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  #31  
Old 12-23-2010, 11:59 AM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Wow, I will be most interested in how that plays out.

I would be shocked if that is what ends up playing out.

What does your lawyer say?
Lawyer was pretty damned sure would get sole when we first started, but then she had never met my smooth talking ex. She doesn't like the fact that I am more than willing to let the 50/50 continue, but that is likely becasue she sees the possibility of settlement and not the cash reward from a trial. Too bad for her.
  #32  
Old 12-23-2010, 01:15 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Custody battles of teenagers is almost moot considering at age 16, they are free to withdraw from parent or parental control. I think I would save myself grief and take the high road and accommodate their choices physically and financially. If they choose to live with the other parent, so be it.
  #33  
Old 12-23-2010, 05:15 PM
got2bkid got2bkid is offline
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No, there are no benefits to being and NCP. As you can tell from most of the posts which either evaded your question, or tried to make light of it, there are none. And, for your own information, almost all of the fathers posting here do have custody, or at least shared custody, of their children. So their prespective, from a male NCP like you, is very different.
  #34  
Old 12-24-2010, 11:50 AM
Momymonkey Momymonkey is offline
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Hello Sad Dad,

I am not of the male NCP department so maybe a female view would be of assistance. As you can read from some of my older posts, my boys went to live with thier Dad when I hit some serious financial difficulties. Although the decision was very difficult to make, I had to take into consideration what was best for the boys. Why not live with Dad, he loves them just as much as I do.

Teenagers, as Im sure you've discovered, are, well Teenagers. They are discovering a little more freedom, expressing themselves and basically trying to defy thier parental units. My boys, didnt spend much time at either my X's or my house during that period. So if you can, dont waste your hard earned money on legal fees.

I cant tell you want is right for you, but you mustnt look at being a NCP as shameful. There is no shame being a NCP or paying for your childrens upbringing! Just be the better person and look past all the crap. The kids will love you more for that than anything else, that I can attest to!!
Good luck Sad Dad and look forward to your Christmas time with your children.
  #35  
Old 12-24-2010, 04:59 PM
SadDad2010 SadDad2010 is offline
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Thanks Momymonkey!
This is my first Christmas Eve awayfrom the kids and you're words really helped.
Merry Christmas!
  #36  
Old 12-25-2010, 09:59 AM
Momymonkey Momymonkey is offline
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Your welcome Sad Dad. I know its tough being the NCP and I can feel the pain of missing out on Christmas eve. Now its time to make new traditions with your kids. Cant wait for my Christmas Day tomorrow
  #37  
Old 12-28-2010, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by got2bkid View Post
No, there are no benefits to being and NCP. As you can tell from most of the posts which either evaded your question, or tried to make light of it, there are none. And, for your own information, almost all of the fathers posting here do have custody, or at least shared custody, of their children. So their prespective, from a male NCP like you, is very different.
There really are some benefits to being the NCP...depending on the access regime in place...as the step-mom, I get to miss the full-blown temper tantrums, but still be there with an ear to listen and advice to resolve...as an NCP, you get a bit more freedom to work late, go out, play sports, etc on days where you do not have access without incurring additional childcare costs (moot for me, since I also have a son), your house stays cleaner, your fridge stays stocked, you do not have to worry about someone else using the last of the toilet paper and not replacing the roll, if you cannot sleep and want to go for a walk/drive at 3am, you can...you don't have to fight over tvs or electronics, and can play 80s tunes all you want without being told repeatedly that your music sucks...I could go on and on....

There are silver linings to both the CP and NCP clouds, if you get your head out of your ass and look for them
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