it or is making it hard, tell your lawyer.
Children need routine and consistency. It's a proven fact. Keep that and state that to him and if he demands anything more talk to your lawyer.

I try... dammit... haha.. on one occasion, i droped her off. it was 9:30am. Lawyers letter stated her dropp off time was to be sometime in the morning according to her scedule. most times it was 10am. well her nursings were starting earlier in the morining, then she would nurse every 2-2 1/2 hours. she nursed at 9, best to drop her off at 9:30. makes sense right!? So I get there, right off the bat - your early - (no hi baby, so happy to see you....) I said its according to her schedule, he says "well. dont worry , that will change soon (all antagonistic)

Looking4answers - I only have a few things for proof of abuse - none of his abuse was physical - I have a letter he wrote stating he knows he was neglectful and distant, I have the fact I called the police, and I have the marriage therapist - I told her, with him there an incident where he was verbally and emotionally abusive which he addmitted to saying. thats it. I dont know if the courts will see that as enough. The rest I have is all my word against his, and there are a lot, 40 typed pages of incidents. Hopefully the judge will ook at it as there is something in there that is the truth. Oh I have my daughter as well, she witnessed a lot of it, but my lawyer says that a judge is going to frown on using her as a witness. Another witness I have to an incident is his sister, not likely she will testify for me. The exclusive possession is not a factor here. I moved out, and I am now in geared to income housing. I can't afford the home even if he let me stay there, the mortgage is too much!!! But thank you!! I will look into that link.
  #18  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRG2010 View Post
Tugofwar - others have told me the same. Control, I feel controlled by him still and abused still. I am so sad, I dont believe that anything will come from his alligations of my "psychologicall wellbeing and my ability to parent - our baby", but part of me isn't sure!!! Sometimes I doubt myself, but then I know I am a great mom. I love her, I nurse her when she asks, I play with her, I hold her and hug her and kiss her. I take her for walks, and her apointments, I dont yell or anything like that at her, shes always clean and happy. Just reading what he says hurts!!! I keep trying to talk to myself, like, if he is so concerned about her, then why is he just asking for joint custody? I have a 13 year old, she is an excellent student - A's & B's, she is respectful, loving, honest, well manered teen. I rasied her myself, doesnt that say something? Isn't this kind of stuff he's doing ruining his own chances for joint custody? I say the same tugofwar - he is just interested in whats best for himself, not her. I hope the courts see it too. Stuff like this makes me want sole custody even more, he scares me! Am I wrong??

Also, anyone know what would be considered "all treating medical professionals"? his lawyer wants all of my "medical clinical notes and records" from them. Obviously family doctor, who else? My midwife? cousellors? therapists?

I'm tired... hard to stay strong...
Listen, don't worry about him or what he thinks! That's the first step! I was the same before, didn't want to rock the boat, I didn't want to upset him and in the meantime my daughter was suffering because I was thinking of him and not her.

Have you tried any type of counselling? I strongly recommend it! Honestly, the best thing I have ever done for myself and my daughter. Ive learned to put her first!

I go back and forth to about joint and sole but honestly "I strongly believe that it is in my daughter's best interest to have sole custody!"

Just do your best for your children! All that you mentioned about that you do, does he do the same?
Just think of all the great things you plan on doing with your child. How you will continue feeding them emotionally, and educate etc.
Make a parenting plan for the child. What do you plan on doing to ensure your child has the best life possible.

As for him, forget about him. STEP 1!
  #19  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:57 PM
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What are your plans? Did you mention going to court soon? As for the abuse, emotional will probably be hard to prove etc.
Focus on why you are the good parent. If you focus too much about all his faults etc I don't think the judge will care.
Like I said, make a parenting plan, think of all the things that make you a good parent and focus on that. That's all I have.
  #20  
Old 03-29-2010, 10:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
He's being a d**k.
thanks, im glad i read it from a male!
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