A little question about loyalties when a couple splits.. we are in an ugly phase of our impending divorce right now - conflict is high, verbal abuse, sarcasm, intimidation, etc. Ninety percent of it is STBX towards me. My family and friends know a little about it, but I try not to be too disparaging and gossipy, but I also need support.
So, both my bro and SIL, and my cousins, have both said that my STBX is always welcome in their home. Although I don't forward every nasty text (or any for that matter) to my family or describe our dramatic encounters, they know it's messy and miserable right now. I know they are doing/saying this for the kids, but is there some expectation that family will be on my 'side', at the very least until the dust settles? Is it too much to ask? Wouldn't it be supportive for them to align a bit with me, especially since they didn't even have a relationship with my ex in the first place, other than at family events? Any insight would be helpful.
So, both my bro and SIL, and my cousins, have both said that my STBX is always welcome in their home. Although I don't forward every nasty text (or any for that matter) to my family or describe our dramatic encounters, they know it's messy and miserable right now. I know they are doing/saying this for the kids, but is there some expectation that family will be on my 'side', at the very least until the dust settles? Is it too much to ask? Wouldn't it be supportive for them to align a bit with me, especially since they didn't even have a relationship with my ex in the first place, other than at family events? Any insight would be helpful.
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