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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 08-11-2010, 01:14 PM
Pharah Pharah is offline
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Default Allergy Testing

My ex and I currently have joint custody with 50/50 access. We have attended 5 case conferences but nothing has been resolved yet other then the temporary order regarding our current Custody/Access/Schedule.

My ex is convinced that my son that he has an allergy to milk based on her personal philosophy that milk is not 'safe' for consumption. My son has never displayed any symptoms of a milk allergy while in my care. She has send numerous emails regarding my son's consumption of dairy in my home, stating that she has researched milk allergies and to stop giving him milk.

Understanding the importance of dairy in my son's diet, I not only give him milk but I provide a calcium supplement for the lack of dairy he receives in his diet while he is in my ex's care.

I have setup an appointment with our family doctor to talk about my concerns and get a referral for allergy testing. I advised my ex of the appointment and she responded by stating that she does not agree that our son be subjected to a prick test.

I have not yet discussed testing with the doctor so I am not certain what procedure is called for with this type of test and I told her that I would discuss the matter with her when I have spoken the his doctor and have more information.

I realize that I am pushing it here and that allergy testing would be something that we would normally need to agree on but in light of her self-diagnosis, I feel that these tests are in my sons best interests.

How should I proceed?
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Old 08-11-2010, 02:14 PM
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Definately in his best interests to discuss it with the doctor. All the amateur web research in the world by a concerned parent does NOT provide one with the necessary experience to diagnose any medical condition.

Sounds like the two of you need to sit down with the doctor and have a discussion about the testing - it's really not a difficult test at all, my son has been having them every year since he was 11 months old and it's never once been a traumatic experience for him. Does she say why she refuses the prick test?? That seems rather silly to me. It would certainly go a long way to settle things in that regard.

Her research does not override a medical expert's diagnoses and recommendation and even taking him off milk entirely is a rather big decision that could affect him for years to come in a very negative way. I'm not sure what the legal process would be for taking her to court over it but really, if you take him to the doctor's and for the tests, what's she gonig to do once it's done? She can't undo the tests. I think you're doing the right thing entirely.

As an aside, I know of several people who do have milk allergies that tolerate organic milk very well. Good luck!

Last edited by blinkandimgone; 08-11-2010 at 02:16 PM. Reason: the voices told me to...
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Old 08-11-2010, 02:38 PM
Pharah Pharah is offline
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She said 'I do not want <our son> allergy tested as it is not necessary to put him through 'prick' testing at his age.'

I agree, it is a big decision and she has made no effort to supplement that lack of calcium. Our next case conference is in September and I was thinking of motioning for a court order. I would assume it would take a few months before we cold get an appointment anyway.
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Old 08-11-2010, 03:27 PM
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Is he getting soymilk instead? Most soymilks are fortified so that they have similar nutritional values as cow milk. ... except possibly for fat, which is important for kids under 2 or so. Cheese, Yogurt?
OK, so maybe she doesn't want to give milk based on personal preferences, fine, but might be good also to discuss alternatives with the doctor.
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Old 08-11-2010, 08:33 PM
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As a friend of mine says "It's a double edge sword."

What I'm saying is and with the presumption that Joint Custody is on the table - On one hand you have to show historical communication and co-operation to the other parent with the child's best interest front and centre.

If that being so, Why not suggest to the other parent that the decision for further allergy testing with a specialist rests with your child's physician...

If the Dr. recommends and the other parent disagree's says lots about them and may expose another hidden agenda they may have.

How old is your child? My own child had allergy testing at about 11 months. They survived and they are allergy free today.
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Old 08-11-2010, 09:45 PM
1/2timemom 1/2timemom is offline
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That's ridiculous!! Of course he needs to be tested. If in fact he is allergic, there could be long term ramifications such as excema and hayfever. I myself am allergic and one of my sons is 'intolerant'. It is so important to get the correct diagnosis, if in fact he is allergic it will mean a lot of life changes for all of you. My son who does show sensitivity has some fairly rare side affects and if she suspects that your son has an allergy it's important for everyone to be on board and know the risks. On that note, it's also important that you take the results of the test seriously and if in fact he is allergic, that you develop a 'family plan' to deal with it.
My ex still insists my son is 'fine', so we face some pretty harsh side affects because of his refusal to admit there might be long term issues.
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Old 08-11-2010, 10:17 PM
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Some health centres have nutritional diet counselling available to caregiver's concerning food allergies. As far as testing and needles - Most infants receive immunization every now and again.
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Old 08-12-2010, 08:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1/2timemom View Post
That's ridiculous!! Of course he needs to be tested. If in fact he is allergic, there could be long term ramifications such as excema and hayfever. I myself am allergic and one of my sons is 'intolerant'. It is so important to get the correct diagnosis, if in fact he is allergic it will mean a lot of life changes for all of you. My son who does show sensitivity has some fairly rare side affects and if she suspects that your son has an allergy it's important for everyone to be on board and know the risks. On that note, it's also important that you take the results of the test seriously and if in fact he is allergic, that you develop a 'family plan' to deal with it.
My ex still insists my son is 'fine', so we face some pretty harsh side affects because of his refusal to admit there might be long term issues.
The issue isn't ridiculous, a doctor won't refer a patient for testing willy nilly, there has to be symptoms pointing to an allergy. According to the OP there are no symptoms. In the end the child's GP has to refer the child for testing, it's not up to the parents unless they want to take him to some private clinic in the States. Meanwhile the child's mother is playing doctor and making a diagnosis with no evidence other than reading some web pages.
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Old 08-12-2010, 08:10 AM
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Originally Posted by logicalvelocity View Post
Some health centres have nutritional diet counselling available to caregiver's concerning food allergies. As far as testing and needles - Most infants receive immunization every now and again.
The thing with testing and needles, it's not just one needle like an immunization. They do a scratch test with about 30 needles at a time each with a different substance to show if there are any reactions. It's a long painful process and extremely unpleasant. If there were no medical purpose it would be child abuse, I say that without exaggeration, my daughter had it done twice and my older sister had it done as a child.
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Old 08-12-2010, 08:51 AM
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My son is 7 years old. I have told my ex that I plan on discussing my concerns with his doctor and we will discuss the issue further if his doctor recommends he be referred for testing.

Thanks for the input!
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