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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #11  
Old 05-08-2006, 10:42 AM
Jenny Jenny is offline
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How about an apology? One that isn't phrased like
" I'm sorry you took offense"
" I'm sorry you have a problem with me" "
"I'm sorry YOU feel that way"


I highly doubt Jeff will ask you to leave- it will be us "trouble makers" that will end up leaving or getting booted....
  #12  
Old 05-08-2006, 10:43 AM
Divorcemanagement Divorcemanagement is offline
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I am sorry that my comments have been interpreted beyond their intent and/or meaning. I am sorry that I have cause grief to anyone on the closure of the thread or the subsequent events surrounding the use of the words "free money".
  #13  
Old 05-08-2006, 10:46 AM
beltane beltane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Divorcemanagement
Then I will post publicly here to you Jenny, to Beltane and to anyone who feels that my conduct on the matter in question was insensitive or inappropriate - what specifically would you like me to do that will address your concerns on this matter?

Sean, your conduct was not insensitive or inappropriate... to me, it just feels like you never REALLY answered my question. I read it and thought, "huh, I guess I think he apologized..." and then I RE-read it and felt puzzled, and RE-read it and felt like I had been double-talked.

If you don't feel comfortable giving me a reply to my point blank question, say it.

If you stand by your choice of words that spousal support is "free money", say it.

If your choice of words was wrong, say it.

Just say it.
  #14  
Old 05-08-2006, 10:48 AM
Divorcemanagement Divorcemanagement is offline
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Not free money.
  #15  
Old 05-08-2006, 10:56 AM
beltane beltane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Divorcemanagement
Not free money.
I'm confused... what does this mean?
  #16  
Old 05-08-2006, 10:59 AM
Jenny Jenny is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Divorcemanagement
I am sorry that my comments have been interpreted beyond their intent and/or meaning. I am sorry that I have cause grief to anyone on the closure of the thread or the subsequent events surrounding the use of the words "free money".

I'm sorry that I made you try to word something that seems like an apology again. It must be tough coming up with phrases that seem like you are apologizing or taking responsibility for your actions. How on earth do you learn that technique?

Too hard to say " I'm sorry for choosing those words"?
  #17  
Old 05-08-2006, 11:00 AM
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Lindsay Lindsay is offline
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Firstly, to everyone, I personally love seeing every one of you contributing to the forums each day.

Quote:
I once again am feeling as though perhaps some of the moderators on this board wish THIS woman (me) would just quietly go away
I don't believe you are being very fair here. There are rumblings that women are being ganged up on and catergorized as monsters. I am quite surprised to see that moderators being categorized as members who wish you would go away. I am 100% certain that the moderators that have been actively discussing this issue (namely Jeff, Sean and Grace) absolutely do not feel that way. LV and I have had hardly any association with this matter.

Quote:
it will be us "trouble makers" that will end up leaving or getting booted
I'm not sure why you feel this way Jenny. At no point has Jeffrey asked any of you to stop expressing your feelings on this forum. There is absolutely zero indication from Jeffrey that he would ever expell anyone from this forums. He has made it quite clear that he only asks that everyone refrain from personal attacks.

I understand that you guys are upset with what Sean had to say about spousal support being free money. However, I personally think that Sean has apologized enough for offending those who feel offended, and we are happy to have him as a moderator. We are also more than happy to have you guys as members as well.

I'm personally sorry that some members feel attacked. I just hope we can all eventually accept Sean's numerous apologies and get back to healing and helping others through difficult times.

Lindsay
  #18  
Old 05-08-2006, 11:01 AM
Divorcemanagement Divorcemanagement is offline
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It is free money when the marriage was of a short duration and both parties continued to work during the marriage it is not free money when on party has been home raising the kids and lost out on opportunities and advantages they would have otherwise received had they been out in the workforce.

This mirriors my point of view in the thread I started entitled "Spousal Support - Why It Matters".

I hope this clarifies the concern that you have raised.
  #19  
Old 05-08-2006, 11:12 AM
Divorcemanagement Divorcemanagement is offline
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Thanks Lindsay -

I look at web forums this way - when it comes to divorce, people who contribute are often experiencing incredible stress and turmoil associated with their conflict. Because both men and women post here and because both men and women are often on opposing sides to an issue, contributers may be more sensitive to comments and observations.

I also recognize the limitations of public web forums. Because they are public, it might be hard to feel validated or that your opinion and contribution matters because of the very sensitive nature of divorce and the fact that it often polarizes people right along gender lines.

We should all aspire to be sensitive to other people's feelings and points of view, at the same time we should also be mindful of the fact that this is a public forum - it's not counselling and it's not a support group in the traditional sense. I believe it is an information source where all our combined shared experiences can help people make decisions during a very difficult time.

I don't view this forum as being anti-woman at all - but then I am a guy and perhaps some women might feel that I don't have an opinion because I am a guy. If that's the case, you are entitled to your opinion.
  #20  
Old 05-08-2006, 11:14 AM
Jenny Jenny is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsay

I'm not sure why you feel this way Jenny. At no point has Jeffrey asked any of you to stop expressing your feelings on this forum. There is absolutely zero indication from Jeffrey that he would ever expell anyone from this forums. He has made it quite clear that he only asks that everyone refrain from personal attacks.Lindsay
Well I also mentioned it could be us "leaving" --Sean has mentioned he offered his resignation to Jeff - and that is what I am responding to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsay
I just hope we can all eventually accept Sean's numerous apologies and get back to healing and helping others through difficult times.

Lindsay
I suppose some would see his words as apologies instead of double talk. He is sorry we took his words that way. It wasn't "I'm sorry I punched you in the face" but rather " I'm sorry you were upset at me punching you in the face"
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