Like many, I have struggles with the day to day anger and frustration, and weighing the long term analysis of what's best for my son.
Background: Separated for 3 years, de facto joint custody/access during these 3 years, working on finalizing by the end of the year.
We are at the stage where communication is only through lawyers, my ex-wife isn't allowing me to call my son while she has him for a vacation period (within jurisdiction), she has repeatedly interfered with my scheduled days, and she is telling my son that I won't allow this and that (she has requested some international travel, which I have declined until we have a final agreement in place).
I keep being told to focus on getting the agreement signed, sealed and delivered, which I'm doing, but I have to wonder, what's to prevent her from continuing this behaviour? Police enforcement of a custody agreement/order is notoriously difficult to obtain, I have no CLEAR parental alienation evidence (although she is forming a pattern), and I can't afford to challenge her in court for everything she may try in the future.
Is this really going to be a life of me getting my lawyer to send a letter each time, but the behaviour returning after a while? If an agreement isn't really enforceable except for the extreme cases (abuse, etc), what the hell is the point?
I'm feeling so deflated lately that the system is really not out to protect the kids, and enforce court orders. I have a meeting with OCL coming up, but to be honest, they have more extreme and pressing cases to deal with.
I'm managing the day to day stress by trying to think long term. My son will one day know who is the stable parent, and who is the manipulator. Is that really all I can hang on to?
No hugs needed, but I'm wondering if anyone is managing the same stresses and having some success?
Background: Separated for 3 years, de facto joint custody/access during these 3 years, working on finalizing by the end of the year.
We are at the stage where communication is only through lawyers, my ex-wife isn't allowing me to call my son while she has him for a vacation period (within jurisdiction), she has repeatedly interfered with my scheduled days, and she is telling my son that I won't allow this and that (she has requested some international travel, which I have declined until we have a final agreement in place).
I keep being told to focus on getting the agreement signed, sealed and delivered, which I'm doing, but I have to wonder, what's to prevent her from continuing this behaviour? Police enforcement of a custody agreement/order is notoriously difficult to obtain, I have no CLEAR parental alienation evidence (although she is forming a pattern), and I can't afford to challenge her in court for everything she may try in the future.
Is this really going to be a life of me getting my lawyer to send a letter each time, but the behaviour returning after a while? If an agreement isn't really enforceable except for the extreme cases (abuse, etc), what the hell is the point?
I'm feeling so deflated lately that the system is really not out to protect the kids, and enforce court orders. I have a meeting with OCL coming up, but to be honest, they have more extreme and pressing cases to deal with.
I'm managing the day to day stress by trying to think long term. My son will one day know who is the stable parent, and who is the manipulator. Is that really all I can hang on to?
No hugs needed, but I'm wondering if anyone is managing the same stresses and having some success?
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