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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-17-2012, 06:47 PM
Canucks Canucks is offline
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Default Ex filled false allegations in court - now withdrawing - should i let her go....

I file for simple divorce asked for nothing from her.
My wife replies with slew of charges (from abuse, mental harassment, restraining orders and other 100 false allegations)
I provide for proof of whatever I could - and maintain my ask for divorce while other things are settled.
Year later - my motion for divorce is granted with pending case for settlement
Months pass I repeatedly ask my EX to send me proof of what I had taken from her so we can settle the case...
But as usual no response ...
So now she wants to withdraw the case....
Q: Should i let her withdraw the case?
Q: Should she be let go.. as she drove me nuts for 2 year with all these false allegations, made me run around? Delayed the case...
Q: I am thinking of asking legal fees but does that help as she submitted false allegations in court and in turn did not submit any proof despite of asking her several times?
Q: Is there any way that she can be proved wrong in court so her record is tarnished?
Q: On human grounds I want to end this BUT brains things make her ife miserable as she did to me - what are your thoughts?

Thanks CI
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:50 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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just let her withdraw it and move on with your life. I know you want revenge and make her pay but i was once told "the best revenge is living life".
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:34 PM
Conciliation Conciliation is offline
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I agree with "standing on the sidelines". It will cost you a lot of money, a lot of time and an immense amount of emotional effort, just to attempt to get something in writing that says "she told lies".

"What goes around, comes around".

Also, no one withdraws a case without a good reason. Maybe she has no case.....
Hope this helps.
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Old 10-17-2012, 11:28 PM
sahibjee sahibjee is offline
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are any of the allegations published on canlii yet? if yes then thats one thing you want to consider since your name may be online, its better to have the judge say it was false in case your next spouse does a search on you.
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:52 AM
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hadenough hadenough is offline
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Sahibjee: it doesn't sound as though this has gone to trial so there wouldn't be anything on CanLii.

If there is no direct impact on your life (a criminal record, a published report of her claims etc) and what it really amounts to is a pack of lies, leave it alone. Many of us have been lied about, verbally in Court and on paper when it comes to Court, by both the other party AND their lawyer (in the various stages of legal proceedings).

Yes it is unnerving and makes us angry but it wouldn't be up to 'you' to 'let her go' (or let her 'off') on that, it would be a Court. I've had several lies told about me - a couple of total untruths did make their way into the 'decision.' Nothing that affected the big picture. To me, they are inaccuracies much like the spelling errors in the Judgment. Sloppy little oversights, human error.

Nobody knows our own story and 'truth' as we do ourselves. I had high hopes the Judgment would be a masterpiece compilation of all the 'truths' - for the most part, it was the truth - and in my favour. But it was no masterpiece.

Let it go within yourself. It's a sad fact that a lot of people lie. At least your ex is withdrawing from it. Mine went full speed ahead, and given the opportunity he would again, I'm sure. Don't keep the fire alive if you don't have to. It's a much better way to live when the fire is extinguished.
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Old 10-20-2012, 02:25 PM
Dadinbattle Dadinbattle is offline
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Canucks,

You are hearing it right from the replies you got: let it go.

You must separate two facts: getting your life going and move on and getting everyone you can to know your ex is lying.

Think about it: an ex saying crap about the former spouse even spreading lies!.. Where did I hear that before?....everywhere from nearly everyone.

In my opinion, if lawyers were forced to be diligent and liable for "twisting" the truth, if undue lengthening of procedures were monetarily reprimended this situation would not be.

Nevertheless even if was like that in court, would anyone expect an ex to rave about "how wonderful she/he is" and "too bad we had to divorce" ?

My son had those wise words for me once, when I looked particularly upset about something my ex said: "why do you care? It's over between you and we both know what is the truth!"

Hang in there Canucks
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Old 10-22-2012, 08:36 AM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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If she is withdrawing without proceeding she can be held liable for costs. If it has had a significant impact on your life maybe it's worth it, but it would likely just cause more problems and make your ex go off the deep end again.

The best "revenge" is moving on with your life and living well and finding happiness where you can.
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Old 10-22-2012, 10:59 AM
singledad99 singledad99 is offline
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I would not just let her withdraw without signing an agreement that she will not bring forth any litigation in the future. Make sure you clearly state in the agreement that you are expressly or impliedly admitting any guilt as accused by your ex. Fighting over the costs will be worthless because it will only incur you further costs, IMO.

Let it go and like FFF said, moving on is the best revenge and this I am saying through own experience.
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:01 PM
caranna caranna is offline
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Let her go. My to be ex has slandered me with malicious lies to innumerable people, including my family and organizations. He uttered these defamations and also sent letters. It caused me a lot of pain.

I did not act in kind. Now almost a year later, I'm feeling at peace, and all that tension that was building up inside has subsided greatly. To try and fight someone who is determined to destroy your character and reputation is a lost cause. It can only make your life miserable (that's the reason why they do what they do), and also shorter too. Sit back and don't fight.
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:17 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canucks View Post
So now she wants to withdraw the case....
Q: Should i let her withdraw the case?
YES! Let the other party withdraw! They are responsible for paying for ALL YOUR COSTS in accordance with the Family Law Rules. Let them withdraw formally then send them your legal bill.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Family Law Rules 12.(3)
12.(3) A party who withdraws all or part of an application, answer or reply shall pay the costs of every other party in relation to the withdrawn application, answer, reply or part, up to the date of the withdrawal, unless the court orders or the parties agree otherwise. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 12 (3).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canucks View Post
Q: Should she be let go.. as she drove me nuts for 2 year with all these false allegations, made me run around? Delayed the case...
No, the other party won't be "let go" see the above Rule 12.(3) from the Family Law Rules!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canucks View Post
Q: I am thinking of asking legal fees but does that help as she submitted false allegations in court and in turn did not submit any proof despite of asking her several times?
You don't have to as the Rules are quite specific and they are obligated to pay your costs per Rule 12.(3).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canucks View Post
Q: Is there any way that she can be proved wrong in court so her record is tarnished?
Withdrawing is an admission against interest that they have no case and per Rule 12.(3) owe you your costs.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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