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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #11  
Old 12-03-2013, 05:02 PM
shoretyus shoretyus is offline
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Get out your records bank./tax/visa etc.. get ALL your taxes as back as far as you can go.

The house is in her name. So technically you are entitled to half of the increase in equity in the thirteen years.

The spousal support and half the equity would probably give you a higher percentage of the house. Depending on numbers.

Unlike marriage. SS is based on the time you where together.

I doubt you'll get any child support.

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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I would also suggest that you tap into your local community for assistance. Find out if there is a men's shelter in your area. They may be able to direct you to a lawyer or other resources that are better suited for your situation.

Document everything.

If your ex is currently preventing you from receiving medical treatment (assuming she provided for this throughout your relationship) then that would be very important information. Of course, you would have to have documentation to substantiate your allegations.

I would finally say that as most people in your situation are female, you probably will have an uphill battle on your hands simply because your situation is out of the norm. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, rather just that it goes on unreported. A men's support group might be very helpful for you right now.
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  #12  
Old 12-03-2013, 05:20 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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Moved to new thread.
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  #13  
Old 12-03-2013, 08:44 PM
MohGrana MohGrana is offline
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This is what a female lawyer told me after an hour and half consultation. I think you guys forgot about the fact that this relationship is considered and can prove it as Family Law Venture. So, all the comments I am getting are definitely appreciated and seems that her lawyer has advised her with the tactic. But, it will backfire on her, as how can I move out if she is not helping in any way, by taking the credit card which is on both names, and I used to pay for it as well. I just got ill and was in the middle of changing I never said I was not working at all, and did not. Now, I am unemployed and actively looking for a a steady job, and she is to blame for me not being functioning as she is pressuring too much.
The judge would look at our history and the bond with my daughter which is her step-mother, and regardless if she is not her biological mother, as she has established a 13 years relationship, so that just going to disappear. Moving out the house which my daughter and I consider a matrimonial is also in dispute, and I can prove all my work in the house, as this is an unjust enrichment case, as well express trust. Yes, it would be an uphill battle but she has more to lose than me, as she is not being nice and no one is above the law. I have contributed the best I could in this relationship and this should be enough, and I can call on tons of witnesses to prove that we were just like husband and wife. Plus, we are separating because we do not see eye to eye in marriage, as I wanted marriage to get the blessing of God in this union and she does not believe in marriage. She can come up with any excuse, but that is the bottom lime. By the way, there is nothing I need to prove in terms of SS, it is obvious and she is willing to negotiate it, and I am entitled to a share or half of the equity, period and whether I want to pursue or not, that is another story. Plus, I am 48 and have multiple health issues, and she is triggering chest pain and that is an abuse in my book as she is negating my rights and using strong language with me as I am a peaceful man, but I wont give up my rights.

I need help filling out form 8 and 13.1. can anybody help me?

Thank you.
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  #14  
Old 12-03-2013, 08:57 PM
MohGrana MohGrana is offline
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I have documented my anxiety and panic attacks caused by her by depriving from the use of the car, and am broke and anything I make goes into the house and for our daughter. I need to say that this is for the best of our daughter, and it is hers. She could end up paying child support, but that is not really my concern. I need to stop her from trying to evict us. I also need to start a legal process in order to request interm spousal support. Is not a form of abuse to leave you with nothing to eat, and transportation as she takes off almost every weekend, and she knows I need the vehicle for my doctor's appointment, and specially knowing that we have not finalized the separation agreement. So, basically she has not obligation to me right now, true... but I am in need, and it is nor because I want to, but this is the situation we are in. I believe she would look bad, as I have really multiple health issues and all documented and have a doctor's note. I believe she needs a reality check, and if I get a lawyer this case can be built very strong, as she is shown her true colors, aggressive, violent, abusive, bully and threatening to kill herself whenever I speak about our rights, more specifically mine, and it this is a form of distortion.... what is?
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  #15  
Old 12-03-2013, 10:11 PM
shellshocked22 shellshocked22 is offline
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As always, you should have a good lawyer but a few thoughts....

-you are NOT married therefore there is no automatic splitting of assets. Whoever's name the asset is in that's who it belongs to. Yes, you can try for unjust enrichment but the onus is on YOU to prove why you should get a portion. My understanding is that it can be time consuming and expensive in legal fees. Is the potential pay off worth it ?

-you seem to think that she can't be "mean" to you. While no doubt upsetting, courts really don't care. Let's face it, couples breaking up tend to fight !

-you may have a case for spousal support and "maybe" child support - see "in loco parentis. Where is the child's biological mother ? Personally, going after the non-biological parent where there isn't formal adoption seems sleazy to me. The child is yours, NOT hers ! Go after the REAL mother, not someone who was nice enough to help care for someone else's child while you were together.

I would suggest trying to talk it out between you and work out something fair - beware of lawyers who will try to escalate the fight and drain legal fees from you both.
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  #16  
Old 12-04-2013, 12:44 AM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Quote:
This is what a female lawyer told me after an hour and half consultation. I think you guys forgot about the fact that this relationship is considered and can prove it as Family Law Venture.
This is an interesting thread for anyone dealing with a common law situation

Quote:
Joint Family Venture

A court can make a finding that a joint family venture exists. The court can base this on the conduct of unmarried domestic partners. A joint family venture may be inferred where parties:
i. accepted themselves as equivalent to married
ii. held themselves out as married
iii. lived in a lengthy stable relationship and held title jointly or, if alone, showed little concern on living financially separate
iv. made plans for property distribution on death (made wills together)
v. collaborated on common goals, pooled efforts, raised children, were economically integrated.
The courts will also consider the length of the relationship. Not every common law relationship is automatically a joint family venture.
The court can award the non-owner spouse a share of the property, if a joint family venture is found. This can occur regardless of who may have purchased the property or who is the registered owner of the property.
While this attorney that you spoke to (is she the one you retained?) thinks this is a good strategy to go by...I would caution you that this definition under family law is both new and the bar for it is high. I'm not suggesting its not possible only that it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities that this one attorney you spoke to wants to engage you in litigation that may not have a high probability of success and be in your best interest longterm. It happens all the time.

Case name:

SCC Cases (Lexum) - Kerr v. Baranow

Quote:
But, it will backfire on her, as how can I move out if she is not helping in any way, by taking the credit card which is on both names, and I used to pay for it as well.
Even in marriage situations, she's not required to financially support you during separation at all. Its common practice and sound practice to close all joint accounts during the separation process. That you "used to" pay for the credit card account is irrelevant. She did the right thing by cutting this off.

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Now, I am unemployed and actively looking for a a steady job, and she is to blame for me not being functioning as she is pressuring too much
She's not to blame for you being unemployed. In-home separations are stressful...you should be segregating yourself in the home and not engaging her in disputes. I'm not sure what remedy that you're expecting to get here legally but I can tell you that it won't happen. She's not responsible for you being unemployed and she's not responsible to support you because you are.

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Yes, it would be an uphill battle but she has more to lose than me, as she is not being nice and no one is above the law.
Forgive me but this actually made me laugh pretty hard. Believe me, if "not being nice" led to some legal remedy in family law...particularly a financial one....you'd be talking to a forum full of billionaires right now. You really need to lose the "victim" mentality. It doesn't serve you very well in life and won't in court either. You're an adult with a child and are responsible for yourself. She's not your mommy.

Quote:
I believe she needs a reality check, and if I get a lawyer this case can be built very strong, as she is shown her true colors, aggressive, violent, abusive, bully and threatening to kill herself whenever I speak about our rights, more specifically mine, and it this is a form of distortion....

Plus, I am 48 and have multiple health issues, and she is triggering chest pain and that is an abuse in my book as she is negating my rights and using strong language with me as I am a peaceful man,
Actually its good that you came to this forum because I actually think its you who needs a reality check. You certainly have a case but I don't think its nearly as extensive as you think it is. And like most new litigants, you're confused as to what is relevant and not relevant for family law. For instance, none of the stuff that I underlined is relevant. But you'll find that out soon enough. The question is...how much time and money are you going to waste to do it?

Quote:
I have documented my anxiety and panic attacks caused by her by depriving from the use of the car, and am broke and anything I make goes into the house and for our daughter.
If the car is in her name and you're not working, I'm not sure why you expect that she has to provide you with use of her vehicle. You can get to your medical appointments by a variety of methods. Borrowing a ride from a friend or family member, taxi, bus, bike, etc. I'm not sure what you're expecting to get out of documenting an anxiety attack that you claim you had because she won't give you her car?

Quote:
I need to say that this is for the best of our daughter, and it is hers. She could end up paying child support, but that is not really my concern.
Like Shellshocked said, you can do a search on "in loco parentis" on this forum. How is the CS situation between you and the child's bio mom handled? This may have an affect on CS from your new ex if you pursue it.

Quote:
I need to stop her from trying to evict us. I also need to start a legal process in order to request interm spousal support.
You need a lawyer and one that isn't blowing smoke to increase conflict and thus inflate your legal bill. I have a feeling that you consulted with 4 attorneys because 3 of them didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. I think its good to shop around for an attorney that works for you but I truly caution you to avoid getting a high-conflict attorney because you really have a difficult case here. You have an uphill battle and I'd implore you to show reason about what you can accomplish legally. Your posts are wayyyy off of what in reality will probably happen, in my opinion.

Quote:
I believe she would look bad, as I have really multiple health issues and all documented and have a doctor's note.
With all due respect, I disagree. I think she's being prudent and wise. She's trying to protect her assets. She's gotten legal advice and she's given you reasonable notice to vacate and cut off common accounts. This is pretty standard stuff. Again, I don't think you're not going to get really far with the "she's a meanie" legal strategy. I would suggest that there's a certain expectation that 48 year olds are somewhat self-sufficient. But I have a feeling that you're going to barrelling down this road no matter what anyone says here.

You definitely have a very interesting case and it will be fascinating to see how you handle it and the outcome. Good luck!

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 12-04-2013 at 12:57 AM.
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  #17  
Old 12-04-2013, 06:48 PM
MohGrana MohGrana is offline
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I think I am naive, but not stupid and I am not victimizing myself. I also think that last person who replied and took the work to respond is a woman who would sympathize with her gender. I might need a reality check, and so does she. By the way all the lawyers told me the same thing, and you know what she has more to lose, as you do not know all the story, and just for starters she use to be an alcoholic, and helped her stay sober and quit. Plus she has anger problems, and does not believe in marriage because of her parents divorce as she lived it, and has many psychological problems. If this goes court, I will show the facts and bring all the witnesses who know us a a couple and basically as a married, and even her mother can testify this if she does not lie.

I believe the last comment about my case was very helpful as I now know that we live in very dangerous place, but believe me I will fight for what it is mine and justice always prevails.

I think the gender bias is happening in this forum, and I am not expecting any sympathy and I will keep it professional with facts than emotions, as a few people are compassionate towards their spouse when they separate. I have a lot to say about this case, and it is not that simple that after 13 years, a spouse just because he or she has assets on her name mean they are entirely his or hers. With a good representation of the facts and many other factors that played a great role in this relationship, I can assure you she will lose a lot.

If I am wrong, that is fine but I have read many cases of unjust enrichment and express trust, and this one of them How did she achieve this great career of her? with my support as a spouse and I have deprived myself from advancing in my life and career sacrificing it for the sake our family, and now bye bye, everything is hers. How about my contributions? and all my sacrifices, so when things are good, it is all ours otherwise they are hers.
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  #18  
Old 12-04-2013, 07:04 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MohGrana View Post
believe me I will fight for what it is mine and justice always prevails.
This isn't true, unfortunately. In family law, it's primarily all about who has the best lawyer and who can pay them longer, not justice.

As for your situation, I don't think it's necessarily gender bias, though probably there's a certain amount of that still entrenched in family law.

What you're running up against is the difference between separation of a married couple, and separation of a common-law couple. Equalization and support are done quite differently. In marriage breakdown, everything is shared 50-50, especially the matrimonial home, no matter whose name is on what. In common-law breakdown, you each keep the assets in your name, and only joint possessions are shared out. In marriage breakdown, there are more entitlements to spousal support due to financial partnerships and assumptions. In common-law, it's all about what you can prove.

So you have an uphill battle ahead of you for your common-law breakdown to be treated like a marriage breakdown.

You would be far better off negotiating with your ex than getting court involved. Your first post indicated that she wanted to negotiate spousal support with you, so she does seem to acknowledge some sort of entitlement. So start respectfully negotiating it with her instead of whining about how she is treating you.

Do your research about the legal differences in the two types of marriage breakdown, and then you can negotiate with her from a position of knowledge, and a realistic idea about what might be successful if you had to fight in court. Because going to court is the best way to have all the money you are fighting over taken away from BOTH of you and given to lawyers.
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  #19  
Old 12-04-2013, 09:05 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Quote:
and you know what she has more to lose
Well as she's the only one working, I'm sure she does have more to lose. But if you think for one minute that you're going to get off without a giant legal bill given what you've stated your goals are...you're out of your mind. You'd be wise to listen to the people who've been through the family law process. Its not like a TV court case. You don't even understand the difference between allegations vs evidence. You don't understand that 90% of what you type in your posts is completely irrelevant to your case.

Quote:
and just for starters she use to be an alcoholic, and helped her stay sober and quit. Plus she has anger problems, and does not believe in marriage because of her parents divorce as she lived it, and has many psychological problems. If this goes court, I will show the facts and bring all the witnesses who know us a a couple and basically as a married, and even her mother can testify this if she does not lie.
All of this is completely irrelevant. It proves nothing and using her mother or other witnesses as a negative advocates will not help you. Judges don't care about bullcrap affidavits. Half the time, they don't even read them. They care about settling cases by dealing with real issues...not listening to a bunch of people spouting slanderous crap.

By the way, I find it interesting that you are trying to prove a family law venture and yet keep saying that she doesn't believe in marriage. Do you even understand that that is contrary to what you're trying to prove since she didn't view herself as married to you?

Quote:
I think the gender bias is happening in this forum,
Actually if you were a female, I'd tell you exactly the same thing. That you're a grown adult and parent and need to be self-supporting through the separation process. It can take up to a year to get an order for SS once you prove that you're even entitled. And the divorce process is extremely expensive. She won't be paying for that, you will. So if you want to have this huge, costly case you're talking about including slanderous affidavits from all these negative advocates...you're gonna need some money.

Quote:
a spouse just because he or she has assets on her name mean they are entirely his or hers
She's not your spouse...didn't view herself as your spouse and assets that are in her name are absolutely hers in a common law situation. You have an expensive uphill battle to prove entitlement to her assets. The only thing you may be eligible currently is potentially some value in the house asset IF you can prove unjust enrichment...and you need evidence for that. And you may be entitled to SS since you are unemployed. You'll have to prove in loco parentis for CS and that's another uphill battle.

Quote:
With a good representation of the facts and many other factors that played a great role in this relationship, I can assure you she will lose a lot.
You seem hell bent on making her "lose a lot" but you'll lose too. You have an entitled mentality that leads you to believe its just her that will pay but that's far from reality. That's how I know you're completely off base. You seem hell bent on punishing her but that's not how it works. You're going to understand what I'm saying very, very soon. You haven't even started down the rabbit hole yet...it gets much worse.

Quote:
with my support as a spouse and I have deprived myself from advancing in my life and career sacrificing it for the sake our family,
Did you give up a career to raise children that you had with her? I don't get what you're talking about here. You have a child with someone else and are a grown man. How did she possibly stop you from advancing in your career. You are not married to this woman and are in a common law situation. You actually have to prove entitlement to SS and she has a pretty good argument not to pay you.

This isn't gym class. A doctor's note isn't necessarily going to excuse you from having an income imputed to you.

If you have good paper records (not hearsay) of the financial contributions you made, you may recoup some of what you put in...but you won't win any huge financial winfall.

Honestly, you're in for a rude awakening. You have no idea right now how little the things you think are important are going to matter in court.

If you had any sense, you'd negotiate with her. It sounds like she has a very good understanding of the process and how to start doing things...like cutting off joint assets.

Like I said, you need a reality check...unlike you, I've been dealing with the family law system for almost 4 years.

You're actually too clueless to have a healthy fear of what this process it entails. Its not what you think it is...wait until the first time a judge cuts you off and tells you that he/she doesn't want to listen to any more irrelevant nonsense that you don't have hard evidence for. Its coming...don't say I didn't warn you.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 12-04-2013 at 09:22 PM.
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  #20  
Old 12-05-2013, 06:38 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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might as well forget trying to explain it to him PH. He only wants to hear that he will win, wont cost him any money and that she will pay for being a "mean" person to him. Its going to be interesting if he finds a lawyer who will be honest with him.

To the OP time to put on your big boy pants and move on with your life. If its so bad living at your ex common law partners place then MOVE. Maybe in with one of these friends who will come to court with you. Your child (not hers) deserves to live in a better place if there is that much hostility, or are you going to be a meanie to your child and make her live there?
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