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My child is still young, but I've been wondering what I can expect once he hits teenagehood. Can anyone share their experiences? I suspect things may get more difficult as the child gets more say into where he wants to be. How do people manage when the ex is a spoiling parent, vs me who is the responsible and "tough" parent? I'm curious to see what I have to look forward to...
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I have young teens (13 and 15)
It does bring a new reality to the mix. My partner and I are much more strict than their father and his wife in many areas, but that doesn't seem to play too much into their choices. It would seem that they are much more concerned with their OWN lives at this point. They want to be with their friends and at their social and sporting events. Whichever parent is going to facilitate that is where they will choose to be. Now having said that, my younger one will take the opportunity when he has "downtime" to go spend time on the couch at dad's - we don't allow much TV time in our house. My 15 year old does not yet have a part time job but that will also change how things work. Overall, they do spend less time with their dad because their friends are close to moms BUT dad doesn't do much to help. If he were willing to bring them to their sports or pick them up "after the dance on Friday" instead of at 5 pm, or whatever, he would get more of their time.
Their father lives about an hour away - for reference. -
So what is a good custody schedule for teens?Comment
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If you ask my kids, they'll tell you that they want to just pick and choose when to go to their father's. They don't want to be held to a schedule. Unfortunately that makes things very complicated for both parents as you never know. I tend to let them make their own plans now and if there is a specific time that I "for sure" want them to be with me, I tell both them and their father ahead of time that for "x, y, z" weekend, I want them to be with me.Comment
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