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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 07-26-2012, 01:43 PM
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Monkeymonkey. You have every right to set up rules and boundaries in your home. You have no control over what your ex does or does not do. Your son is not a toddler and you cannot force your ex to co-parent with you. I would recommend that you do your research and make your own plan of action, as it relates to your own family, and write it down. Arrange to meet your son at a neutral place and go over the terms with him. If you deem it appropriate you could send your ex a copy of your family's code of conduct to keep him in the loop. That way he will be aware of what your family expectations are. Many people in this situation get the teen to sign a contract accepting the terms before they are allowed back.

You are the boss of your world. You are doing the right thing.
  #12  
Old 07-26-2012, 01:43 PM
FaithandMorals FaithandMorals is offline
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Are you seriously saying that now raising your third hellion teen you have not learned to lock up the booze, car keys, money and porn? That you have not learned to put the latch on the door at curfew and go to bed?
C'mon.
Unless you were some sort of unique being, surely you can remember what it is like being a teen?
Stop wasting your time whining about your ex on a forum and take the advice to accept your own responsibility and parent the kid. If you don't god help him in the next 5 years as he starts to enter society without parental support.
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Old 07-26-2012, 01:46 PM
FaithandMorals FaithandMorals is offline
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BUT, telling your son he is banned from your house is telling him that your partner is more important than him or that his own mother is turning her back on him. Not the kind of stuff that inspires people. Tough and non-negotiable rules ok. Exile, no.
  #14  
Old 07-26-2012, 01:48 PM
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Two words:

Behaviour contract.
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Old 07-26-2012, 01:55 PM
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You have every right to tell your son he cannot come to your house unless he agrees to your rules. You are doing the right thing here. He is not a baby. He can stay at his dad's place or at a youth shelter. This is tough love. I am sure that it was very, very difficult for you. Most important thing is that your son know all of the rules/conditions (don't rely on your ex to inform him) and that you love him. Stay the course.
  #16  
Old 07-26-2012, 02:01 PM
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Rules? Yes. Exile? No. Like Blink states; behaviour contract.
  #17  
Old 07-26-2012, 02:05 PM
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Mother is well within her rights to do this. If more people would do this we'd likely have less delinquents in our society. You don't reward poor behavior. Staying at the mother's home is not a right rather a privilege and the kid should get that through his head. Coddling an out-of-control teenager isn't a good thing.
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Old 07-26-2012, 02:39 PM
Momymonkey Momymonkey is offline
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My rule is follow my rules or your out...................He chose out
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Old 07-26-2012, 02:49 PM
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Mhm.....and how's that working for you?
  #20  
Old 07-26-2012, 03:08 PM
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Good for you. Must be hard but stay the course.
I had good friends who went through hell with their daughter. They tried everything and finally did the tough love thing. Worked well for them. Now their daughter is grown up and very successful. Daughter said it was tough love that saved her from the streets of East Vancouver.
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