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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 12-13-2018, 02:25 PM
YoungDad23 YoungDad23 is offline
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Default Other Parent Just Married a US Citizen - What Now?

Mom of S5 has recently married someone who lives and works in the US, at least for the time being. He seems to be spending every weekend up here in Canada at her home.

First of all, if he's good to her and S5, I'm super happy for them so don't get all twisted thinking that them getting married is upsetting me cuz it's not.

I need to know how this potentially affects our reaching a new parenting agreement, negotiations are underway, and currently not going very well with her balking every step of the way, especially regarding me having more parenting time with S5.

At her request, we are getting ready to go to mediation in the new year. My main concern is how the changes in her life are affecting S5 and his future in my life.

For instance, Mom has been on OW since child's birth and now she's married a non-Canadian, who doesn't reside here, does that mean she is no longer eligible for her income from OW and also the medical and dental benefits provided?

I have a good benefit plan at work and would gladly put him on my plan if he is no longer eligible with OW (would also do it in a heartbeat if there were medical/dental treatment that isn't covered by OW) but there has been no request ever for me to do this.

Also, if mediation breaks down and we have to back to court, will she be still able to have a lawyer paid for through Legal Aid or does his income come into play when determining eligibility?

We spent over 2 years in family court trying to get custody and parenting time settled the first time with her on Legal Aid's dime and me the self-repped Applicant. I'm certainly not looking forward to going that route again.

I've been told that the new husband is currently looking for work up here but from my understanding even though they married she would be ineligible to sponsor him to come to Canada because of having been on OW and no employment EVER that I know of.

It's all very strange a lot of what I'm being told by my son's mom just doesn't make a lot of sense.

Constructive info or advice on how this affects things moving forward would be appreciated.

YD23
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Old 12-13-2018, 03:12 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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I think things just got a lot more dangerous for you. There are potential relocation issues in play. Maybe new dude decides to sponsor mom moving to the states, and a judge Goertz's you out of your kid.


Settle your damn custody schedule. Do it separately from your financial issues if you must. But get something in writing that says that you have shared custody.
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Old 12-13-2018, 04:00 PM
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Random slightly relevant case


https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...8onsc7309.html


I know, it is different in many ways, but this is the stuff that scares me at night. At the end of the day, you can be a good parent and still lose your kid because the mom marries and moves.
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Old 12-13-2018, 04:44 PM
YoungDad23 YoungDad23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
I think things just got a lot more dangerous for you. There are potential relocation issues in play. Maybe new dude decides to sponsor mom moving to the states, and a judge Goertz's you out of your kid.


Settle your damn custody schedule. Do it separately from your financial issues if you must. But get something in writing that says that you have shared custody.
Thanks Janus for the good advice and caselaw. I have joint custody and there are very tight mobility, travel and passport clauses in our final order.

I totally agree to settle the parenting schedule separate from the financial stuff if she is cooperative.

I have deep battle scars from when S5 was an infant and false allegations of abuse were made against me and expect this could be the go to tactic again to gain leverage now that she is married.

I am safeguarding myself every way I know how at exchanges to prevent being falsely accused of anything and fully expect it to get worse before things are settled.

So far there hasn't been any denial of scheduled access but any flexibility for my work schedule or the upcoming holidays shown in years past has disappeared.

Just hope she isn't prepared to go as far as the horror stories I have read on here to get her way.
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Old 12-23-2018, 10:28 AM
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In addition to Janus' comments:

50-50 access schedule is the only true defense to mobility matters like yours. If you don't have 50-50 access then you can easily find yourself on the losing side of a mobility case.

Furthermore, the new Divorce Act that is coming puts in a lot of structure into mobility. So hopefully it doesn't happen until the new Divorce Act comes into play. But, don't bet on legislative changes... Get 50-50 access settled ASAP.

60-40 is not good enough as Janus demonstrated in that case law.
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Old 01-09-2019, 05:27 PM
YoungDad23 YoungDad23 is offline
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Thanks Tayken, good advice. I'm working on it right now.
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