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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law > Common Law Issues

Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #11  
Old 04-25-2014, 08:39 PM
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Janibel Janibel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Fuck that shit:

I will be at XYZ on May++++

From +++++

Yours truly,
Registered owner (city bylaw #)
LMAO! No beating around the bush with you ey?
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  #12  
Old 04-25-2014, 08:47 PM
stripes stripes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Fuck that shit:

I will be at XYZ on May++++

From +++++

Yours truly,
Registered owner (city bylaw #)
^^^ It's not shit. It's BIFF (Brief, Informative, Factual, Friendly). It's also CYA (Cover Your Ass), by making it clear what you intend to do while presenting the ex with an opportunity to negotiate, within parameters which you set, so you don't come out looking like an aggressive jerk. Both recommended strategies for dealing with conflict-prone drama queens.
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  #13  
Old 04-25-2014, 09:22 PM
Serene Serene is offline
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The first part of the letter is fine. Make one visit/inspection then determine how often and if u want to go back weekly or whatever. She may not resist the initial visit if she thinks it's only one time. It will allow you to get pics.
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  #14  
Old 04-25-2014, 11:36 PM
init'sowntime init'sowntime is offline
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thank you all. I sent a very simple email today. What i got back was abusive threatening and hostile. Keep in mind, I have never hurt this woman, I have never had any criminal charges against me, I have always treated her well, until I left her, and then suddenly I'm an abusive prick who controlled her every move, thought and action.

She lied and made many false allegations. she was able to get a protection order. it has expired along with the exclusive occupancy. All I want to do is visit my property and take pictures to show the deterioration of the assets in question.

the email I got back today makes me sound like i'm threatening her, and intimidating her. they have threatened that if i come to the property (which i have full rights to do since i am the owner as well as her and that no maintenance has been done) that they will go to court to get another protection order.

I want someone to look at the email I sent and the response i got back. Should I still go to our house? I talked to the cops again and they said they cannot force her to let me into the property, but they also can't stop me from entering it. My question is this, can i remove a deadbolt to gain entry? she said shes changed the locks, even though i am supposed to have a key. Pm me if you would like to see the docs and I will send them. thank you so much.

im scared. if I don't go tommorrow she'll slap another protection order on me and I'll never get the pics. if I do go, she'll still slap it on me but at least i will have pics to prove my point, and im sure thats exactly why she doesn't want me in there.

I am bringing a witness and a camcorder to record the whole thing. if I do take the deadbolt off and put a new one on (which I'll give her a key to) will that hurt me in court?
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  #15  
Old 04-25-2014, 11:55 PM
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Default my email to her:

Hello ex,

I'm just letting you know I will be attending at our house saterday morning april 26th.

there will be someone accompanying me on my visit.

If you have changed the locks, could you please leave the door unlocked and/or provide me with the new key.

It might be easier on both of us if you were not present during my visit.

Sincerely, Me

(to the point, non threatening, and giving her a full 24hrs notice.)
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  #16  
Old 04-26-2014, 12:33 AM
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Well,

Do you have the legal right to go the property? (you own it and have you have no court order in effect prohibiting you from going there)

Do you intend to cause trouble for your ex?

Have you notified her?

If the answers to these questions are yes, no and yes, I think you are good to go. At this point, if you don't go after receiving her ranting email, you'll be teaching her that throwing a tantrum is an effective strategy. If you do go, you'll be demonstrating that you will act on your legal rights and behave like a reasonable person while doing so.

Bring a neutral friend with you, and be prepared for the possibility that she won't let you into the property. I wouldn't challenge her physically or attempt to remove a deadbolt - too easy for that to be interpreted as assault or destruction of property. Show up, look at the place, and leave. If she wants to pursue some sort of protection order, she can do that, there's nothing you can do to prevent it. Do what you are legally entitled to do, stay within the boundaries of acceptable behavior, and let her react however she chooses to react.
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  #17  
Old 04-26-2014, 12:42 AM
init'sowntime init'sowntime is offline
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so if she wont let me in theres nothing i can do?
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  #18  
Old 04-26-2014, 12:57 AM
init'sowntime init'sowntime is offline
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all i want to do is see the inside of my house. that's it. i don't want to cause any trouble. she has let the outside go so much, and it needs a long list of repairs and maintenance on the outside, i can only imagine what the inside looks like.

A friend was in there 6 months ago and said there was animal feces on the floor, moldy dishes in the sink, the floor had stacks of papers and crap pushed against the walls, kitchen cabinets were broken. that's just the kitchen and living room folks. apparently it stunk to high heaven in there too. He has always been impartial to both of us and has not taken sides. hes not much of a talker but he called to tell me because he was worried about her mental state.

I'm very worried about the inside of my house. I am on title and mortgage but i for the last year have derived no benefit from any of it. the only reason she wants to keep me out is so i cant document it. if i don't get in tomorrow i likely never will again. what do i do?

i keep trying to keep this out of court, and she keeps threatening trial. she has never filed for a trial date, and she knows because of my low income that i can't afford one, just like i can't afford a lawyer.
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  #19  
Old 04-26-2014, 07:59 AM
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There's no risk for you with being on the property in order to clean things up, that's your right to do - knocking on the door or working outside is not illegal. Nothing to worry about there.
Don't touch the deadbolt, that could possibly land you in hot water.
If need be, take pictures of the inside of the house through some window? If it's as bad as you think it is, then you could get some kind of municipal order to gain legal access. If there's to be any 'deadbolt removing' let a sheriff do it.
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