Hi. I'm new to the board, and am ready to go to court requesting a custody change, and can't afford a lawyer or qualify for legal aid. I get different advice from each lawyer I've spoken to at FLIC. I guess it is best to just lay out my story, and see what advice/options you all have for me.
I have been separated for 2 years. There was some paperwork glitch on his end as he took care of divorcing me, but it went through in March. We were married 13 years and have a daughter, 10.5, and a son 7.5. We both own together both homes we live in (owned both while married) he kept the marital home, I took the townhouse. We have joint custody, with no custodial home for the children, they alternate homes, week on, week off, and still go to the same school. In our agreement (he prepared, I got a lawyer to read it, tell me I was giving up a lot, but signed it anyway to get it over with) it is stated that we must remain in St. Catharines.
He set the child and spousal amounts based on $120,000 and mine of $15,000, he was making $150,000, but the amount was good, I wasn't going to complain. The spousal was maintaining the mtg payment on my home for 3 years. The bank called in March to say it was 3 months behind and I had 10 days to come up with the money. I have not received child support since December 27 2009. FRO took forever to register my case, but he has never made a payment to them either. The bank started calling me for the payment on his house, which I declined to make. I got served that I am being sued on a debt for an investment loan he took out in 2006 that I co-signed. He stripped out the investments, and stopped paying the loan. He has not bought new clothes for the kids since last year. Someone finally gave him hand me downs. He says that he "went through depression when I left and didn't work" mostly he pissed off his clients, and they stopped sending friends to him. (broker) But he still had $25,000 in landscaping done, and stiffed the landscaper, had a custom laundry room and basement bath put in, and stiffed the appliance company. And is building an unlicensed salon in the basement of the house for his boyfriend. Yes. Boyfriend. He met a 10 yr younger guy on line last November, and moved him into the house within 6 weeks, without explaining to the kids that daddy was gay (and had been all along, but wanted kids and social acceptance so he married me) Without a doubt I believe he has Narcissistic Personality disorder, he meets every criteria. The children are not neglected in his care, but he does very little with them unless it makes him look like super dad. Posed moments, I call them. My daughter had a very hard time in June when daddy out of nowhere said boys can marry boys and that he would marry his partner in Oct, 2011. (large lavish wedding, supposedly) Still, no child support.
I work full time, self employed, and after expenses make maybe $25,000. I imagine he is getting almost no clients, as he is constantly in arrears on his house, had the cable and phone cut off, and has now filed a consumer proposal, and I have had to as well, as in addition to the lawsuit, the bank wants their $25,000 line of credit back.
I began dating a man that I dated in college that I had refound and been friends with on Facebook last May. The children have grown to like him alot, they claim to love him. He is divorced as well, and money is tight for him, but we have lots of cheap fun as a family. He lives on a farm belonging to his employer of 10 years, and we have use of 40 acres. All hokey and country like, but we love it. We have decided to marry, regardless of if we can live together, July, 2011. Civil ceremony with a bbq on the farm. We are snowmobilers, and my fiance always has had a yearly ride and hosted a swap meet. This year we rented a fair gounds and made it an event. As of last night, we have a media partner, and expect attendance to go from 500 to 15,000 per show (2 per year, both in his town) plus the winter ride. It will be almost a full time job organizing these.
Problem #1: he lives near Barrie, 2 hours from me.
Problem#2: My Daughter wants to live with us. She isn't crazy about Daddy's boyfriend. Wants to finish the 5th grade here, but wants to be with us, but can't talk to daddy. He gets angry at her about doing things with me, he can feel her preference. She would like to join 4H (agricultural club) and use my fiance's cousin dairy calves as her show animals. My son just thinks its not fair if daddy doesn't have him, even steven, even though he is bored at dad's house and isn't terribly fond of dad's boyfriend.
Problem#3: I was totally stressed in the spring and emailed the ex a proposal: I would not register from FRO, I would do all the driving, I would never ask for child support, if I could just leave with the kids. He never replied, but ranted to everyone that I wanted to take his parental rights because I am anti gay. Frankly, gay is the least of the issues.
I am going to have to stop doing what I do for a living. I cannot afford the fees for insurance due in December of $1400, and I use a credit card to purchase info from the government for my reports. As of Wed, I have no cards due to the consumer proposal. I am desperately seeking a new job, but despite 10 resumes at least a week, I haven't even gotten a phone call.
I want to move with the kids in the summer. The school they would go to has an alternative year, so they go back in August but get extra time off during the year. If I give the ex most of the summer and all of the school vacations, I can get his time up to 18 weeks (from the 26 he has now)
I want to request the OCL as well, so that maybe, just maybe, we get the social worker, and they can hopefully see the dynamic in his house. Though he is very charming and slick.
Any ideas about my case?? I was told since we are joint already, the more time I give him, the better my chances. I can't mediate, heck, we can't even stand to look at one another when we switch the kids on Sundays. Staying here is killing me financially, we can give the kids a simple, normal life. They consider my fiance their step dad already, he calls them his step kids. I don't want to take them away from their father, I actually think their relationship would be stronger, as he can excel at what he does best...do things with the kids when others are around to watch, big deals, parties, special trips, not the day to day stuff, where he lacks (homework, proper meals and bedtimes, clothing them)
I have been separated for 2 years. There was some paperwork glitch on his end as he took care of divorcing me, but it went through in March. We were married 13 years and have a daughter, 10.5, and a son 7.5. We both own together both homes we live in (owned both while married) he kept the marital home, I took the townhouse. We have joint custody, with no custodial home for the children, they alternate homes, week on, week off, and still go to the same school. In our agreement (he prepared, I got a lawyer to read it, tell me I was giving up a lot, but signed it anyway to get it over with) it is stated that we must remain in St. Catharines.
He set the child and spousal amounts based on $120,000 and mine of $15,000, he was making $150,000, but the amount was good, I wasn't going to complain. The spousal was maintaining the mtg payment on my home for 3 years. The bank called in March to say it was 3 months behind and I had 10 days to come up with the money. I have not received child support since December 27 2009. FRO took forever to register my case, but he has never made a payment to them either. The bank started calling me for the payment on his house, which I declined to make. I got served that I am being sued on a debt for an investment loan he took out in 2006 that I co-signed. He stripped out the investments, and stopped paying the loan. He has not bought new clothes for the kids since last year. Someone finally gave him hand me downs. He says that he "went through depression when I left and didn't work" mostly he pissed off his clients, and they stopped sending friends to him. (broker) But he still had $25,000 in landscaping done, and stiffed the landscaper, had a custom laundry room and basement bath put in, and stiffed the appliance company. And is building an unlicensed salon in the basement of the house for his boyfriend. Yes. Boyfriend. He met a 10 yr younger guy on line last November, and moved him into the house within 6 weeks, without explaining to the kids that daddy was gay (and had been all along, but wanted kids and social acceptance so he married me) Without a doubt I believe he has Narcissistic Personality disorder, he meets every criteria. The children are not neglected in his care, but he does very little with them unless it makes him look like super dad. Posed moments, I call them. My daughter had a very hard time in June when daddy out of nowhere said boys can marry boys and that he would marry his partner in Oct, 2011. (large lavish wedding, supposedly) Still, no child support.
I work full time, self employed, and after expenses make maybe $25,000. I imagine he is getting almost no clients, as he is constantly in arrears on his house, had the cable and phone cut off, and has now filed a consumer proposal, and I have had to as well, as in addition to the lawsuit, the bank wants their $25,000 line of credit back.
I began dating a man that I dated in college that I had refound and been friends with on Facebook last May. The children have grown to like him alot, they claim to love him. He is divorced as well, and money is tight for him, but we have lots of cheap fun as a family. He lives on a farm belonging to his employer of 10 years, and we have use of 40 acres. All hokey and country like, but we love it. We have decided to marry, regardless of if we can live together, July, 2011. Civil ceremony with a bbq on the farm. We are snowmobilers, and my fiance always has had a yearly ride and hosted a swap meet. This year we rented a fair gounds and made it an event. As of last night, we have a media partner, and expect attendance to go from 500 to 15,000 per show (2 per year, both in his town) plus the winter ride. It will be almost a full time job organizing these.
Problem #1: he lives near Barrie, 2 hours from me.
Problem#2: My Daughter wants to live with us. She isn't crazy about Daddy's boyfriend. Wants to finish the 5th grade here, but wants to be with us, but can't talk to daddy. He gets angry at her about doing things with me, he can feel her preference. She would like to join 4H (agricultural club) and use my fiance's cousin dairy calves as her show animals. My son just thinks its not fair if daddy doesn't have him, even steven, even though he is bored at dad's house and isn't terribly fond of dad's boyfriend.
Problem#3: I was totally stressed in the spring and emailed the ex a proposal: I would not register from FRO, I would do all the driving, I would never ask for child support, if I could just leave with the kids. He never replied, but ranted to everyone that I wanted to take his parental rights because I am anti gay. Frankly, gay is the least of the issues.
I am going to have to stop doing what I do for a living. I cannot afford the fees for insurance due in December of $1400, and I use a credit card to purchase info from the government for my reports. As of Wed, I have no cards due to the consumer proposal. I am desperately seeking a new job, but despite 10 resumes at least a week, I haven't even gotten a phone call.
I want to move with the kids in the summer. The school they would go to has an alternative year, so they go back in August but get extra time off during the year. If I give the ex most of the summer and all of the school vacations, I can get his time up to 18 weeks (from the 26 he has now)
I want to request the OCL as well, so that maybe, just maybe, we get the social worker, and they can hopefully see the dynamic in his house. Though he is very charming and slick.
Any ideas about my case?? I was told since we are joint already, the more time I give him, the better my chances. I can't mediate, heck, we can't even stand to look at one another when we switch the kids on Sundays. Staying here is killing me financially, we can give the kids a simple, normal life. They consider my fiance their step dad already, he calls them his step kids. I don't want to take them away from their father, I actually think their relationship would be stronger, as he can excel at what he does best...do things with the kids when others are around to watch, big deals, parties, special trips, not the day to day stuff, where he lacks (homework, proper meals and bedtimes, clothing them)
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