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  • Thought I was done

    My 23 year old daughter who was supposed to graduate this spring just sent me a bill for two courses she's planning to take over the summer. She also informed me she may have to take some courses between Sept - Dec this year to finish her degree. This will be the 5th year I've been paying support for her. 1st year was an extra year of high school while she decided what to do then 4 years of courses through correspondence. Do I have to pay support for her if she is only taking two courses by correspondence? She still lives with her mother so obviously this is designed to keep the support payments going. Help!

  • #2
    not sure...
    but if she's not full-time student, haven't your responsablilities come to an end?

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    • #3
      I'm not yet up to speed on how this "posting" works so I believe I might have gone to the wrong forum earlier.
      What I need is a clear answer to my question, I'm very sure it's been asked and answered before but I wasn't around so here goes.
      I read in some gov't. issued pamphlet (which I can't locate) a few weeks ago which seemed to state that if a child (22) is attending post secondary school and has received a certificate (or some such) that the obligation of the parent paying child support is at an end. She'll receive this in April. She is now talking about taking another year. Please clarify this for me!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by confusedalso View Post
        I'm not yet up to speed on how this "posting" works so I believe I might have gone to the wrong forum earlier.
        What I need is a clear answer to my question, I'm very sure it's been asked and answered before but I wasn't around so here goes.
        I read in some gov't. issued pamphlet (which I can't locate) a few weeks ago which seemed to state that if a child (22) is attending post secondary school and has received a certificate (or some such) that the obligation of the parent paying child support is at an end. She'll receive this in April. She is now talking about taking another year. Please clarify this for me!
        I happened to be in court at the time, so I thought "what the heck..." and asked for continued child support for my son who had his BA, but was working on his B Ed. I figured since his father wasn't helping with ANY of the extraordinary expenses (the judge supported him not paying any extras) that perhaps the judge would at least continue the c/s for the second degree.

        Nope. No c/s after the first degree. At least in my case that's what happened.

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        • #5
          I hope so. I was under the impression she was full-time however this doesn't appear to be the case. I paid one extra year while she spent and extra year at high school, deciding what to take. Then she started university full time but at the end of year 1 she decided to take all courses through correspondence so I assumed she had a full course load but it appears she was onlt taking 4 courses per year, I paid for 5 but then she'd drop one. So she's short credits to graduate after 4 years at school so she needs to take more correspondence courses. All this time she's been living with her Mom who gets child support. Her Mom decided to retire last year at age 52 from being a waitress. I bought her a house and she was using the child support to buy a rental property so she has that income now. Anyway, she refused to pay her part of the tuiton fo rmy daughter so she got a student loan but I still had to pay my share 80%.

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          • #6
            I also think you only pay for kids that age if they're attending full-time at an accredited post-secondary institute. 2 courses doesn't qualify for full-time. 4 does, but it sounds like your daughter figured out the 5 for 4 gimmick. Given that, you've already paid for these last couple of courses and then some and I think you really don't have to do any more. If you needed, that would be easy enough to prove by requiring her to provide statements from the school for the past few years. But ultimately depends on how it'll effect your relationship with your daughter, and where you want to go with that at this point.

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            • #7
              That's a really good point. My relationship with my daughter is strained at best. Her mother can do no wrong and it seems no matter what I do it's never enough. Over the past 4 years I have paid out in excess of $55,000.00 in support & university expenses and there is no appreciation for it. When she told me she was getting a student loan I asked her why. she responded that her mom didn't want to pay her 20% of the education expenses. I pay 80%. when i told her that her mother has an obligation to pay the 20% she got mad at me and said her mother pays enough already. funny, her mother doesn't work, neither does her new husand. he's retired so she decided to retire too, at age 52. I know she used the support money to buy a rental property as she worked part-time as a waitress for her entire working life so she couldn't qualify for the mortgage unless she was using the support money to help pay for the rental property. So I'm sitting here in a pile of debt after paying support & university expenses for three kids over the past 10 years, at an average of $14,000 per year per kid, for a total of almost $170,000.00 and her mother who has profited from this situation to the tune of a house and a pile of income, pays enough already?
              My kids were under the influence of my ex-wife all thsoe years so I'm at a real disadvantage. It's only my eldest daughter who is married who is starting to see the light. It's her husband I think that sees the situation for what it really is.

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              • #8
                It's a tough one to win, all the way around. At least your oldest is starting to see the light, but kids don't seem to grow up until they're 30 and older now-a-days, it seems to me, and it's only then that they start to see the real world for what it is (if ever). But with your immediate problem, how about a compromise (that's assuming you don't want to totally alienate your daughter at this point, although I don't know her, this suggestion may do that anyways...). I am assuming that your obligation is fairly standard as in paying maintenance for kids until they're 21 or 25 if they are in full-time attendance at a post-secondary school. So now your daughter is definitely not, so your maintenance obligation is over. And since that goes to her mum anyways, she might not even notice the fact other than her mom telling her, which could possibly backfire on her in that your daughter might not have realized how much you actually do contribute to her life. But then as a peace-offering, you offer to pay for one course and tell her that you've already paid for them given that she's pocketed the money you paid for previous courses. At 22, living at home taking 2 correspondence courses, she can definitely go and find a part-time, if not full-time, job to keep herself afloat, and it'd be good for her. She probably won't like that, but like I said, this is a tough one to win. Ten years of paying hasn't won her over, so you have to decide whether a few more bucks will make a difference, either for or against your relationship. But the maintenance... I think your obligation there has definitely come to an end.

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                • #9
                  Thought I was done

                  Does anybody out there know the name of, or perhaps has read the gov't issued pamphlet that I read but can't find now? I went to the family court offices but no luck.
                  Is there anybody out there who was in the same boat (child graduating or at least receiving a diploma) and after that did not have to pay child support even if the adult child decides to take another year?

                  I have a real problem with the mother in that at Christmas and birthdays the adult child asks for food vouchers (McDonald, Timmy's etc) and her favourite shampoo because she has run out!!!!! What custodial parent receiving child support regularly for the last 19 years would not feel guilty about that, especially when the 22 year old needs to lose some weight.
                  Not this mother though, she went back to school, joined a gym and takes cruises. She hasn't worked for the last 15 years, she was so sick (incurable illnesses) that she convinced the powers that be, they granted her a disability pension. Funny but she's now totally cured of all her illnesses, that were not curable before. She's just getting ready for the day that she can no longer squeeze any more $ from her ex. Wily and cunning like a fox!
                  I would really appreciate some good advice re the "child support after receiving her diploma."
                  Thanks for listening

                  By the way, she convinced her daughter that she needed to attend another year at school, while she lives at home. Even bought a car that her daughter has to pay for so that she could commute! I could go on and on, but it's just more of the same old stories.

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                  • #10
                    Good suggestion. I paid for the two summer courses already and I'll pay the support payment for April but then I'm done with the support payments. My position will be exactly as you stated, she can get a full-time job and finish her courses. I'll pay for the courses but she'll have to support herself.

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                    • #11
                      Hey confusedalso, I'm new to this forum also. But I think you are getting ignored here because this thread was started by jq55 and people are responding to his question/problem.

                      I think you should start your own thread (hit the [New Topic] button) and provide more details on your situation. Maybe a moderator will jump in if this is not correct.

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                      • #12
                        Sorry if this is a repeat - not sure if I posted it last time or not (I seem to be technically challenged). But to jq55, there are a couple of sites that answer quick legal questions, answered by lawyers. It might be worth it to try to get a definite answer as to whether 2 correspondence courses is definitely part-time as opposed to full-time. Sounds silly, but some of the legal definitions in Family Law are silly, and it'd be better to know for sure before stopping the maintenance payments. I did that much schooling while working and bringing up 3 kids, but sometimes the government seems to work at keeping kids dependent so that we have to keep on paying, and potentially save them money, I think. So I would suggest checking it out for sure to keep yourself safe.

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                        • #13
                          Thanks for the tip. Do you know the name or address of the sites?

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                          • #14
                            There's one called advicescene.com. I can't speak to how good it is... it's just one I ran across in my internet escapades, but it does answer Canadian law questions, so worth a try.

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                            • #15
                              80% of total...wow..dude you got ROCKED. I would have said that the second she reverted to correspondence courses that she was done her schooling and support should have ended. Correspondence courses are meant for people that have other things going on in their lives that prevent them from being a full time student...like working to support yourself

                              Post secondary expenses are a huge grey area, but the bottom line is that your daughter should have been expected to utilize all other areas of funding and your ex and yourself should have then been responsible for covering the remainder. (either a 50-50 split, or proportional to income.) The amount covered by yourself and your ex should not have exceeded 2/3's of the total.

                              This would place her in line with other children whose parent's aren't divorced.

                              Do you have a support agreement in place that outlines when support ends?

                              Comment

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