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  • #16
    Dear 'SadAndTired',

    I make a good income and so does my ex...thanks to me for paying both of our post-secondary expenses.
    You are obviously on the receiving end so of course you would say it's all fine and dandy.
    I am taking care of things just fine, thank you...I am entitled to move on with my life just as much as she is. I am talking about injustice and misuse of funds, but of course you would not understand that unless you were a payor yourself.
    Sorry, you did not mention how much you make...???

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Justice4us View Post
      Dear 'SadAndTired',

      I make a good income and so does my ex...thanks to me for paying both of our post-secondary expenses.
      You are obviously on the receiving end so of course you would say it's all fine and dandy.
      I am taking care of things just fine, thank you...I am entitled to move on with my life just as much as she is. I am talking about injustice and misuse of funds, but of course you would not understand that unless you were a payor yourself.
      Sorry, you did not mention how much you make...???
      Please dont go there. I am not a payor or a payee. I think there are serious flaws in the system. We discuss this at work with my happily married colleagues who also agree. I have a payee friend who admits to occassionally using some cs to buy herself a new outfit. I give her credit for being honest.

      I think those that have some crazy sense of entitlement ate the only ones that believe the system is fair.

      Comment


      • #18
        I make $51,000 gross income......not six figures....

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
          I am not sure how this makes you frustrated?

          What education does your EX have? Obviously she is earning her potential. Perhaps she should make $20,000 a year and apply for spousal support payments??

          You are mad because your EX makes good money to support herself? Wow.

          Maybe your GF should work more if you are not surviving. You CHOSE to get into a common law relationship. Obviously your combined incomes are great if she is only getting $80 a month benefit and you are paying $1100 a month child support. You must make 6 figures.

          Own up to the choices you have made.

          My point was that my Ex is in a common law relationship/their household makes more income than us....but because she claims "separated" on her taxes, she is receiving extra benefit money from the government....

          My GF and I are honest/claim common-law.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by knackered View Post
            My point was that my Ex is in a common law relationship/their household makes more income than us....but because she claims "separated" on her taxes, she is receiving extra benefit money from the government....

            My GF and I are honest/claim common-law.
            umm then tell your gf to get out there and work full time instead of part time?

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
              umm then tell your gf to get out there and work full time instead of part time?

              If Ex claimed common law, as she should be, she wouldn't be receiving the government benefit money that she does. She illegally profits off the situation.

              But you think that is ok for her to do.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by knackered View Post
                If Ex claimed common law, as she should be, she wouldn't be receiving the government benefit money that she does. She illegally profits off the situation.

                But you think that is ok for her to do.
                dont put words into my mouth. I never said that at all.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                  dont put words into my mouth. I never said that at all.

                  I know you never SAID THAT....but no one even comments on that/ and that was one of my main points.....how my Ex and many others profit off these situations.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    As far as the comment that my ex should make $20,000 and go for spousal support from me........

                    in our case, I had got laid off from my job prior to separation, I was collecting EI....was able to pay the house mortgage, etc, with that.

                    Ex told me she wanted to go back to work early from Mat leave when I got laid off. When it got close to my EI running out....that's when ex and her parents bullied me in to signing a separation agreement.

                    I know, you're thinking "cry me a river" by me saying "bullied me".....I was distraught at the time, knowing my EI was going to run out, not knowing what I was going to do.

                    Anyways so as far as spousal support---ex covered her basis in the separation agreement that her parents and her did up.....it says that neither of us are entitled to spousal support/ so she can't get spousal from me either.

                    My lawyer has said that because ex made the false police report/ kicked me out while I was unemployed, I would have been entitled to spousal support from her.

                    I had been the primary caregiver at home with the kids.

                    Ex's Dad told me if I didn't want to be responsible for the mortgage payment on the house, I had to sign it over to him.... He had been coming over doing demolition on rooms/saying he was going to remodel them---the house was a disaster/ there was no way it would have sold.....and I signed the house over to him....they never bought my share out.

                    Sorry for mentioning some extra issues here...

                    Mess is right, I am an idiot for getting myself in this position...unfortunately I didn't have the money or legal advice from anyone at the start of this.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Oh...and "distraught/ not knowing what I was going to do" Obviously I had been applying for jobs!

                      I was making minimum wage for awhile.....Still paid Ex the Child Support amount based on our agreement though...which making minimum wage, I wouldn't have owed her as much as I was paying....but I have always followed my end of the agreement. She doesn't and gets away with it.

                      Once I got a better job.....Ex contacted FRO and told them that I had never ever paid her child support.
                      I had some cheques to prove that I had....but not all. Yes I am an idiot in this position, as Mess said, and at times when my ex would say "I can't get to the bank, can you give me cash" I did....thinking we were past the bitter part/could trust her.

                      FRO began garnishing half my pay cheques.....Ex scammed me out of $4,000 that way.

                      Anytime, I think I can start to financially recover.....She knocks me down.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by knackered View Post
                        "

                        My Ex makes $60,000 a year. She is claiming "separated" on her taxes and receiving $466 a month in government benefits from the kids. She gets $765 a month from me in guideline child support, plus anywhere from $200-$300 on top of that for her babysitting expenses that she makes up---She has a babysitting scam going on which I've written many threads about/ will update on that situation at some point! And if she puts them in any activities, I pay my proportional share for that as well.

                        So because of this, I am having to pay her approximately $1,100 a month. Plus she's getting that $466 a month government benefits for claiming "separated" even though she's in a spousal relationship.
                        Originally posted by knackered View Post
                        If Ex claimed common law, as she should be, she wouldn't be receiving the government benefit money that she does. She illegally profits off the situation.

                        But you think that is ok for her to do.
                        All it takes is a simple phone call to report it! CRA can use many resources to investigate the starting date of cohabitation and they can claw back any benefits that were paid out up to 1 yr of that date(common-law cra status is after 1yr cohab). You are the only person who can correct this, as well as reporting any possible unclaimed babysitting income. On behalf of all the hard working, taxpaying citizens of this country report it, otherwise you do not have a problem with her doing this either!

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by SRT View Post
                          All it takes is a simple phone call to report it! CRA can use many resources to investigate the starting date of cohabitation and they can claw back any benefits that were paid out up to 1 yr of that date(common-law cra status is after 1yr cohab). You are the only person who can correct this, as well as reporting any possible unclaimed babysitting income. On behalf of all the hard working, taxpaying citizens of this country report it, otherwise you do not have a problem with her doing this either!
                          But then he wouldn't be able to blame everyone else for his problems.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Changes need to be made to an archaic, punitive system that caters to the 'entitlement' of women who feel that it is their ex-husbands responsibility to take care of them financially for as long as possible because they married them. Just a heads up...times have changed...we are living in a society in which women can and do work for a living, and having second or blended families has become common. Let's look at situations and family incomes on a case by case basis for some level of fairness here.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              ...who feel that it is their ex-husbands responsibility to take care of them financially for as long as possible because they married them.
                              lol. Looks like your new wife expects you to take care of her too...and the two kids that she had that were fathered by someone else.

                              You don't take on extra kids if you can't afford the 1st ones. Either their father pays for them or their mother does. If you've decided to take on that burden, then its your choice.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                I am the new wife here...just FYI, I work full time and was self-sufficient before getting re-married. And by the way, I am one of those rare women who allowed my ex to have shared custody (half the time) and I did not request child support because I believed we should divide the children's expenses equally. I did not want to cause undue financial hardship for my ex or take his kids away from him. Right now my ex and I give my kids what we can...they don't get everything they want but we make it work. And no, I do not expect my new husband to give me a grand lifestyle...we share in the household expenses and make the best of our financial situation.
                                Be careful not to make judgements without all the facts.

                                Comment

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